Why should you never throw a snake like a boomerang?
Because it’ll come back to bite you.
The killer whale planned its attack on the seals for weeks.
It was very carefully orca-strated.
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers!
Thinking about selling my crab so i could make money. Then I realised "am I really this shellfish"?
What’s a buck’s least favorite sandwich bread?
Sour doe.
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxi cabs.
What squeaks as it solves crimes?
Miami mice!
When someone accidentally stepped on his foot, the wolf screamed, Aoooowwwww!
What do you call a thirsty camel ?
A dry humper.
What do you call a happy penguin?
A penGRIN.
Why wasn’t the giraffe invited to the party?
He was a pain in the neck.
Zebras aren’t fans of colouring books. They don’t like having to stay between the lions.
How do you write a book about bats? With a ghostwriter.
A worm child comes home. It sees mom and asks: "Mom, have you seen dad?"
Mom says: "Dad went fishing with the guys."
What do you call a secret group of llamas?
The i-llama-nati.
Q. What is another name for elk diarrhea?
A. Chocolate Moose.
How do lions greet people?
"Pleased to eat you!"
Flamingos are great at social events; they flamingle really well.
Why did the blind seal get eaten by the orca?
Because he couldn’t see that whale.
How do the crows in Texas greet each other?
Yee-caw
Kangaroos can grow up to six feet.
Most only grow two.
A boy sees an alligator in the zoo and shouts,
“Hey, are you a caiman?”
The alligator replies, “I’m alright, thanks, kid!”
What medication does a snake with hay fever take?
An antihissstamine.
What vehicle does T-Rex use to go from planet to planet? A Dinosaucer
What do you call a royal giraffe?
Your highness.
What do you call a jellyfish on a plane?
A flightoplankton.
Where do rabbits learn how to fly? In the hare force!
What's as big as a dinosaur but weighs nothing? Her shadow!
What do you called a crow that cant find his way?
A lost caws
Elephants will toil all day, and they work for peanuts.
It’s raining cats and dogs today - I just hope it doesn’t rain deer!
What do you call a pig with no legs?
A groundhog.
Why did the pig break up with her boyfriend?
Because he was a boar.
Did you hear about the crow who worked at a call Center?
He was fired for Just Caws.
What does a skunk’s car run on?
Fumes.
What did the owl’s valentine say?
You are hootiful.
What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud.
A lobster's favorite shot in tennis?
The lob.
I bought a bunny because everyone needs a friend who is all ears.
Why did the bat fire a chauffeur?
He drove everyone batty.
What do you call a kangaroo DJ?
Disc joey.
Which dinosaurs were the best policemen? Tricera-cops.
What is a rabbit’s favorite dance style? Hip-Hop!
Why did the beaver cross the river? To get to the other side of the river.
What is a worm's favorite band? Mud.
What do sloths make when it snows? Slow Angels.
What do you get if you cross a squirrel with a kangaroo?
An animal that keeps its nuts in its pockets.
How does a horse get a suit fitted?
With a tail-or.
Did you hear about the cat who drank ten bowls of water? It set a new lap record
What do ponies look for in a vehicle?
Lots of horsepower.
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