What did the nervous crow do? The crow proceeded with caw-tion.
What is the popular computer game that crows play? Caw of Duty!
What should someone do if they are stuck between a jaguar and a tiger? Simple, just take the Jaguar and drive away from the tiger.
Did you hear about the mother goat telling jokes?
She’s a real kidder.
What did the Gorilla say when he saw there was a sale happening?
Ooh! OOh! OOOh!!!!
Why are pigs awful basketball players?
They hog the ball.
What do you call a talking kangaroo?
A quantum leap.
How do fleas get from place to place?
By itch-hiking.
What did one pig say to the other?
Let’s be pen pals.
All seals live at the same elevation
Seal level.
A magician once said he could make a tiger disappear but only transformed it into a tabby cat...
It was a sleight exaggeration.
The hipster beaver denied swimming in the river. He said it was too main-stream.
What's grey, beautiful and wears glass slippers?
Cinderella-phant.
Why did the T-Rex get a ticket? He ran through the stomp sign.
Why do mice need oiling?
Because they squeak!
The expensive dog has gone missing.
However, police are saying that at least they have a lead. Once she is found they will Retriever.
What can one parrot do?
Not as much as toucan.
I use a crow to wake me up in the morning.
There’s caws for alarm.
What did the squirrel say to its baby before it had to leave?
I'm gonna go out on a limb here.
Why are owls so good at math?
They excel at owlgebra.
How did the pony get the bugs away?
It said, horse-shoo fly, don’t bother me.
What is a frog's favorite time?
Leap year.
Why did the thieves kidnap the monkey?
Because they believed in gibbon take.
What kind of monkey likes seafood?
A shrimpanzee.
Would you mind watching my pet parrot while I’m out, as long as it’s not too much of a birden?
What happens when two snails get into a fight? They slug it out!
What do we call a deer that wears a mask and refuses to tell its name?
“Anony – moose.”
Why was the mosquito sad on christmas?
It was a bah hum bug.
Why don’t rabbits get hot in the summertime? They have hare conditioning!
My wife got stung by a jellyfish and said, “Quick, pee on it!” So I peed on it and said…
“That’s for stinging my wife!”
What do you call a group of dyslexic crows?
A redrum.
Which animal can hibernate while standing on its head?
Yoga Bear.
What's a frog's favorite candy?
Lollihops.
What's the difference between an owl and an Irish funeral?
One's awake in the night and the other's a wake in the day.
What's an owl's favorite Beatles song?
Owl You Need Is Love.
What do you call a pig with no legs?
A groundhog.
What do snakes do when they get angry?
They throw hissy fits.
Don’t wait on me to start the meeting. I might be a hare late.
How does a deer know what day of the week it is?
It looks at its calen-deer.
How does a bee get to school?
She takes a school buzz
Why did the sloth get fired from his job? He would only do the BEAR minimum.
What do you get when you cross a bat with the internet? blood-thirsty hacker baby
My dog never stands up for himself.
He just rolls over.
Why was the Navy Seal sad?
He doesn't like the color blue.
Why are flamingos the happiest birds? They live with no reggrets.
My wife tried to claim she was a night owl.
She was lying though, because when I tried to turn her head through 270 degrees, her neck snapped.
What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?
You get as far away as possible.
What part of a fish weighs the most?
The scales.
The big cat was known around town to wear a lot of funky ties. Everyone called him the tie-ger.
What is a koala’s favorite type of fruit? Bearies.
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