Where do cats go when they lose their tail? A re-tail store!
What did the weather reporter say to his wife?
“I hope it doesn’t rain, deer!”
What do you call a bat who gets a charge out of life?
A battery.
My dog got a promotion.
She’s now a branch manager.
Why are snakes hard to fool?
They have no legs to pull.
What do you call an alligator who is holding a compass?
A navigator.
What should someone do if they are stuck between a jaguar and a tiger? Simple, just take the Jaguar and drive away from the tiger.
How do you know when a baby koala bear is happy? You’ll see them jump for joey!
What is the popular computer game that crows play? Caw of Duty!
What would bears be without bees?
Ears.
Do You Know How Crabs Get Around On Land?
They Use The Sidewalk!
We did not understand what the mother turtle was saying because it was all in ridleys.
What birds should you recycle?
Toucans.
How can you tell if there is a dinosaur in bed with you? By the `D' on his pajamas.
Why wouldn’t anyone play with the little longhorn?
He was too much of a bully.
I love walking my neighbor’s dog. It’s the leashed I can do.
What does a Clydesdale say when you offer them a carrot?
“Of course, my horse.”
What do drunk kangaroos play?
Hopscotch.
Where do beavers keep their money? Well, they keep it in the riverbank.
Experts suggest that the crows flying beak first into windows at a horrifying speed comit a murder suicide.
Why did the man wear a rabbit as a hat? He didn’t want anyone to harm a Hare on his head!
How do tigers like their cheese?
Grrrrreated
What do dogs eat for breakfast?
Pooched eggs.
How can you tell you’re in a pig wine bar? Because everything’s swine.
What’s black and white, black and white, and black and white?
A penguin rolling down a hill.
What’s the difference between a marine biologist and a dog?
One tags a whale, the other wags a tail.
Did you hear about the sheep's jousting tournament?
It was a real baa-lancing act.
Q. Why do educated gorillas like the numbers 1, 3, 5, 7, 11 and 13?
A. 'Cause they're prime apes.
Q: What do you call a French guy being mauled by a tiger?
A: Claude.
What is a dog’s favorite movie about dinosaurs?
Jurassic Bark.
What did the kitten do when she wanted to order something? She looked in the cat-alog!
Beavers are the best at getting things done on riverbanks. They have their own waves of working.
I use a crow to wake me up in the morning.
There’s caws for alarm.
Why should you never share a bed with a pig? They hog all the covers.
Have you ever heard of the Crows Law Of Energy Conservation?
It's also known as the Law of Caws and Effect.
What did the fawn say to warn her friend about the haunted house?
“Don’t go deer!”
These ideas are too shellow, they won’t be of any help.
What did the duck eat for snack?
Salted Quackers.
If your piglet wants to be a wizard, there’s only one alternative: Hogwarts.
What’s worse than a giraffe with a sore throat?
A centipede with athlete’s foot.
What has 6 legs, red hair, and flies?
No, seriously. This thing is scaring the heck out me.
Why are frogs so good at basketball?
Because they always make jump shots.
Where do penguins go swimming?
At the South Pool!
What do a dog and a cell phone have in common?
They both have collar ID.
What do you call writing a book about breeding bats to pull carriages? A wheely bat idea.
What do you get if you cross a lobster with a telephone?
A snappy talk.
Did the dinosaur take a bath ? Why, is there one missing?
What happens when an alligator drives a boat?
He becomes a navigator.
Did you hear that the singer Seal left a night club event because of the revellers sharing derogatory poems about him?
He was dissed by the prose at a rave.
Where do penguins go to dance?
The snow ball.
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