What do you call a light-headed elephant?
An ele-faint.
I recently got two German Shepherds. Because
I wanted some paw-dy guards.
What animal would you most like to be on a cold day?
A little otter...
Why are cats such great singers? Because they’re very mewsical
Q. Where do gorillas get their gossip?
A. From the grapevine.
What do you call a veterinarian that specializes in canines?
A dogtor.
What did one frog say.to the other?
Time's sure fun when you're having flies.
What did the bat complain about?
Flying with such frequency was exhausting.
Flamingos can get away with the most outrageous behaviour and you’d never know that they were embarrassed. This is because you can never tell when they are blushing.
Who is a snake’s favorite actor?
Humphrey Boa-gart.
A werewolf that is confused on what to wear is not a dumb one, instead it is a what-to-wear-wolf.
A beaver goes into a bar and sees a man standing behind the bar and asks him...
"Excuse me sir. Is the bar tender here?"
Have you heard about the gorilla who got a name change?
Peaches the gorilla escaped from the zoo, but when they got him back they had to change it because it turns out he had become an Ape Re-caught.
If you ever need directions, call for a navi-gator.
What is a parrot’s favorite game?
Hide and Speak!
Crows organized a cawnfrences, to discuss the upcoming project.
What do you call a well-balanced horse?
Stable.
Did you hear about the 2 apes that kept fighting with each other?
It was gorilla warfare.
What is a cat’s favorite deal? Buy one, get one furry.
What is a koala bear’s favorite line in the movie “The Sixth Sense”? “Aussie dead people.”
I heard some crows communicating after one of their own was injured.
They were caws for concern.
I was at the beach today when I saw a man in the sea yelling “Help, shark! Help!”
I just laughed. I knew that shark wasn’t going to help him.
Each time the cow escaped, the farmer would find him hiding in Moo York City.
What do you call a flying monkey?
A hot air baboon.
Why are some fish at the bottom of the ocean?
Because they dropped out of the school.
My favorite music is by Spandau Croc-quet.
Why aren’t dogs good dancers?
Because they have two left feet.
What did the squirrel say when his tail got caught in the door?
...It won’t be long now!
What did the father squirrel tell his son?
Acorny joke.
What do you call a wasp who is having a bad hair day?
A frizz-bee
What cheese do you use to get a bear out of a tree?
Camembert.
What sound does a llama’s doorbell make?
Llama llama ding dong.
What is the only difference between a lion and a tiger? The mane part is missing in a tiger.
Had beaver curry last night.
Bit like a normal curry, just a little otter.
That alligator took great photos, he was a bit of a snapper.
What’s the difference between a crow and a chicken?
A chicken can crow, but a crow can’t chicken.
Why did the dinosaur paint her toenails red? So she could hide in the strawberry patch!
What do you call a Mexican bear with a rubber toe?
Robearto.
Q. Which kind of deer has a serious drinking problem?
A. The elk-oholic.
What kind of tree does a chicken come from?
A poul-tree.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
I hate worms and snakes because they have no feet.
You might say that I am lacktoes intolerant.
What do you call an ant who skips school?
A truant.
Whale, whale, whale…
If it isn’t a pod.
What was the shark’s favorite Tim Burton film?
Edward Scissorfins.
Which side of a penguin has the most feathers?
The outside.
What do you can an owl who's been caught in the act?
A spotted owl.
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
What do you call bears with no ears?
B.
Why couldn’t the clownfish buy a house?
The fish could not buy a house because he didn’t have an-e-mon-e!
Why don`t ducks tell jokes when they fly?
Because they would quack up.
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