What do cats build to prepare for war? Cat-apults.
Why did the duck detective get the key to the city?
Because he quacked the case.
Why do dogs find it hard to work the TV remote?
Because they always hit the paws button.
What do crocodiles wear to keep their legs dry in the water?
Gaiters.
What did the snake give to his wife?
A goodnight hiss.
Q: What do you call a French guy being mauled by a tiger?
A: Claude.
What does a well-educated owl say?
Whom.
What do you call a dream when a vampire bat is chasing you?
A bat-mare.
How do deer clean their feet?
Hoof paste.
What is a cat’s favorite TV show? The evening mews.
Why do mice need oiling ?
Because they squeak !
What is a cat’s favorite dessert? Chocolate mouse!
What do you call a frog spy?
A croak and dagger agent.
What do you call a Mexican snake?
Hisssspanic.
The worst part about being a giraffe…
Is having a lot of time to think about your mistakes when you’re sinking into quicksand.
Why did the deer get braces?
He had buck teeth.
Black Beauty - Now there's a dark horse.
Why did the two bears break up at the North Pole?
They were polar opposites.
What happens when a cow stops shaving?
It grows a Moostache.
What happened when the koala tripped and fell in a crowded restaurant? He got embearassed.
What’s the difference between a lion and a tiger?
A tiger always tells the truth, the other one is always lie-on.
Crows prefer carrion, so their bags are never checked at the airport.
Why do seals swim in salt water ?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze.
Why are frogs so happy? They eat whatever bugs them.
What’s black and white and as hard as a rock?
A panda that’s fallen in cement.
What is the similarity between a male deer and a beaver? Both have buck teeth.
Why are there old dinosaur bones in the museum? Because they can't afford new ones!
Each time the cow escaped, the farmer would find him hiding in Moo York City.
What board game do deer families always play?
Buck-gammon.
For waterproofing their nests, crows buy caw-king.
Q. What's on display at the Canadian Moose Museum?
A. Mod deer 'n art.
What do ducks watch on TV?
Duck-umentaries.
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Pig…
Pig who?
Pig on someone your own size!
Two fruit flies are out for dinner.
I'm really enjoy this date...”
“Yeah, but it’s only half rotten.”
The manager for that dairy farm was referred to as the cow-ordinator.
What’s black and white and yellow?
A cowardly panda.
Where do you send turtles who commit crimes?
To the shell-block.
Local restaurant has kangaroo loin and it’s actually pretty good
It’s been awhile since I had it, but I remember it being a little jumpy and has a kick.
What is a good place for bat jokes?
A public bat room.
Which bird is the most contented? The crow, because he never complains without caws.
What do you call a pig with skin problems? A wart-hog.
I use a crow to wake me up in the morning.
There’s caws for alarm.
Why didn't the T-rex skeleton attack the museum visitors? Because she had no guts!
What kind of musical instrument do mice play? A mouse organ! Why do mice have long tails? Well, they'd look silly with long hair!
What do you call writing a book about breeding bats to pull carriages? A wheely bat idea.
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table?
She was hogging all the food!
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite game?
Jump rope.
What do you call an outlaw goat?
Billy the Kid.
Why do worms taste like chewing gum?
Because they’re wrigleys!
Why are bunnies always tired in April? Because they just finished a March.
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