What do you call a flying turtle?
A shellicopter.
What does a panda use to cook his pancakes?
A pan duhhhh!
Why did the gorilla cross the road? He had to take care of some monkey business.
What do you call a dream when a vampire bat is chasing you?
A bat-mare.
What is a beaver's most favorite drama series ever? Riverdale.
What do you get when you cross a fawn with a bumblebee?
Bambee.
How do you make a goldfish old?
Take away the “G”!
Why was the crow on the telephone wire? To make a long-distance caw.
Do you know why the beaver was found guilty?
Because the prosecutor had damming evidence.
What do you get when you cross two fish with two elephants?
A pair of swimming trunks.
What do you call a dog who can fight?
A Boxer.
What do you call a happy penguin?
a Pen-Grin!
Flamingos can be a bit of a daring bunch. In fact, they always fly by the seat of their pants.
What do you call a crab that throws things?
Lobster
What's an owl's favorite subject at school?
Owl-gebra.
Why doesn’t an owl study for a test?
They prefer to wing it.
What do you get when you cross a turkey with an octopus? Enough drumsticks for Thanksgiving.
What is small, furry and brilliant at sword fights?
A mouseketeer!
Why don't gorillas vote?
They're ape-political.
How did Gertie Gorilla win the beauty contest? She was the beast of the show!
What did the husband beaver say to the wife beaver to express his love and gratitude? You are the one for me, waddle I do without you?
What do you call a gorilla stuck in a ventilation shaft
A Duct-ape.
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
Sometimes we eat a crow while other times we eat Croatia.
Two European frogs discuss their ancestry
"So, are you a complete french frog?"
"No. I'm a tad-pole."
I was at the beach today when I saw a man in the sea yelling “Help, shark! Help!”
I just laughed. I knew that shark wasn’t going to help him.
I thought swimming with the dolphins was expensive, but swimming with the sharks cost me an arm and a leg!
What do you get when a dinosaur walks through the strawberry patch? Strawberry jam.
Have you heard about that socially awkward chef that only cooks with snake meat?
I’m pretty sure he has Asp burgers.
What do you call a penguin in a shell suit?
An egg.
What do you call a polyarmourus deceased gorilla?
Harembe.
What do you call a lazy crayfish?
A slobster.
How do you keep a dog from smelling?
You hold its nose.
What do you do if you find a blue Ichthyosaur ? Cheer him up!
Q: How did the tiger perform during the show?
A: He was a roaring success.
That dog is so beautiful. She should be on the cover of Vanity Fur.
Heard about the devoted beaver who crossed the turbulent river? He took a leap of faith!
What did the fish say when it swam into a brick wall?
Dam!
What did the woodworm say to the chair?
It's been nice gnawing you.
Why did the beaver refuse to laugh at any of the twig's jokes? He is not a big fan of dry humor.
What do you get if you cross a wasp with a doorbell?
A hum-dinger!
What does the like to parrot wear to the beach? A beak-ini!
What did the duck do after he read all these jokes?
He quacked up.
What do you get when you pick a pig’s nose?
Ham boogers.
I saw a squirrel throw up today! It was nuts!
What do you call a holy squirrel?
A chipmunk.
Why don't crabs give birthday presents?
Because they're just shellfish.
Why don’t bats sleep like the rest of us?
They can't get the hang of it.
What's green with red spots?
A frog with the chicken pox.
If dolphins lived on land, which country would they live in?
Finland!
The killer whale planned its attack on the seals for weeks.
It was very carefully orca-strated.
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