I thought swimming with the dolphins was expensive, but swimming with the sharks cost me an arm and a leg!
How does a horse get a suit fitted?
With a tail-or.
Each time the cow escaped, the farmer would find him hiding in Moo York City.
What do bees call wasps?
Wanna-bees.
What did the bat complain about?
Flying with such frequency was exhausting.
Why does the dolphin kingdom never go to war?
Because it would defeat the porpoise.
A chap sees a zebra sitting on a seat beside him in the cinema eating popcorn. He says “what are you doing here?” The zebra says, “well, I enjoyed the book”.
Did you hear about the constipated crocodile?
It was a crockashit.
Where do squirrels go when they have a nervous breakdown?
To the nut-house.
I had to carry a group of crows once.
It was murder on my back!
A crow invited his buddies over to hang out but they didn’t show up.
He was charged with attempted murder.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a wolf?
An animal that mooed at the full moon.
Who is a snake’s favorite actor?
Humphrey Boa-gart.
What is a cat’s favorite piece of artwork? The paw-trait of Meowna Lisa.
Who cleans all the mess created by beavers after their beach trip? Mer-maids.
What's the difference between a cat and a frog?
A cat has nine lives but a frog croaks every night.
What did the baby mosquito say after his first flight?
“Mama, mama! Did you see that? Everyone was clapping for me!”
Why is a giraffe’s neck so long?
Because its head is so far from its body.
What do you call a cat that works at a printing shop?
A copy cat.
Just a buffalo laying down, bisoness as usual.
Where do crows type? Crows type on cawmputers.
Why did the cat invest in the stock market? He thought is was a good op-paw-tunity
It’s really easy to send a nice card to a flamingo. You just write “Hope you have a flamingood…”
Why are two parrots better than one? One parrot can't carry a coconut, but toucan!
Whats the preferred car of frogs?
The Beetle.
What does the father deer say to the mother deer to show his love?
“I love you deerly!”
Where do gorillas keep their beehives?
Apeiaries.
What do you get if cross a frog with some mist?
Kermit the Fog.
What do you call a thirsty bee?
Beehydrated
What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars ? Tyrannosaurus wrecks!
Wolves love taking woofles for breakfast, they are sweet and amazing.
What would a winged horse put in the bathtub?
A pegaLush bath bomb.
What kind of books do owls read?
Hoo-dunnits.
Why did the beaver cross the river? To get to the other side of the river.
What is a pink bird's favorite kind of dance? Flamenco.
These puns are turtle-y hilarious.
Where does a 2,000 pound gorilla sit?
Anywhere it wants to.
All these years of technological developments and I still haven’t seen a colour photo of a zebra.
Have you watched werewolves taking lunch, you will be amused, they literally wolf it down!
What did the deer say to his friend during their night in the woods?
This is so much fawn!
Where do bats keep their money? The blood bank!
How do deer clean their feet?
Hoof paste.
What's yellow and black and yellow and black and yellow and black?
A wasp rolling down a hill.
Don't give up at this stage, just keep cawing on, you will do great.
What do you call a Triceratops who scores his first goal? Dino- score!
I wondered why flamingos were so strong, so I did a little research. Turns out they do a lot of eggs-er-cise.
It’s raining cats and dogs today - I just hope it doesn’t rain deer!
What type of tool does a prehistoric reptile carpenter use? A dino-saw. Who makes the best prehistoric reptile clothes ? A dino-sewer.
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree on me.
It was a hambush.
What has four legs and goes Oom, Oom?
A cow walking backwards.
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