Tigers are bad at basketball because they have only four feet.
What do cats eat on hot days?
Mice cream.
Got a pet zebra, didn’t realise how hungry they are. He eats like a horse.
What is serial killer Buffalo Bill's favorite fast food restaurant?
Chick Fillet.
Who gives sharks presents on Christmas?
Santa Jaws.
What is gray, hairy and lives on a mans face?
A mouse-tache!
You must be the Easter Bunny, because you’ve got me all egg-cited.
What do you call an alligator that has all the other gators at the swamp crown around him?
A congregator.
How did the dinosaur feel after he ate a pillow? Down in the mouth!
What’s worse than one crocodile coming to dinner?
Two crocodiles coming to dinner.
What’s the difference between a marine biologist and a dog?
One tags a whale, the other wags a tail.
What do you get when you put a bomb in a dinosaur? Dino-mite.
Have you ever wondered which part of the flamingo has the most feathers? I found out once – turns out it’s the outside.
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
How do pigs get to the hospital?
In ham-bulances.
Why wasn’t the dog a smooth talker?
Because he couldn’t stop saying “ruff ruff”.
I told my wife that I saw a sheep pondering its place in the world.
She asked me, “Can ewe even imagine?”
How many dinosaurs can fit in an empty box ? One . After that, the box isn't empty anymore!
If there were ten cats in a boat and one jumped out, how many would be left? None, because they were all copycats!
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
What’s a whale’s favorite movie?
The Humpback Of Notre Dame.
What does a chocolate crow say? “Cacao!”
Why did the sailor throw a penny into the whale’s mouth?
The sailor thought he was was a wishing whale!
I used to own a raven. It could speak English, but the only word it could speak was "car".
Why did the chicken go to KFC?
He wanted to see a chicken strip.
What do you call an alligator who is wearing crocs on his feet?
A traitor.
There’s a new dish out; it’s a cross between a cake and a bird. They call it a Flan-ingo.
Why don’t tigers like fast food?
Because they can’t catch it!
Why did the farmer feed money to his cow?
He wanted rich milk.
Two snakes parted.
The first one said, “Fangs for the memories”.
How do gorillas get down the stairs? They slide down the banana-ster!
What did the rabbit say to its wife? No bunny compares to you.
What do you call a spider with ten eyes?
A spiiiiiiiiiider.
How do you catch a rich squirrel?
Climb a tree and act like a cashew.
What did the confused cat say? I’m purr-plexed!
I love walking my neighbor’s dog. It’s the leashed I can do.
Where did Noah keep his bees? In his archive.
Why are bunnies always tired in April? Because they just finished a March.
What’s a goat’s favorite TV show?
America’s Goat Talent.
What do you name a synthetic parrot?
PollyEster
What do you give a sick penguin?
Tweetment.
What did the fawn who wanted to be a child forever say?
“I don’t want to doe up!”
What kind of music do sophisticated frogs listen to?
Hopera.
My dog has expensive taste in shoes.
So I got her some Jimmy Chews.
How do fish go into business?
The start on a small scale.
What type of cats usually purr the best? Purr-sians!
What is a Leatherback Sea Turtles favorite sandwich?
Peanut butter and jellyfish.
Why did the firefighters bring a dog along with them?
To help them find the nearest fire hydrant.
Why are cats bad at telling stories? Because they only have one tail!
What do you get when you cross a fawn with a bumblebee?
Bambee.
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