What do you call an electrically charged seal?
A seal ion.
What do you call a flamingo that flew into a wall?
A flamingstop.
What does a well-educated owl say?
Whom.
Why was the skeleton afraid of the dog?
Because dogs love bones.
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
Why is it easy for chicks to talk?
Because talk is cheep.
Why did the cow wear a bell around her neck?
Because her horn didn’t work.
What’s an orca’s favorite TV show?
Whale Of Fortune.
I love walking my neighbor’s dog. It’s the leashed I can do.
You cross a turtle with a giraffe and a kangaroo and you end up with a turtle
neck jumper.
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
I thought swimming with the dolphins was expensive, but swimming with the sharks cost me an arm and a leg!
I was she-shocked when my pet turtle died.
What do you get when you cross a ghost with a chicken?
A poultry-geist.
What’s in the middle of a jellyfish?
A jelly button.
What did the dolphin detective say to his partner?
Something smells fishy!
What do you get when you cross a parrot and a shark?
A bird that talks your ears off.
He has some good puns on crows, but he doesn’t have to keep crowing about it.
What do you call a large gorilla who appears to be in a bad mood?
Sir.
What do you call a freezing bear?
A brrrrrrr.
When pigs work together, it’s known as collab-boar-ation.
What do you call it when evil worms take over the world?
Global Worming!
How do you make a glow worm happy? Cut off its tail and it will be de-lighted.
Why do cows think cooks are mean?
They whip cream.
What type of dog would be the best at portraying Tina Turner?
An Angela Bassett Hound.
Why was the horse such a good dancer?
It perfected its halturn.
Whats the preferred car of frogs?
The Beetle.
How did the koala bear get the high-paying job? He met all of the koalafications.
Who would win a game of hide and seek between a dalmatian and a tiger? The tiger because he wouldn't be spotted.
I asked a panda if he was my friend.
He said, “Just bearly”.
In the Camel Kingdom, the king and his family live in the Camelot castle.
My grandfather had the heart of a tiger
And a lifetime ban at the zoo
What type of tool does a prehistoric reptile carpenter use? A dino-saw!
I've always liked Buffalo Springfield....
....For What it's Worth.
What did the deer say after he finished eating?
“That was deer-licious!”
What do jellyfish and a girl after prom night have in common?
They can't be deboned.
What's more amazing than a talking turkey? A spelling bee!
What did the deer’s mother say to her daughter on her birthday?
“I remember the day you were fawn!”
What did the carrot say to the rabbit? Do you want to grab a bite?
What’s a goat’s favorite drink?
Goat-arade.
Did you hear about the gorilla with a screw loose?
He needed to use a money wrench to tighten it.
The next round the wolf showed up at the butchery, he was arrested. This is because he was being tracked by the police for chop lifting.
How did the pony get the bugs away?
It said, horse-shoo fly, don’t bother me.
My dog recently joined a gang. Now he’s all about that pug-life.
My pink bird friend got dumped a while ago. He was sad for a while, but now he’s singe and ready to flamingle.
Did you hear what happened to the Energizer Bunny? He got arrested for Battery.
What's green and purple and goes up and down? Barney in an elevator.
Why was the mother rattlesnake sad?
The time had come for her children to strike out on their own.
I had a flamingo come to stay with me when he had a cold. We nicknamed him phlegmingo.
What is the proper name for the ghost of a buffalo?
A booffalo.
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