What type of tool does a prehistoric reptile carpenter use? A dino-saw. Who makes the best prehistoric reptile clothes ? A dino-sewer.
What kind of croc hangs out in back passages around town?
An Alley-gator.
What do you get when you cross a turkey with a banjo? A turkey that can pluck itself!
Why did the police arrest the turkey? They suspected it of fowl play
What's the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner? The turKEY
Looking after more than one elephant at a time requires the ability to multi-tusk.
What happens when you cross an Australian dog and a Beatle?
Dingo Starr.
Who is not hungry at Thanksgiving? The turkey because he's already stuffed!
What makes more noise than a dinosaur ? Two dinosaurs!
What do you call a dog that’s been left outside in the cold?
A chili dog.
How do you apologize to a koala?
Bear your heart and soul to them.
On Halloween night a group of crows decided to enact a scene from the play Julius Ceaser, they were enacting the caw-nspiracy scene.
What’s the difference between a fly and an eagle?
An eagle can fly but a fly cannot eagle.
The guy nearly saw a murder when he almost ran over his car over a couple of crows.
What does a English turkey say to another English turkey on Thanksgiving morning? "Excuse Me... ahem... To be or not to be roasted, that is the question!"
Why did the mouse stay inside? Because it was raining cats and dogs.
Why did the tadpole feel lonely?
Because he was newt to the area.
Q: Why did the tiger cross the road?
A: To stop the zebra crossing.
What do you get when a penguin lays an egg on a hill?
An eggroll.
I saw a sheep covered in plastic
It was lambinated.
Where do polar bears keep their money?
In a snow bank.
If you mix a ghost and a cow together, you will create vanishing cream.
What do penguins sing at a birthday party?
Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow.
What did the cow who barged the other cow say?
Moo-ve!
What did the deer say when she wanted to be left alone?
“Doe away!”
Hit the hammer that judges have and says “worm court is in session”. Then says
“All writhe”
What do you call a royal giraffe?
Your highness.
A beaver goes into a bar and sees a man standing behind the bar and asks him...
"Excuse me sir. Is the bar tender here?"
What do you call a funny snake?
Hissssssterical.
What do you call a Tyrannosaurus under stress?
A nervous rex.
An introvert elephant and an emo giraffe walked into a bar.
They couldn’t fit in.
Q. What do you call gorillaS who just monkey around at the gym?
A. Buff-oons
What is the proper name for the ghost of a buffalo?
A booffalo.
What do you call a group of crows flying over a couple?
A murder over love.
Why did the bunny eat the wedding ring? Because he heard it was 18 carrots.
How do snails get their shells so shiny? They use snail varnish!
The crow decided to dress up as Corvid-19 virus for the Halloween costume party.
What do we call a deer without any eye?
“No – eye – deer.”
After his teeth were cleaned, the werewolf ate the dentist.
Who were the original transformers? Vampire bats!
A spider called a tech support office.
He needed help connecting to the web.
Have you watched werewolves taking lunch, you will be amused, they literally wolf it down!
What do you call a monkey with a banana in each ear?
Anything you want, he can’t hear you.
What’s in the middle of a jellyfish?
A jelly button.
What Did The Duck Say When The Waitress Came?
Put it on my bill!
Why was the mother rattlesnake sad?
The time had come for her children to strike out on their own.
Whenever I go to a zoo, I only ever see dogs.
They were Shiht-zus.
Who’s a llama’s favorite U.S. president?
Barack Ollama.
What did the rabbit say to its wife? No bunny compares to you.
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps!
What do you get when you cross a giraffe and a pig?
Bacon and legs.
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