What did the cat say when it saw something scary? That freaks meowt!
What Do You Call A Cat That Swallows A Duck?
A duck-filled-fatty-pus
Why couldn’t the cat read a book? He was il-litter-ate!
What do you call a rabbit with fleas? Bugs bunny
Large, pink birds are a good asset to a football team. They’re very used to playing flamingoalie.
What did the turkey say to the man who tried to shoot it? Liberty, Equality and Bad aim for all.
What is an owl’s dream occupation?
Flight attendant.
What do you call a bee you can't understand? A mumble bee.
What do you call 144 kangaroos in a box?
Gross.
What type of bread do deers enjoy the most?
“Sour-doe!”
Where do frogs leave their hats and coats?
In the croakroom.
Where did the bull carry his stock-market report?
In his beef case
What did the deer write in his journal every day? Deer diary.
Where do polar bears keep their money?
In a snow bank.
What do snakes do after they have a fight?
Hiss and make up.
What does a bankrupt frog say?
Baroke, baroke, baroke.
I ate an omelette for breakfast…
but I’m still feeling peckish.
Zebras usually hold strong opinions. They are very black and white creatures.
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing? “I’m not a people porcine.”
What did the fawn say to warn her friend about the haunted house?
“Don’t go deer!”
What do you get when you cross a dog with a calculator?
A friend you can count on.
What do dog scientists to with their bones?
They barium.
Why couldn't the housefly board the plane?
It was on the no fly list
What do mountain climbers share around the campfire?
Goat Stories!
Why did the dog fail his driving test?
Because he couldn’t parallel bark.
What do you get when two giraffes run into each other?
A giraffic jam.
Why was the Whale bank heist so successful?
Because it was a whale orca-strated plan
Why did the cat get fined? He was caught littering
A sunburned murder of crows is referred to as 1st, 2nd and 3rd degree.
A lobster's favorite shot in tennis?
The lob.
What did the fish say when it swam into a brick wall?
Dam!
I sprayed a mosquito with mosquito repellent.
Now it has no friends.
When doesn’t a bull have horns?
When it’s a bullfrog.
What is a cat’s favorite game to play with a mouse? Catch!
What's an owl's favorite Beatles song?
Owl You Need Is Love.
What do you get when you cross an alligator and a crocodile.
A funeral.
What do a mommy bee and a daddy bee make when they have alone time?
A babe-bee.
Did you hear about the panda that had a slight stutter?
Seems it’s a story that bears repeating.
How do the cool camels say hello?
"How you dune?"
Today I went to the bee store
And I wanted 12 bee's but when I checked out the cashier gave me 13 and I asked him why he gave me 13 instead of 12 and he said it was a free bee.
Why do bees hum?
Because they don't know the words.
What did the seal with a broken arm say to the shark?
"Do not consume if seal is broken."
What type of snake does a baby play with?
A rattlesnake.
Escaped snakes make some people hiss-terical.
What type of flooring do alligators have in their homes?
Rep-tiles.
What do you call a mosquito with a turbo?
A bug-hati.
What is a rabbit’s favorite dance? The bunny hop.
I am an introvert, but you know how to bring me out of my shell.
What do you get when you cross a turtle with a porcupine?
A slow poke.
What is a baker’s favorite type of icing?
Fawn-dant.
Have you seen the new movie with the Dachshund?
Apparently it’s an Oscar Weiner.
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