I’m putting an official ban on rabbit puns. They are not bunny anymore.
What do you call an animal you keep in your car?
A Carpet
Why did the cat decide to sleep under the car? Because she wanted to wake up oily!
What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
‘I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand!’
What do alligators and Windows have in common?
Neither of them has enough bytes!
What do you call a dinosaur that lost his glasses? uthinkhesawrus
What should you give a deer when it gets stomachache?
Elk-a-seltzer.
What do you call a snake that is trying to become a bird?
A feather boa.
What’s a whale’s favorite James Bond movie?
A License To Krill.
What type of bread do deers enjoy the most?
“Sour-doe!”
What fish like to fly?
Flying Fish
What did the owl’s valentine say?
You are hootiful.
What’s the first thing a gorilla learns in school? The ape b c’s.
A star athlete in Koalaville got kicked off the Olympic team for cheating. Unfortunately, he was diskoalafied.
What do you call a bat who gets a charge out of life?
A battery.
Flamingo parents are really cute with their babies. You should see them playing Beak a Boo.
Why couldn’t the clownfish buy a house?
The fish could not buy a house because he didn’t have an-e-mon-e!
What did the banana do when it saw a gorilla? The banana split.
What does the mouse say to its mate? "Were like crackers and cheese"
I saw a guy trying to cross a really busy street. Trying to be helpful, I said, “You know, there is a zebra crossing 50ft ahead.”
He said, “I hope he’s having a better luck than I am.”
Why is it hard to carry on a conversation with a goat?
Because they are always butting in.
How to fish like to eat cereal?
In a fish bowl!
Why do owl babies take after their dad?
Like feather, like son.
What do you call an alligator who kills bugs all day long?
A fumigator.
How do you get down off a horse?
You don’t, you get down off a duck.
Why are parrots so good at imitations? They love parrot-y! (parody)
What do you call a crab that throws things?
Lobster
What do you call a mouse with no balls? Optical. What is a mouse's favorite record? 'Please cheese me'!
Anything unrelated to elephants is irrelephant.
What do you can an ant scientist?
Albert Antstein.
What do you call a bee trying to make up its mind?
A maybee
How many rabbits does it take to change a light bulb? Only one if it hops right to it.
Where do parrots get away on holiday? To the beak!
When it’s raining, a turtle goes to a shell-ter.
Can one tropical bird change a lightbulb?
No, but toucan.
What kind of diet did the deer go on when she was trying to lose weight?
A non-deery diet.
What do you call an ant who won’t go away?
Perman-ant.
Why do fish like worms?
Fish like worms because they’re hooked on them.
What do you call rabbits that live at the North Pole? Cold.
Who has better beer: Rabbits or Kangaroos?
Kanagaroos. While they both do great with the hops, Kangaroos just have a little more kick!
Who’s a llama’s favorite pop singer?
Llama Del Ray.
Where do sharks go on vacation?
Fin-land.
Crows, they just love sports, crow-quet to be precise.
A seal goes into a bar and the bartender asked him,"What will it be Mr seal?"
The seal responds,"anything but a Canadian Club".
What kind of car does an otter drive? A Furrari.
How do mice celebrate when they move home? With a mouse warming party!
What did the owl booty text his girlfriend?
I’ve been thinking about you owl night long.
What do you call a shrimp hit by a car?
Road krill.
Where do bats keep their money? The blood bank!
I asked a panda if he was my friend.
He said, “Just bearly”.
Go to BabaMail
