When you cross a sheep and a wolf, you will end up with a new sheep, you can’t make such a costly mistake with wolves.
How did the gorilla know she was poorly? She had a belly ape.
Why is earth worm humor offensive?
They only know dirty jokes.
What do you call an turkey with a carrot in each ear? Anything you want as he can't hear you!
Heard about the devoted beaver who crossed the turbulent river? He took a leap of faith!
What sound does a space turkey make? Hubble, Hubble, Hubble!
A flamingo only ever asks for a plaster when it hurts its pinky.
What do you call a pig who does karate?
A pork chop.
A star athlete in Koalaville got kicked off the Olympic team for cheating. Unfortunately, he was diskoalafied.
What did the judge say when a skunk walked into the courtroom?
"Odor in the court!"
Why did the firefighters bring a dog along with them?
To help them find the nearest fire hydrant.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with an alien?
A Mars-upial.
In the 5th month of every year, my aunt lets her pigs in the field…
It’s mayham!
Why do giraffes have long necks?
Because their feet smell.
What is the popular computer game that crows play? Caw of Duty!
What do you call a small, two winged insect resembling a mosquito that likes to keep the peace?
A diplognat!
Q: Which U.S. state do tigers like the most?
A: Maine.
I just learned how to speak parrot.
I just learned how to speak parrot.
Where did the deer go to fix its tail?
The re-tail shop.
The good pony apologized to the tiger at the zoo for his sore throat, he said: "I am sorry, I am a little horse."
What happens when a koala drinks too much alcohol? He gets a bear gut.
What kind of car does Yogi bear drive?
A Furrari.
Did you hear about the rabbit who refused to leave her house? She was having a bad hare day.
Who was the criminal crow running from? The cawps.
I had a nightmare about being attacked by a shark.
When I woke up I realized it was just a bream.
What do you call a zoo that has only giraffes in it?
Giraffic Park.
What would bears be without bees?
Ears.
What’s the difference between a dog and a gator?
A dog’s bark is worse than its bite.
Why is it a bad idea to give a cow marijuana?
The steaks are too high.
What did Shakespeare say when he was angry with his Dalmatian?
Out, out, damned spot.
What does a French beaver call his dam? Ma'dame.
What did the goat say when he woke up on a train?
I have no idea how I goat here.
What is a dog’s favorite vegetable? A collie flower.
What did one flea say to the other?
Shall we walk, or shall we take the dog?
Which state of America has lots of cats and dogs? Petsylvania
Why did the koala get fired from his job?
Because he would only do the bear minimum.
Her: "Buffalo meat is delicious. What are they made of? Beef?"
Me: "No... They're made of buff."
What kind of music do goats listen to?
Baaa-ch!
What did the bat say to the friend who itched and squirmined?
Come back when you have washed out the virmin.
Why did they stop giving the horse grass?
They wanted it to be less green.
Did you hear about the egg laden rabbit who jumps off bridges? He’s the Easter Bungee!
What’s striped and goes round and round?
A tiger in a revolving door.
Each year, lots of wolves go treating in howl-o-ween.
What do you call an elephant with rotors?
A Nellie-copter.
What did Homer Simpson say when he saw a female deer?
“Doe!”
Why was the dog such a good storyteller?
Because he knew how to paws for dramatic effect.
What do whales like to chew?
Blubber gum.
Where do most koala movie stars live? In Koalawood, Koalafornia, of course!
Did you hear about the guy who got killed by a bear?
It was a grizzly death.
A boy sees an alligator in the zoo and shouts,
“Hey, are you a caiman?”
The alligator replies, “I’m alright, thanks, kid!”
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