What did the Australian cowboy charge for kangaroo rides?
A Buckaroo
A rare black tiger is spotted in India
Everywhere else it has stripes.
What do you call a flying elephant?
A jumbo jet.
No one really enjoys crying wolf. However, the boy did cry just to get a howling experience.
What do you can a kangaroo covered in tape?
Hopscotch
Did you hear about the pig that ran the Post Office?
He was the first Porkmaster General.
How do pigs get to the hospital?
In ham-bulances.
What do you call a bear that jumps but never lands?
Peter Panda.
Where does a camel go after he's eaten his main course? He walks straight to the desert trolley.
Why are frogs good at baseball?
Because they catch a lot of fly balls.
Did you hear about the croc and rooster that had a kid together?
It was a crocadoodledoo.
What type of tool does a prehistoric reptile carpenter use? A dino-saw. Who makes the best prehistoric reptile clothes ? A dino-sewer.
What do you call the ghost of a chicken? A poultry-geist.
A famous turtle is called a shell-ebrity.
What's a goat's favorite organ?
A Kid-ney
The gang of crows used a crowbar to break into the house.
What do you call a guinea pig that has become a member of the mafia?
A hamster
Q: Why did the tiger eat the lamp?
A: He wanted a light lunch.
What do you call a veterinarian that specializes in canines?
A dogtor.
What did the alligator say to the other alligator that was in the way?
“Please move, I need to get bayou.”
What's a fish's favorite musical instrument?
A bass guitar.
Why couldn't anyone see the flamingo? It was in de skies.
What do you get when you cross a pig with a centipede?
Bacon and Legs.
What did the cat say when it saw something scary? That freaks meowt!
Why don't gorillas vote?
They're ape-political.
What do you get if you cross a pelican and zebra? Two streets further away.
What do cats eat on hot days?
Mice cream.
All prominent werewolf movies are produced in howl-lywood.
What’s happens to the sportiest horse?
It gets to be first horse-pick of the draft.
How do you prepare a Gorilla sundae? Your start getting it ready Fridae and Saturdae!
Why did one camel spit and stomp when the other camel stole its cheese?
Because they’re “dramadairies”
What’s the difference between a marine biologist and a dog?
One tags a whale, the other wags a tail.
What do you get when a duck bends over?
It’s Buttquack
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a Martian?
An eggs-traterrestrial.
Is chicken soup good for your health?
Not if you’re the chicken.
And the collective nouns go: a murder of crows, a herd of cows, a migraine of children.
How can you tell which end of a worm is which?
Tell it a funny Halloween joke and see which end laughs!
What do sloths throw in winter? Slowballs.
Sometimes we eat a crow while other times we eat Croatia.
Jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not having brains.
This gives me hope for the next generation.
What is a polar bear’s favorite cereal?
Ice Crispies.
What does a giant Tyrannosaurus eat? Anything she wants!
I nearly kicked my dog out, but we renegotiated the terms of his leash.
What do you call a reptile that works on a farm?
An irri-gator.
My girlfriend and I saw an inflatable gorilla In front of a jacuzzi store
She asked me why they would do that for a jacuzzi store. I told her it was a guerilla tactic. She was not impressed.
What do you call a bee trying to make up its mind?
A maybee
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
What do you call it when a giraffe swallows a toy jet?
A plane in the neck.
Where do most horses work for their first job?
Re-tail stores.
What do you get if you cross Bossy with a vampire?
Dracowla.
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