What do you call a mouse who can pick up a horse? Sir!
An arrogant gazelle walks up to a bunch of lions and tells them how much better he is than them.
He was consumed by pride.
What does a squirrel wear on its feet?
Cashews
What is a cat’s favorite book? The Princess and the Paw-per.
What came first, the alligator or the crocodile?
The dinosaur.
Why couldn’t the baby horse eat dessert?
It was foal.
What did the cat say when something bad happened? That’s un-fur-tunate!
What do you get if you cross a gold dog with a telephone?
A golden receiver.
Why did the dolphin end its own life?
It was missing a porpoise.
Elephants will toil all day, and they work for peanuts.
When a lion takes a lioness from another lion, he kills and eats any cubs she has. You'd think he'd be ashamed of himself.
But apparently he just swallows his pride.
What's the difference between a lobster and a Chinese man who's been run over by a bus?
Ones a crustaecian and the other is a crushed Asian.
What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo? An eskimew!
Our flamingo colleague was leaving for a new job recently. We all told him to flamingo for it.
What did the kitten do when she wanted to order something? She looked in the cat-alog!
What do sea monsters eat?
Fish and ships.
What did the beaver say to the river? You can run but can't tide.
Did you hear about the two silk worms in a race?
It ended in a tie.
Why did the cat keep meow-ing? It didn’t want to be fur-gotten.
What do you say if you meet a toad?
Wart's new?
If a young goat learns a martial art, are they a karate kid?
Why didn’t the teddy bear eat his lunch?
Because he was stuffed.
Dad: Where do desert nomads buy their camels?
Son: I dunno. Where?
Dad: at Camelot.
In what type of weather is the vet the busiest?
When its raining cats and dogs.
How do you find out how heavy a whale is?
Take them to a whale-weigh station.
What do you get if you cross a skunk with a bear?
Winnie the PU!
Why can’t you breed a eel with and eagle?
It’s Eeleagle.
The tiger ran away from other tigers as they were rude to him. He didn't want to be involved in a catfight.
What is a beaver's most favorite drama series ever? Riverdale.
What type of cat lives under the sea? A purr-maid.
What is the name of Santa’s rudest deer?
Rude-olph.
What do you get if you cross a glow worm with a python? A 15 foot strip light that can strangle you to death.
Where do bats get their education?
In night schools.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a Spider? A Hare net!
What do you call a monkey in a minefield?
A baboom.
Coming to Theaters: The thrilling tale of a man who cooked biographical books like turkey on Thanksgiving.
*Baste on a True Story...*
How can you tell if you are looking at a police glow worm? it has a blue light.
When buying crows for commercial use, always buy them in groups...
That way, you’re guaranteed to make a killing.
The chicken farmer died under mysterious circumstances.
The police suspect fowl play.
What is in the middle of dinosaurs ? The letter "s"!
What’s a goat’s favorite drink?
Goat-arade.
What do chickens grow on?
Eggplants.
What do sharks order at McDonalds?
A quarter flounder.
What are crisp, like milk and go 'eek, eek, eek' when you eat them? Mice Krispies!
What do you do if a rabbit keeps pooping in your yard? Take him to a pellet court.
What is a dog’s favorite hobby?
Collecting fleas.
A werewolf that is confused on what to wear is not a dumb one, instead it is a what-to-wear-wolf.
I had to carry a group of crows once.
It was murder on my back!
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite candy?
Lollihops.
What did the deer say after prancing around a cloning machine for an hour?
“I feel like a million bucks!”
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