What's more amazing than a talking turkey? A spelling bee!
What do you call a large gorilla who appears to be in a bad mood?
Sir.
Why do pandas have fur coats?
Because they’d look stupid in denim jackets.
Where does the Easter bunny get his eggs? From an eggplant.
Why was the pig a pathological liar? It’s a porcine-ality disorder.
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
What do you call an alligator that will only eat sacrificed lambs?
A hallaligator.
What happened to the shark who swallowed a bunch of keys?
It got lockjaw.
Where was the dinosaur when the sun went down ? In the dark!
Why did the horse go to jail?
The prosecutors failed to show the burden of hoof.
How do the cool camels say hello?
"How you dune?"
How do bats tell their future? They read their horrorscope.
What is a deer’s favorite meal of the day?
“Deer-ner.”
What’s black and white, has four legs and a trunk?
Two pandas on holiday.
I said some stubtly racist stuff to a magpie
She was a victim of my crow aggressions.
What do tigers sing at Christmas?
Jungle bells! Jungle bells!
When buying crows for commercial use, always buy them in groups...
That way, you’re guaranteed to make a killing.
I have a flamingo friend who has a fantastic imagination, but they are always indulging in flights of fancy.
Q. What does a doe say When something very unexpected happens?
A. Oh, Deer God!
What kind of magic does a love-struck giraffe practice?
Neck-romance-y.
Have you ever wondered which part of the flamingo has the most feathers? I found out once – turns out it’s the outside.
We did not understand what the mother turtle was saying because it was all in ridleys.
What did the cat say when something bad happened? That’s un-fur-tunate!
Where do owls go on their honeymoon?
Their love nest.
What do a tree and a bog dog have in common?
They both have a lot of bark.
What happened if vampires came to a big dance?
A bat ball.
Why do squirrels like to sit on telephone poles?
To stay away from the nuts on the ground.
How can you tell if you are looking at a police glow worm? it has a blue light.
Are beavers the best builders in the animal kingdom? Dam right they are.
What’s the spiciest way to clean a horse?
With a curry comb.
What kind of deer make great weather forecasters?
Rain-deer.
Why did the bear dissolve in water?
It was polar.
The public investigated a box full of crows because it was a murder case.
Who has large antlers, a high voice and wears white gloves? Mickey Moose!
What do you get if you cross a giraffe and a hedgehog?
An extra long toilet brush.
Beavers enjoy being in the company of a river because they go with the flow.
I went to a mosquito themed restaurant.
It wasn't very good, though. After a few bites I got up and left.
A bunch of crows ganged up and killed a chicken.
It was a murder most fowl.
Why did the otter cross the road? To prove to the possum that it could be done!
Q. Which sweet dessert is banned from the menu at the Deer Cafe?
A. Chocolate Moose.
It’s pretty easy to choose your favorite type of bird
Flamingos have a leg up on all the rest.
What do you call a koala with a negative attitude? The bearer of bad news.
Most camels prefer camelmile drinks because of the nutrition in there.
What do you get when you cross a cow and an earthquake?
Milkshake.
I felt so guilty after I stepped on a snail this morning. You should of seen him, he looked genuinely crushed.
What kind of croc hangs out in back passages around town?
An Alley-gator.
What did the Golden Retriever say to the beautiful poodle?
You’re looking very fetching.
What do you get when you cross a pig and superman?
The Man of Squeal.
There was a flamingo in our garden for such a long time, we started calling it a flaminstay.
I had a nightmare about being attacked by a shark.
When I woke up I realized it was just a bream.
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