A zoo owner introduced his tiger to the visitors by saying "this is the most paw-some tiger at the zoo".
What does a cow put on his French toast?
Moooolasses.
Why are frogs so good at basketball?
Because they always make jump shots.
Why do owls make such bad baseball players?
Their hits are always fowl.
What do you have to know to teach a bat tricks?
More than a bat.
Where are koalas taken when they die? To an ancient bearial site.
What did the Clydesdale use to deal cards at the casino?
A horse-shoe.
What does a deer do when it gets to its friend’s house?
Rings the deer bell.
What did the deer say when her crush told her a joke?
“You are doe funny!”
A spider, a snake, and a kangaroo walk into a bar…
It’s a normal day in Australia.
Why did the bear quit his second job?
Because he needed some koalaty time with his family.
Q. What does a doe stripper at a stag party take off?
A. Everything but her un-deer-wear.
How do elephants bathe?
With their trunks on.
What do winged horses attend in school? Pegclasses.
What do you call a cat that works at a printing shop?
A copy cat.
The truck load of tortoise that crushed caused a turtle disaster.
The wolf really needed to talk with the skeleton because he had a bone to pick with him.
What did the pastry cook say when he was making the cake?
Bat-a-cake. Bat-a-cake.
I sprayed a mosquito with mosquito repellent.
Now it has no friends.
Have you noticed that most wolf parties begin at around midnight? Well, it is not by coincidence, it is so that they can have a howling good time.
Why don't crabs donate to charity?
They're shellfish penny pinchers.
What do you call a dog who can fight?
A Boxer.
Where do flies go for a holiday?
Flywaii.
What was the snail doing on the highway? About one mile a day!
How did the pony get the bugs away?
It said, horse-shoo fly, don’t bother me.
What do dogs and Santa have in common?
They are both seen Dachshund through the snow.
What did the scientist’s cat say? I think I’ve lost an electron, I’m pawsitive!
What’s happens to the sportiest horse?
It gets to be first horse-pick of the draft.
The hotel said NO DOGS ALLOWED.
I guess it was a little too paw-sh.
I finally found out why flamingos sleep with one leg up! If they had both legs up they would fall over.
Why can a leopard never hide for long? It’s always spotted
Q. What does the alpha gorilla call his first wife?
A. His prime mate.
What does a turtle do during winter? Sit by the fire and worm himself up.
What do crocodiles wear to keep their legs dry in the water?
Gaiters.
What did the deer’s mother say to her daughter on her birthday?
“I remember the day you were fawn!”
Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water?
They set a new lap record.
What do you give a sick pig?
Oinkment.
Why isn't the the koala a real bear? He doesn't have the right koalifications.
Who has large antlers, a high voice and wears white gloves? Mickey Moose!
Q. Why couldn't the gorilla run in the marathon?
A. Because he's not part of the human race!
What do you call an ant who can see into the future?
Clairvoy-ant.
A flamingo only ever asks for a plaster when it hurts its pinky.
I nearly kicked my dog out, but we renegotiated the terms of his leash.
Two snakes parted.
The first one said, “Fangs for the memories”.
Why are there old dinosaur bones in the museum? Because they can't afford new ones!
Q. What did the witch get when she crossed a doe with a tornado?
A. A whirling deer-vish.
What did the squirrel say to its baby before it had to leave?
I'm gonna go out on a limb here.
That raven is so stubborn at times, he just needs to crow up.
What’s the silliest name you can give a tiger?
Spot.
I had to carry a group of crows once.
It was murder on my back!
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