Why did the shark spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny.
Did you hear about the panda that had a slight stutter?
Seems it’s a story that bears repeating.
How does a penguin get around?
By icicle.
What do you call a shark that can’t stop singing “U Cant Touch This?”
An M.C. Hammerhead.
What color socks do bears wear?
They don’t wear socks, they have bear feet.
Why did the bat walk in her pijamas to take a bath?
Because she did not have a bat robe.
What's green with red spots?
A frog with the chicken pox.
What do dogs increase?
The pup-ulation.
What’s big and grey and wears a mask?
The elephantom of the opera.
What do you call a bear without any teeth?
A gummy bear.
Why did the girl pour glue into her fishbowl?
She wanted to make a fish stick!
What is a parrot’s favorite game?
Hide and Speak!
Q. What is another name for elk diarrhea?
A. Chocolate Moose.
What is small, has a long tail and works with the police?
A gerbil shepherd dog!
What position did the young vampire bat play on the football team?
Quater-bat.
What kind of fish do Penguins catch at night?
Starfish.
Why did the turkey NOT cross the road?
To prove that he wasn't chicken.
Wondering what crows wear during Halloween, well, they wear caw-stumes.
A lion would never cheat on its wife.
But a Tiger wood.
What do you call a snake that informs the police?
A grass snake.
Knock Knock!
Who is there?
Beaver Y.
Beaver Y. who?
Bea-ver-y quiet, you are in a library.
How do you let a deer know you like her?
You fawn over her.
What did the big stag deer say to the hunter?
“Buck off, man!”
Q. What do you get when you cross a doe with a bull?
A. A deery cow.
What do a mommy bee and a daddy bee make when they have alone time?
A babe-bee.
What do you call a royal goat wearing denim?
Billy Jean King.
A zebra is the safest place to cross the road. Unless you are actually a zebra.
How can a bear catch fish without a pole?
They use their bear hands.
What do grizzlies use in the shower?
Bear conditioner.
What does a horse call its treats?
My greatest preakness.
Where do the cool horses live?
In rad-docks.
All the turtles wore turtle necks to the party.
Why do fish like worms?
Fish like worms because they’re hooked on them.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with an elephant? An animal who never forgets to eat its carrots.
What did the horse reply when asked if it would try water polo?
“I would dapple.”
What type of dog doesn’t bark?
A hush puppy.
What did the llama say when the other llama asked if they wanted to go on holiday?
Alpaca suitcase.
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
He was trying to fetch a boomerang
My pink bird friend got dumped a while ago. He was sad for a while, but now he’s singe and ready to flamingle.
How do you make a dinosaur float? Put a scoop of ice cream in a glass of root beer, and add one dinosaur.
Where do beavers keep their money? Well, they keep it in the riverbank.
Top 25 Funniest Duck Names:
1. James Pond
2. Quack Sparrow
3. Duck Norris
4 Quacks-a-Lot
5 Quackhead
6 Quacko
7. Quackers
8. Nutquacker
9. Quacker Jack
10. Quack Efron
11. Quack Black
12. Moby Duck
13. Quackula
14. Sir Duckington
15. Eggbert
16. Quackers
17. Duckleberry Finn
18. Quacker Jack
19. Lucky Duck
20. Cheese and quackers
21. Quaker Jack
22. Duckingham Palace
23.Waddles
24. Quackie Chan
25 Firequacker
Why did the pig break up with her boyfriend?
Because he was a boar.
Why do squirrels like to sit on telephone poles?
To stay away from the nuts on the ground.
What did the baby mouse do when she saw a bat?
She ran home and told her mother she saw an angel
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a mammoth’s tusk?
A sabre-toothed tiger.
How will a crow with a cold fever sound like? Caw-ph, Caw-ph.
When my wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo,
I had to put my foot down.
Why wasn't the hunter allowed to bring his antelope and buffalo with him on the plane?
You're only allowed one carrion.
What is the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can’t tuna fish.
How do you know when a crab's drunk?
When it starts walking straight
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