What's black and white and eats like a horse?
A zebra.
What do you get if you cross Bossy with a vampire?
Dracowla.
What’s a llama’s favorite song?
Llama Chameleon.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite toy?
A. A bab-boom-orang.
A sunburned murder of crows is referred to as 1st, 2nd and 3rd degree.
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a mammoth’s tusk?
A sabre-toothed tiger.
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
A hippo is really heavy, but a Zippo is a little lighter.
Calling my new dog “Shark” was a mistake.
I’ve been banned from all my local beaches.
What did the turkey say before it was roasted? Boy! I'm stuffed!
Why did the frog go to the bank with a gun?
He wanted to robbit.
What do snakes use to clean their car windows?
Windscreen vipers.
What do you call a truck-load of tortoises crashing into a train-load of terrapins?
A turtle disaster.
Which bird is the most contented? The crow, because he never complains without caws.
What’s a goat’s favorite musical?
Joseph and his Amazing Technicolor Dream Goat.
What was the scariest prehistoric animal? The Terror-dactyl!
How do you catch a monkey?
Climb a tree and act like a banana.
Why did the chicken go to the zoo?
To get to the otter slide.
What do you call a small, two winged insect resembling a mosquito that likes to keep the peace?
A diplognat!
What do you get when you cross ants with ticks?
All sorts of antics.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a four-leaf clover?
The Cluck o’the Irish!
Why did the beaver cross the river? To get to the other side of the river.
What is the difference between a dirty bus stop, and a crab with breast implants?
Ones a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean!
Why did the chicken go to KFC?
He wanted to see a chicken strip.
What did Tom get when he locked Jerry in the freezer? Mice cubes!
A seal goes into a bar and the bartender asked him,"What will it be Mr seal?"
The seal responds,"anything but a Canadian Club".
What do you call an ant who skips school?
A truant.
The scare crow was out standing in his field, so he got awarded as the best employee of the year.
Q. Which sweet dessert is banned from the menu at the Deer Cafe?
A. Chocolate Moose.
On which day do tiger eat people?
Chewsday
How do you offer a camel tea?
"One hump or two?"
Q. Where are deceased deer laid to rest?
A. In a moose-oleum.
What cheese do you use to get a bear out of a tree?
Camembert.
What do cows do when they’re introduced?
They give each other a milk shake.
Knock Knock!
Who is there?
Water.
Water who?
Water your plans for the weekend, Mr Beaver?
My pet crocodile needs help
Can I give him gatorade or does it only work for alligators?
What our parents tortoise was to be kind to each other.
Why do you never see koalas wearing shoes? Because they love going bearfoot.
When doing laundry, the mother wolf accidentally fell into the washing machine. It became a wash and wearwolf.
Why do worms have trouble getting up in the morning? Because the early bird catches the worm.
What does a Saudi bee call its bros?
Habibees.
If you call a large turkey a gobbler what do you call a small one? Goblet.
What type of food do worms like?
Your Halloween Candy!
Why isn't the the koala a real bear? He doesn't have the right koalifications.
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”
Why shouldn’t you tell an owl your secrets?
They’re always talon everyone.
What do you call 144 kangaroos in a box?
Gross.
Q: What does a tiger call an antelope?
A: Fast food.
What do a tree and a bog dog have in common?
They both have a lot of bark.
Why did the beaver stop cutting down trees?
The work gave him gnawsea
What is the similarity between a male deer and a beaver? Both have buck teeth.
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