How do you know when a crab's drunk?
When it starts walking straight
What is a dog’s favorite type of homework?
A lab report.
Where do most horses work for their first job?
Re-tail stores.
What type of food do worms like?
Your Halloween Candy!
What do you call a really happy ant?
Exuber-ant.
What do cats do after watching a play? Give a round of a-paws.
What kind of bugs live in clocks? Ticks!
The wolf really needed to talk with the skeleton because he had a bone to pick with him.
What is a bear’s favorite soda?
Coca Koala.
What does a magician penguin say?
“Pick a cod, any cod…”
How do you make a pig really happy on his birthday? Throw him a sow-prize party.
What’s the one book all piglets read in grade school? A Series of Un-porcine-ite Events.
Why did the sloth get fired from his job?
He would only do the bear minimum.
Did you know that you only need two letters to spell Panda?
You just need P and A.
What do you get if cross a frog with some mist?
Kermit the Fog.
What’s a deer’s go-to ice cream flavor?
Cookie-doe.
What did the turkey say to the man who tried to shoot it? Liberty, Equality and Bad aim for all.
What game do bats like to play with birds?
Bat-mington.
What does Pooh Bear call his girl friend?
Hunny.
A slow poke is what you get when you cross a turtle with a porcupine.
Which condiment is a mouse’s favourite?
Mouse-tard.
What do we call a deer without any eye?
“No – eye – deer.”
Why was the horse sad she didn’t get the job?
She was flanking on it.
How do you save a drowning mouse? Use mouse to mouse resuscitation!
What’s the one way you should never greet a male pig? “Sow, what’s up?”
What would a tiger running a Xerox machine in the back of a store be called? A copycat.
What do you call a Koala that can pick up an elephant ? Sir!
What did the penguin say after he went shopping?
Put it on my bill.
Thinking about selling my crab so i could make money. Then I realised "am I really this shellfish"?
How do pigs get to the hospital?
In ham-bulances.
Young goats should be careful when they're out and and about and shouldn't jump into a stranger's car.
That's how you get kidnapped.
What did the horse say to his friend that didn’t come party last night?
You didn’t turnout.
What’s a horse’s favorite dinosaur?
The broncosaurus.
Who is king of all the mice?
Mouse Tse Tung!
Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?
He heard the referee calling fowls.
What kind of shark is always gambling?
A card shark.
Who is a snake’s favorite author?
William Snakespeare.
What do you call an ant who can see into the future?
Clairvoy-ant.
What do you get if you cross a dinosaur with a pig?
Jurassic Pork.
What do we call a deer that wears a mask and refuses to tell its name?
“Anony – moose.”
Q. Which kind of ape enjoys smoking tobaco?
A. Cigarilla.
What do cows do when they’re introduced?
They give each other a milk shake.
How do you make a milkshake?
Give a cow a pogo stick.
Why aren’t dogs good dancers? Because they have two left feet!
Why don’t fish play basketball?
Because they're afraid of the net.
Besides eucalyptus leaves, what is a koala bear’s favorite vegetable? Koalaflower.
Which animal can hibernate while standing on its head?
Yoga Bear.
What do you call a bear with no arms and no legs?
An ambulance. This is no time for jokes.
What do sea monsters eat?
Fish and ships.
What’s the difference between a healthy rabbit and an odd rabbit? One is a fit bunny, and the other’s a bit funny!
Go to BabaMail
