What are unsolved murders called when it happens in a society of crows? Murder mysteries.
What do you call a gorilla with a million dollars?
A gorillanaire
You have goat to be kidding me.
What do you call a turtle chef?
A slow cooker.
Who would win in a fight between a kangaroo and a zebra?
The zebra. Because he has so many black belts.
What did the lollipop lady say to the zebra crossing?
'You're stripping me of a job.'
What noise does a gorilla’s doorbell make?
King Kong
What did the dog say when he sat down on sand paper?
Rough.
Why was the dog such a good storyteller?
Because he knew how to paws for dramatic effect.
What do llamas always say when they introduce themselves?
“Fleeced to meet you.”
Why couldn’t the dog fit in his clothes?
He was a little husky
What’s an alligator’s favorite dip?
Croc-amole.
Why did the gorilla cross the road? He had to take care of some monkey business.
My son asked me, "Daddy, why do bees stay in the hive in the winter?" I smiled and answered...
"Swarm."
My wife and I went to a turtle pun class yesterday.
It tortoise nothing.
What's more amazing than a talking bat? A spelling bee!
What was Muhammad Ali’s favorite breed of dog?
A boxer.
What’s a horse’s favorite sport?
Saddleball.
Why did the tiger eat the tightrope walker?
It wanted a balanced diet.
What does a twelve-pound mouse say to a cat? 'Here Kitty, kitty, kitty'!
My dog wants to be a tradesman.
I think he wants to be a woof-er.
What did the owl say to the judge?
I’m talon you, it wasn’t me.
Why are goldfish orange?
The water makes them rusty.
Q. Why are big gorilla turds always so stinking tired?
A. Because they're all pooped out!
Why was the scarecrow upset with the worm?
It was going ear to ear in the corn field!
Why did the elephant start the stampede?
Because it wanted to be herd.
What was the first car Henry Fordasaurus invented? A Model T-Rex.
Where does a bee use the bathroom?
BP
What fish are at the zoo?
Lion fish!
Where do horses get their weaves from?
Mane.
What do you get when you cross a snake and a plane?
A Boeing constrictor.
What did one crow say to the other after the party?
We were raven.
Do you know where you take a sick squid?
To the doctopus.
Did you hear about the doctor who was practicing bee venom therapy without a license?
He was arrested in a sting operation.
Where did the deer go to fix its tail?
The re-tail shop.
Why are goats from France musical?
Because they have French horns.
A local farmer has trained his pigs to perform ballet.
I’m going to see their production of swine lake.
Sometime flamingos get fixated on one thing, and it can be hard to get them to see things from another pers-peck-tive.
How can you tell which end of a worm is which?
Tickle it in the middle and see which end laughs!
What happened when the bear applied at the movie theater?
He was told he was not koala-fied.
Heard about the devoted beaver who crossed the turbulent river? He took a leap of faith!
Which day of the week do chickens hate most?
Fry-Day.
How do bats line up in school?
In alpha-bat-ical order.
If there's a bee in my hand, then what's in my eye?
Beauty.
Beauty is in the eye of the bee holder.
What do you call a parrot without feathers? Bald!
My friend uses a white crow to protect his farm from other crows
He calls it a rarecrow
Why can’t you trust snakes?
They speak with forked tongues.
What did the llama say to the grass?
“Nice gnawing you!”
There was a flamingo in our garden for such a long time, we started calling it a flaminstay.
My pink bird friend got dumped a while ago. He was sad for a while, but now he’s singe and ready to flamingle.
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