What do you call a shrimp hit by a car?
Road krill.
Most camels prefer camelmile drinks because of the nutrition in there.
What do you get when a dinosaur walks through the strawberry patch? Strawberry jam.
What breed of dog always gets cold?
A Bichon Freeze.
Why don’t monkeys wear pocket watches?
Because they don’t wear pants.
What was the owl’s favorite Whitney Houston song?
Owl always love you.
How Do Ducks Talk?
They don't, you quack.
What is a cat’s favorite book? The Princess and the Paw-per.
What did the alligator say to the other alligator that was in the way?
“Please move, I need to get bayou.”
What is a three toed sloth's favorite kind of chip?
Fritos.
What is a cat’s favorite movie? The Sound of Mew-sic.
Where do bats like to relax?
In the bat-tub.
What do vampire bats call their friends?
Blood brothers.
Ever wonder how gorillas can be so strong when they eat mostly a plant based diet?
Cuz they don't monkey around when it comes to strength training!
Did You Hear About The Duck Who Thought He Was a Squirrel?
It was one tough nut to quack.
Q. How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Two, but it has to be a really BIG light bulb.
Pig always have ink all over their faces because they live in a pen.
What kind of dinosaur works for the police? A trisara-cop.
As long as your dog sticks by your side.
Anything is paw-sible.
A honey bee lands on a flower but is quickly kicked off by the spider living there. Perturbed, he flies away and lands on a different flower...
It was a cross pollination.
What do you call a horse running on a table?
A counter canter.
What did the squirrel say when his tail got caught in the door?
...It won’t be long now!
What did the father squirrel tell his son?
Acorny joke.
What's the worst part about being a beaver?
It's a lot of dam work.
What do you call a rubber bumper on a yacht?
A shark absorber.
Can one tropical bird change a lightbulb?
No, but toucan.
I was talking to a barn owl last night, when I mentioned that I'd just got engaged.
He said, "You twit! To who?"
Where does the Easter bunny get his eggs? From an eggplant.
What do you call a bee trying to make up its mind?
A maybee
There was a flamingo in our garden for such a long time, we started calling it a flaminstay.
Why did the chicken go to KFC?
He wanted to see a chicken strip.
What do you call a Pig with three eyes?
Piiig.
What do you get when you sit under a cow?
A pat on the head.
How do bats line up in school?
In alpha-bat-ical order.
There are good and bad times to buy a flamingo. Bad times are when they’re expensive, the best times are when they’re cheep.
Each time the cow escaped, the farmer would find him hiding in Moo York City.
If there were ten cats in a boat and one jumped out, how many would be left? None, because they were all copycats!
What is a koala’s favorite soft drink? Koka-Koala, of course!
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him?
Filthy rich.
What kind of car do bears drive?
Fur-aris.
Why do fish like worms?
Fish like worms because they’re hooked on them.
What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you?
Your calves.
I tried to phone the spiritual leader of Tibet once, but I was sent a big goat with a long neck instead.
I must have phoned Dial-a-Llama by mistake.
What did the female dinosaur call her blouse making business? Try Sara's Tops
What do you call a parrot that won’t eat?
A Polly-no-meal.
Our lobster neighbors never give us gifts during the holidays!
They’re so shellfish.
What is a deer’s favorite meal of the day?
“Deer-ner.”
What weighs 800 pounds and sticks to the roof of your mouth ? A peanut butter and Stegosaurus sandwich!
What sport does a cat play? Hairball!
What is a beaver's most favorite drama series ever? Riverdale.
What always succeeds? A toothless parrot! (sucks seeds)
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