What do you call a snake that is 3.14 meters long?
A pi-thon.
Why do pigs make awful football players?
They don’t like playing with the “pig skin.”
What do you call a flamingo that flew into a wall?
A flamingstop.
What’s a penguin’s favorite salad?
Iceberg lettuce!
How do Japanese chihuahuas say hello?
Konnichihuahua.
A tiger lost a storytelling competition recently as he has only got one tail.
What do you give a panda when it is sick?
Pandadol.
Why does the horse go to school?
It brings her fulfillyment.
What is a koala bear’s favorite line in the movie “The Sixth Sense”? “Aussie dead people.”
What’s the easiest way to catch fish? Have someone throw it at you!
Our lobster neighbors never give us gifts during the holidays!
They’re so shellfish.
What kind of car do bears drive?
Fur-aris.
If I had a talking parrot, the first thing I would teach it to say is "Help, they've turned me into a parrot!"
Never take a flamingo to the local swimming baths. They really don’t like claw-rine.
What did the bunny say to its crush? Hey there hop stuff.
What did the duck who learned physics say?
Quark, quark.
Why can’t you breed a eel with and eagle?
It’s Eeleagle.
What do you call a reptile that works on a farm?
An irri-gator.
Why is the snail the strongest animal? Because he carries a house on his back!
What do you use to brush a dead cat? A catacomb!
What do you call a crocodile that likes to bowl?
An alley-gator!
Cows will never make the police force because they simply refuse to go on steak-outs.
What does a dog love to eat while watching a movie?
Pupcorn.
What do you call a Spanish pig?
Porque.
I asked a pink bird who its favourite artist was. It looked at me strangely and replied “Flamingo Starr, of course.”
What’s black and white and as hard as a rock?
A panda that’s fallen in cement.
What did the river say when it saw beavers for the first time? “Well, I’ll be dammed.”
I went fly-fishing yesterday.
All I caught was two bluebottles.
Why did the mother cow give the sleepy baby cow a hammer?
He wanted her to hit the hay.
I just had a pint of kangaroo beer
It was a bit too hoppy for me
How do you make a glow worm happy? Cut off its tail and it will be de-lighted.
Heard about the devoted beaver who crossed the turbulent river? He took a leap of faith!
What is the best thing to do if you notice a gorilla is sitting at your desk?
Find another place to sit.
How can you tell where the Easter Bunny has been? Eggs mark the spot.
Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea-weed.
What do seals do when they need medical attention?
Sea kelp.
Why are flamingos the happiest birds? They live with no reggrets.
A kid at the spelling bee was asked to spell "inward"
A teacher tackled him after the first G
What do you call an ant with five pairs of eyes?
Ant-ten-eye.
Why are penguins good race drivers?
Because they’re always in the pole position.
What’s the great white shark’s favorite candy?
Jaw-Breakers.
How did the kittens express their love for each other? In Holy Catrimony
Q. What do you get if you cross a devilish deer with an evil cougar?
A. A hell cat.
I have the heart of a lion
And a lifetime ban from the San Diego Zoo.
Why was the Navy Seal sad?
He doesn't like the color blue.
I went drinking with a bunch of kangaroos last night and they didn't buy me one drink all evening..
Talk about short arms long pockets...
What do you get when you mix a sheep and a kangaroo
A wooly jumper
I said some stubtly racist stuff to a magpie
She was a victim of my crow aggressions.
Why did the cow wear a bell around her neck?
Because her horn didn’t work.
Pig always have ink all over their faces because they live in a pen.
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