What do you call an ant running away with another ant?
Ant-elope.
What did the dolphin say to the blue whale?
“Cheer up!”
What’s a dog’s favorite condiment?
Fetch-up.
What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a crab with boobs?
One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.
How does a horse get a suit fitted?
With a tail-or.
What’s a buck’s least favorite sandwich bread?
Sour doe.
What’s a whale’s favorite James Bond movie?
A License To Krill.
I’m putting an official ban on rabbit puns. They are not bunny anymore.
The reason you will see all the cows lie down when it starts to rain is because they want to keep each
udder dry.
What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?
Bamboo.
What is a snake’s favorite dance?
The Mamba.
What did the happy kitten say? I’m feline good!
Which bat can hang the highest and longest?
The acro-bat.
My dog won’t get off the PlayStation He’s been playing Fi-fur all day.
What do you call it when a marsupial tricks you?
A kanga-ruse.
What do you call an insect that can’t drink milk?
Lactose intoler-ant.
My dog’s favorite band is The Beagles.
How did the horse know the others were gossiping about him?
He herd.
Riding a camel really isn't as hard as they say it is.
Once you get over the first hump, the rest is easy.
Why do fish not like computers?
Because they are worried about getting caught in the Inter-net.
How do you make a glow worm happy? Cut off its tail and it will be de-lighted.
Why did the police dog get promoted?
Because he was the scenter of so many drug arrests.
What do you call an owl dressed in armor?
A knight owl.
What is a koala’s favorite exercise?
Bearobics.
What did the dolphin detective say to his partner?
Something smells fishy!
What do dehydrated alligators drink?
Gatorade.
What do you call it when a dinosaur gets in a car accident? Tyrannasaurus wreck!
My wife was describing the pair of Toucans the zoo recently acquired.
I responded "You mean a four-can?"
What did the owl booty text his girlfriend?
I’ve been thinking about you owl night long.
Why was the horse such a good dancer?
It perfected its halturn.
Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, “Is the bar tender here?”
Do you know why the beaver was found guilty?
Because the prosecutor had damming evidence.
I just had a pint of kangaroo beer
It was a bit too hoppy for me
Would you rather kiss a shark or a jellyfish?
A jellyfish. That’s a no-brainer.
Did you hear about the birds of prey on black Friday?
It was a free for owl.
Why can't you take a turkey to church? They use FOWL language.
Some pink birds can be really rude. I approached a group of them the other day and they screamed “Flamingo away!”
Why are crows the safest flying birds?
They're the most CAWtious.
Where do parrots invest their money?
In the stork market
What animal would you most like to be on a cold day?
A little otter...
What kind of bird always gets stuck in the nest? A velcrow.
Which birds go to church a lot?
Birds of pray.
What did Mama pig ask her kids every day after school?
“Hoofeels hungry?”
Crows have 16 feather pinions and ravens have 17 pinions. It's just a matter of a pinion.
What do you call a crazy chicken?
A cuckoo cluck.
Q. Why couldn't the gorilla run in the marathon?
A. Because he's not part of the human race!
What's better than a talking dinosaur ? A spelling bee. What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up? Try-Try-Try-ceratops.
What our parents tortoise was to be kind to each other.
Q. What can a buck take after a night of drinking at a stag party?
A. Elk-a-seltzer.
How do ponies react when the opposing team comes on the field?
They horse-boo.
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