What does a winged horse drink from at a party?
A keg-asus.
What animals were last to leave the ark?
The elephants as they had to pack their trunks.
What is a rabbit’s favorite dance? The bunny hop.
What’s the difference between a marine biologist and a dog?
One tags a whale, the other wags a tail.
What is a grandma sheep called?
A baaaa-nana
What kind of horse do you ride after dark?
A night mare.
How do crabs evade taxes?
They set up shell corporations.
Why was the conservative buffalo disappointed in his child?
He was a bison.
What do you call a FISH with no Eyes? A FSH.
How does a penguin make pancakes?
With its flippers.
What kind of car does an otter drive? A Furrari.
He has some good puns on crows, but he doesn’t have to keep crowing about it.
How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?
Squeaky clean!
Who in the hell names their son “Tiger” ?
Only people in the Woods’
Where do penguins go swimming?
At the South Pool!
I invented a device that can stop a snake in its tracks.
It's made of asphalt.
What did Papa Pig shout at his kids in the car?
“Stop swining! We’re nearly there.”
What's as big as a dinosaur but weighs nothing? Her shadow!
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?
A brick layer.
What does a bankrupt frog say?
Baroke, baroke, baroke.
What did the Easter bunny say to the carrot?It’s been nice gnawing you.
What do you call a flying elephant?
A jumbo jet.
What dinosaur is always sad? Cryalotosaurus
A crow’s favorite nutty dessert is Pecawn Pie.
Knock Knock!
Who is there?
Beaver Y.
Beaver Y. who?
Bea-ver-y quiet, you are in a library.
What did the pig exclaim when the wolf grabbed its tail?
“That’s the end of me!”
How do pigs get to the hospital?
In ham-bulances.
What do you call a super articulate dinosaur?
A Thesaurus.
Have you ever heard of the Poder bird?
It is also known as the Toucan
How do you make a panda?
Punch a polar bear in the eyes.
How do rabbits travel? By hareplane.
What do you call a Koala that can pick up an elephant ? Sir!
What happens when a duck flies upside down?
It quacks up.
When he was chewing the skeleton, the wolf got to a point and laughed. I guess that was the funny bone.
Why did the koala bear eat so much eucalyptus? He simply couldn’t leaf it alone.
What do rabbits say before they eat? Lettuce pray.
An elephant's opinion carries a lot of weight.
How do you get a one-armed monkey out of a tree?
Wave to it.
What was the dog’s favorite book?
Winnie the Pooch. He loves to read a lot of story tails before bed.
Why are beavers only found in freshwaters? Because they don't like stale water.
What's invisible and smells like worms?
Bird farts.
Q. What do you get if you cross a gorilla with a grizzly bear?
A. Fired from the zoo.
What does a cat say when it gets injured? MeOWWW!
What do you get when you pour hot water down a rabbit hole? A Hot Cross bunny.
What do you call a very smart bunny? An egghead.
A homicide detective walks into a bar and orders a beer.
"Hey look at those birds outside," the bartender comments to him. "Did you know that a group of crows like that is called a murder?"
"Well you can't be sure that's a murder," the detective says. "Unless there is probable caws."
If someone says, “See you later alligator,” you must respond with, “In a while crocodile.”
It’s in the bye laws.
Which state of America has lots of cats and dogs? Petsylvania
What do cows sing at their friend’s birthday parties?
“Happy Birthday to MOO, Happy Birthday to Moo!"
Why did the frog go to the bank with a gun?
He wanted to robbit.
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