What’s striped and bouncy?
A tiger on a pogo stick!
Where do cows get together?
The meet market.
When you swat a mosquito on your arm
Its death is in vein.
What was the turkey suspected of? Fowl play.
Why do tigers always hunt and eat their prey raw? Because they don't know how to cook it.
What did the big stag deer say to the hunter?
“Buck off, man!”
What’s a gorilla’s favourite pop group? A: Bananarama!
If you were in the jungle and a gorilla charged you, what should you do?
Pay him.
What kind of bread does a racehorse eat?
Thoroughbred.
What’s a horse’s favorite country singer?
Colt-on Underwood.
What did the horse reply when asked if it can jump 3 feet?
“I lope so!”
What is a baker’s favorite type of icing?
Fawn-dant.
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
Decalfeinated.
What do dinosaurs have that no other animals have? Baby Dinosaurs.
Did you hear about the kid that ate a whole pack of candy worms?
It’s a sour tale!
What do you call an ant with five pairs of eyes?
Ant-ten-eye.
What do gorillas and orangutans wear in the kitchen?
Ape-rons.
Why are glow worms good to carry in your bag? They can lighten your load.
How does a dog stop a TV show?
He presses paws.
Where do the monkeys melt their cheese?
Under the gorilla.
What do you have to know to teach a bat tricks?
More than a bat.
What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up? Try and try and try and try-ceratops
Is a mountain goat a hillbilly?
Why was the mouse afraid of the water?
Catfish.
What did the beaver say to the river? You can run but can't tide.
Did you hear that the singer Seal left a night club event because of the revellers sharing derogatory poems about him?
He was dissed by the prose at a rave.
What did Detective Duck say to his partner?
“Let’s quack this case.”
One day I saw a squirrel burying lotto tickets under a large bush, so I asked him what he was doing.
He told me he was hedging his bets.
What do you call a flying elephant?
A jumbo jet.
When someone accidentally stepped on his foot, the wolf screamed, Aoooowwwww!
Are beavers the best builders in the animal kingdom? Dam right they are.
What do bats say to those they dislike? Good riddance to bat rubbish!
Coming to Theaters: The thrilling tale of a man who cooked biographical books like turkey on Thanksgiving.
*Baste on a True Story...*
Why should you be careful not to insult a crocodile?
It may come back to bite you in the butt.
Why don’t rabbits get hot in the summertime? They have hare conditioning!
How do you find out how heavy a whale is?
Take them to a whale-weigh station.
How do you make a pig really happy on his birthday? Throw him a sow-prize party.
What did the kitten say after a disaster? That was cat-astrophic
What do you call a cat that is scared of small spaces? Clawstrophobic!
What do you call a pig who does karate?
A pork chop.
Waiter, waiter, do you have frog legs?
No, I always walk this way.
What's worse than lobsters on your piano?
Crabs on your organ!
How did the tigers greet the other animals in the jungle? "Hey! Pleased to eat you."
How do you know if there is a Brachiosaurus in bed with you? By the dinosnores.
No, I'm not concerned about crows infesting my house...
It's actually just a mynah problem.
What’s a goat’s favorite musical?
Joseph and his Amazing Technicolor Dream Goat.
What do you call an ant who skips school?
A truant.
Some marine biologists argued about how best to handle angry dolphins.
The were working at cross porpoises.
What is a cat’s favorite movie? The Sound of Mew-sic.
How do horses show gratitude?
Flank you very much.
Why do squirrels swim on their backs?
To keep their nuts dry.
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