What's an owl's favorite Beatles song?
Owl You Need Is Love.
Did Rudolph go to school?
No, he was elf taught!
I saw a sheep covered in plastic
It was lambinated.
What did the bat say when she was invited to dinner?
No, fangs. I just ate.
Did you hear about the two silkworms that were in a race? They wound up in a tie.
Why don't you want to sleep in the sheep pen?
It would be total bedlam!!
What do you call a flamingo that flew into a wall?
A flamingstop.
What's grey, beautiful and wears glass slippers?
Cinderella-phant.
What do you get if you cross two snakes with a magic spell?
Addercadabra and abradacobra.
If you were in the jungle and a gorilla charged you, what should you do?
Pay him.
How does an octopus go to war?
Well armed.
If a monkey has thirty bananas in one hand and forty bananas in the other hand, what does he have?
Very big hands.
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because the cows have horns.
Which city do hamsters live in?
Hamsterdam.
Crows love Cawnie Chung, their favorite reporter.
Why was the glow worm unhappy ?
Because her children weren’t that bright !
If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have?
Plenty of milk.
Did you hear about the woman who complained about her rabbit stew? She said there was a hare in her soup.
I came across an injured flamingo the other day. I tried to help, but luckily it was already receiving medical tweetment.
What's a shark's favorite hobby?
Anything he can sink his teeth into.
That dog is so beautiful. She should be on the cover of Vanity Fur.
When the wolf stood on the grape, the latter said nothing but let out a little bit of a wine.
What is a cat’s favorite color? Purr-ple.
Our lobster neighbors never give us gifts during the holidays!
They’re so shellfish.
My favorite music is by Spandau Croc-quet.
How do pigs write top secret messages?
With invisible oink!
How do crabs evade taxes?
They set up shell corporations.
Where do cats go when they die? Purr-gatory.
Why did it take the teen pig so long to get ready for school in the morning?
She was very piggy when it comes to choosing what to wear!
Q. Where do Midwest does prefer to give birth?
A. Deerborn, Michigan.
Why was the crab embarrassed?
Because the sea weed.
Whoever lives by the sword shell die by it.
What was the owl’s favorite Whitney Houston song?
Owl always love you.
What’s black and white and stands in the corner?
A naughty panda.
Scientists transformed a tiger into a horse.
Don't worry, it's in a stable condition.
I’ve just read that according to statistics, donkeys kill more people every year than sharks.
I better watch my ass.
Crows, they just love sports, crow-quet to be precise.
What do snakes do when they get angry?
They throw hissy fits.
Q. What do swine use to chat up a date?
A. Pig-Up Lines!
Some see a puddle of mosquito larva.
I see a pool of enbitenment.
Did you hear about the constipated crocodile?
It was a crockashit.
What do you call a quiet sheep?
A shhhhhhh-eep.
How do you catch a monkey?
Climb a tree and act like a banana.
What does a beaver from Philly drink?
Wooder.
What does a twelve-pound mouse say to a cat?
‘Here Kitty, kitty, kitty’!
Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because the chicken joke wasn't invented yet.
What do you call a pig who does karate?
A pork chop.
What’s a llama’s favorite movie?
Alpacalypse Now.
How does a kangaroo pick his favorite baseball team?
He jumps on the bandwagon.
How does a shark greet a fish?
Pleased to eat you.
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