How do you make a glow worm happy? Cut off his tail, he'll be de-lighted.
The guy nearly saw a murder when he almost ran over his car over a couple of crows.
Thinking about selling my crab so i could make money. Then I realised "am I really this shellfish"?
What do you call a pig that does a lot of charity work?
Philanthropig
What makes more noise than a dinosaur ? Two dinosaurs!
Q. Why did the gorilla go to the barber?
A. He was concerned about his ape-pearance.
How did the penguin pass his driving test?
He winged it.
What do the lady pigs say when someone leaves the toilet seat up? “Hoof-orgot to put the seat down?"
How did the little koala bear stop the movie? She hit the paws button.
It's nearly 6 years since US Navy SEALs took out Osama Bin Laden in Pakistan.
Talk Abbottabad place to hide.
What happened when a bat misbehaved in night school?
She got suspended.
A magician once said he could make a tiger disappear but only transformed it into a tabby cat...
It was a sleight exaggeration.
What mouse was a Roman emperor? Julius Cheeser!
What’s a rabbit’s favorite game? Hopscotch!
How many limbs does an alligator have?
It all depends on what he ate for lunch, dinner and breakfast.
What's green, green, green, green, green?
A frog rolling down a hill.
What is the definition of “moon”?
The past tense of “moo”.
Did you hear about the woman who complained about her rabbit stew? She said there was a hare in her soup.
What do you call a snake that is trying to become a bird?
A feather boa.
I do find that flamingos don’t plan very well for the future… They’re too prone to putting all their eggs in the one basket.
What do you call a mosquito with a turbo?
A bug-hati.
Where does a cat keep its coins? In its purr-se.
What happened when the bat swallowed the alarm-clock?
She turned into a ding-bat.
My dog needed date ideas.
I told him to whine and dine her.
There was a flamingo in our garden for such a long time, we started calling it a flaminstay.
What did the crow said when it saw a car coming? Cawr.
Why should you never share a bed with a pig? They hog all the covers.
What’s a buck’s least favorite sandwich bread?
Sour doe.
Why didn't the two worms get on Noah's Ark in an apple? Because everyone had to go on in pairs.
I threw water on a flamingo the other day
Now it's just an O.
What do you call an alligator that has all the other gators at the swamp crown around him?
A congregator.
Where does the Easter bunny get his eggs? From an eggplant.
Why was the koala scientist so well-respected by his peers? He was known for conducting excellent koalatative research.
When should you stop for a glow worm? When he has a red light.
Crows go, listen, perform, and enjoy live music, at cawnsorts.
Why do fish swim in schools?
Because they can't walk.
Did you hear about the sheep's jousting tournament?
It was a real baa-lancing act.
How do you catch a unique bunny? Unique up on it.
Two fruit flies are out for dinner.
I'm really enjoy this date...”
“Yeah, but it’s only half rotten.”
What does pooh eat at parties?
Blue bear-y pie.
Q. How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Two, but it has to be a really BIG light bulb.
What do you call a three-eyed tiger?
A tiiiger.
What does a twelve-pound mouse say to a cat? 'Here Kitty, kitty, kitty'!
What do you call a Spanish pig?
Porque.
When my wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo,
I had to put my foot down.
Did you hear about the cat who drank ten bowls of water? It set a new lap record
What’s the definition of butter?
An angry goat.
All the turtles wore turtle necks to the party.
What kind of photos do turtles take?
Shell-fies.
Why do flamingos fly south in winter? Because it would be too far to walk.
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