What do you call two octopuses that look alike?
I-tentacle twins!
What do you call two kangaroos who live together?
Roo-mates.
What do you call a cat that gets what they want? Purr-suasive.
Thought I saw a zebra in a field near my house recently, turned out to be a horse in his pyjamas.
What did one beached whale say to the other beached whale?
Long time no sea.
What does the queen bee of every hive tell their workers to do?
She tells them to bee productive.
What do you get if you put an alligator in a blender?
Gatorade.
Why do dogs run in circles?
Because it’s hard to run in a square.
Why are koala's so sleepy? Because you just got to be tired being so darn cute all day!
Why don’t ants get sick? Because they have little anty-bodies.
What did the deer say after he finished eating?
“That was deer-licious!”
What did the snail say to the other who had hit him and run off? I'll get you next slime!
Where do dolphin races end?
Dolphinish line!
Which condiment is a mouse’s favourite?
Mouse-tard.
It's nearly 6 years since US Navy SEALs took out Osama Bin Laden in Pakistan.
Talk Abbottabad place to hide.
What did the duck do after he read all these jokes?
He quacked up.
What did the koala write in his Valentine’s Day card to his girlfriend? “I love you-calyptus”.
Looking after more than one elephant at a time requires the ability to multi-tusk.
Whats the preferred car of frogs?
The Beetle.
Why don’t bears eat fast food?
Because it’s hard for them to catch.
What do you call an otter with a carrot in each ear? Anything you want as he can't hear you!
What birds like to write?
Penguins!
What do you call a camel that looks the same from both directions?
A palindromedary!
My son asked me, "Daddy, why do bees stay in the hive in the winter?" I smiled and answered...
"Swarm."
A family of beavers were walking across a river. During that time, the dad said to the family: “Dam it.”
What do you get when you cross a giraffe and a pig?
Bacon and legs.
What did the snail say as he slipped down the wall? How slime flies!
There once was a koala who could run at a speed of more than 800 miles per hour. He was the first koala to break the sound bearier.
Pig always have ink all over their faces because they live in a pen.
A weeping camel is known as a humpback wail.
Why do mice have long tails?
Well, they’d look silly with long hair!
Who did the horse ask to be his second wife?
A manewer model.
Where is the best place to get camel milk?
Straight from the Dromedairy.
Why did the chicken cross the road halfway?
She wanted to lay it on the line.
What happens when you buy a dog from the blacksmith?
When he gets home he’ll make a bolt for the door.
How do you offer a camel tea?
"One hump or two?"
What do you call a bear that jumps but never lands?
Peter Panda.
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road?
Poultry in motion.
How do you spot a deer behind you? With hind-sight!
Llama know if you don’t like these puns and alpaca my suitcase and leave!
Why did the chicken go to the zoo?
To get to the otter slide.
Why are worms so easy to get along with?
Because they are always down to Earth.
What do horses use to eat?
Breastplates.
What do chickens study in school?
Eggonomics.
Why do bears have sticky fur?
Because they use honey combs.
What does Willow Smith say to her pets? I whip my hare back and forth.
Did you hear about the snake who wrote a love letter to his girlfriend?
He sealed it with a hiss.
Q. How do you describe the inate behavior of a new mother deer?
A. Doe-ting
What is the deer’s favorite food group?
“Deer-y products!”
How do you catch a Polynesian squirrel?
Climb a tree and act like a coconut.
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