What did the deer say when she met her favorite celebrity?
“I’m a big fawn of your movies!”
Why can't college professors take exams at a zoo? Because there are too many cheetahs.
What do you call a happy penguin?
a Pen-Grin!
What do you call vampires bats that cheer at football games?
Bat-on-twirlers.
What do sea monsters eat?
Fish and ships.
What's a horse's favorite sport?
Stable tennis.
Why did the mouse eat a candle? For some light refreshment!
What is the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can’t tuna fish.
Q. Which Louisville race exclusively features buck and stag contestants?
A. The Kentucky Deer-by.
Where does a baby monkey sleep?
In an apricot.
What do you called a crow that cant find his way?
A lost caws
An electrocuted turtle feels shell-shocked.
Why couldn’t the baby horse eat dessert?
It was foal.
What’s the definition of butter?
An angry goat.
What's it called when a buffalo turns two hundred years old?
A Bisontennial!
What should someone do if they are stuck between a jaguar and a tiger? Simple, just take the Jaguar and drive away from the tiger.
What’s the difference between a lion and a tiger?
A tiger always tells the truth, the other one is always lie-on.
What animal has more lives than a cat? A frog … because he croaks every night!
Young goats should be careful when they're out and and about and shouldn't jump into a stranger's car.
That's how you get kidnapped.
How do mares keep track of their boyfriends?
A stud book.
Q. What do you get if you cross a gorilla with a grizzly bear?
A. Fired from the zoo.
What do frogs drink?
Croak-a-cola.
What do you call a cat teacher? A purr-fessor
What is a koala’s favorite exercise?
Bearobics.
I've always liked Buffalo Springfield....
....For What it's Worth.
Did you hear the story about a Golden Retriever who brought a ball back from miles away?
It was far-fetched.
My dog’s favorite band is The Beagles.
What do you get when you cross an alligator and a poison frog?
A croakadile.
What does a doe stripper at a stag party take off?
A. Everything but her un-deer-wear.
What do you call a jellyfish on a plane?
A flightoplankton.
Have you noticed that most wolf parties begin at around midnight? Well, it is not by coincidence, it is so that they can have a howling good time.
What do you call a Spanish Goat with no hind legs?
Gracias
What do you do if you find a blue Ichthyosaur ? Cheer him up!
Why was the whale so sad?
The fish was said because he was a Blue whale!
What do you call a Spanish pig?
Porque.
What do you get if you cross a mouse with a Triceratops? Enormous holes in the base boards.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite holiday?
A. Ape-ril Fools Day!
It is said that crows and owls are in caw-hoots.
The tiger ran away from other tigers as they were rude to him. He didn't want to be involved in a catfight.
What do you call a freezing bear?
A brrrrrrr.
What happens when a cow stops shaving?
It grows a Moostache.
Q. Why was the gorilla's jungle party so lame?
A. Because theyran out of chimps and dip.
What do you get if you cross an abbot with a trout?
A monkfish.
Q. Which game do hunters go after first?
A. The nearest and the deerest.
Flamingo parents are really cute with their babies. You should see them playing Beak a Boo.
When is a car like a frog?
When it's being toad.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with an elephant? An animal who never forgets to eat its carrots.
What do you call a buffet for sheep?
All you can bleat!
Why do gorillas have really big fingers?
Because they have really big nostrils!
Why does a horse’s hair always look so good?
She mane-tains it.
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