What do you call a famous turtle?
A shell-ebrity.
Where do cows go on vacation?
Moo York.
Why did the penguin cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn’t chicken.
What did the llama get when he graduated school?
A dipllama.
What do you get when you cross a lion with a parrot?
I don't know, but when it talks, you better listen.
What do you get if you stand between two llamas?
Llamanated.
A goat came out of nowhere and headbutted me
It was a ram-done act of violence
What’s a pig’s favorite color? Ma-hog-any.
Why are cats bad at telling stories? Because they only have one tail!
What’s a deer’s go-to ice cream flavor?
Cookie-doe.
What’s worse than one crocodile coming to dinner?
Two crocodiles coming to dinner.
How does a kangaroo win a gold medal?
In the long jump.
Q. Which country was founded by wild gorillas?
A. The Banana Republic.
How can you tell which rabbits are getting old? Look for the grey hares.
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
There is a rule that cats can shed hair on anything in the house… It is called fur-niture for a reason!
What did the llama say when the other llama asked if they wanted to go on holiday?
Alpaca suitcase.
What’s a snow princess’s glow worm’s favourite song?
Let it Glow, Let it Glow!
I’ve just read that according to statistics, donkeys kill more people every year than sharks.
I better watch my ass.
Did you hear about the cat that ate a ball of yarn? She had a litter of mittens.
What kind of ant is good at math?
An account-ant.
What key has legs and can't open doors? A Turkey.
What do you get when you pick a pig’s nose?
Ham boogers.
What did the deer say to his funny friend? You’re deer-larious!
What do birds like to put in their soup? Crow-tons.
Why does the rabbit bring toilet paper to the party? Because he is a party pooper.
Q. Why did the gorilla cross the road?
A. To get to the monkey biz on the other side.
What do winged horses attend in school? Pegclasses.
Which color is a zebra's base color? The debate is endless, and there is no clear answer.
It both is and isn't a black-and-white issue.
What is a dog’s favorite movie series?
Fifty shades of Greyhound.
A guy wearing a suit and tie walks into a bar with an alligator…
He walks up to the bartender and asks, “Do you serve lawyers here?”
“Yes sir, we do,” says the bartender.
The guy smiles and says, “Great. Then I’ll have a beer, and my ‘gator will have a lawyer.”
If flamingos can’t fly, how on earth do they get about? They use flamingo karts, of course.
I went to the zoo today....
only to find out that some aquatic mammals had escaped.
It was otter chaos.
What’s the coldest fish in the sea?
A blue whale!
What do you get if you cross Bossy with a vampire?
Dracowla.
Did you hear about the psychic hermit crab?
Makes shell-fulfilling prophecies.
How can you tell if you are looking at a police glow worm? it has a blue light.
Why are houseflies great at arithmetics? Because they multiply really fast.
How do you make a dinosaur float? Put a scoop of ice cream in a glass of root beer, and add one dinosaur.
Why is it cheap to feed polar bears?
Because they live on ice only.
What do sloths make when it snows? Slow Angels.
Why did it take the teen pig so long to get ready for school in the morning?
She was very piggy when it comes to choosing what to wear!
Mistakes happen.
No need to terrier-self up about it.
What do you call a smartass bird of prey?
A know it owl.
What happens when you play tug-of-war with a pug?
Pulled pork!
What did the fish say when it swam into a brick wall?
Dam!
What do sea monsters eat?
Fish and ships.
Whats in a camels favorite cup of tea?
Camelmile
Flaked tuna is a great product for both campers, and dolphins
It's truly useful for all in tents, and porpoises.
What Do You Call A Clever Duck?
A wise quacker
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