What kind of bee makes milk?
A Boobie!
What did the deer say when he left the barbershop?
“I feel like a million bucks!”
The Secret Service surround the President with twelve cows because they were attempting to beef up their security.
Why did the T-Rex cross the road?
Because the chicken hadn’t evolved yet.
A spider, a snake, and a kangaroo walk into a bar…
It’s a normal day in Australia.
Local restaurant has kangaroo loin and it’s actually pretty good
It’s been awhile since I had it, but I remember it being a little jumpy and has a kick.
What do you call a 100 year old ant?
An ant-ique.
The expensive dog has gone missing.
However, police are saying that at least they have a lead. Once she is found they will Retriever.
What’s the difference between hot potato and a flying pig? One’s a heated yam, and the other is a yeeted ham.
Someone told me that it takes 5 sheep to make a sweater.
I didn't know they could knit!
Why does the paparazzi beaver have a camera pointing towards the river? To keep up with current events and give main-stream updates.
How does a Pegasus ask her boyfriend to propose?
She says “You’ve got to put a wing on it.”
What dinosaur is always sad? Cryalotosaurus
What does a giant Tyrannosaurus eat? Anything she wants!
I wanted to catch a squirrel but I didn't know how.
So I decided to climb a tree and act like a nut.
What do you call a horse running on a table?
A counter canter.
What do dehydrated alligators drink?
Gatorade.
I thought swimming with the dolphins was expensive, but swimming with the sharks cost me an arm and a leg!
Why did the deer get braces?
He had buck teeth.
It’s easy to spot a sad flamingo. They get really blue.
Why do seals swim in salt water ?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze.
What do you call an turkey with a carrot in each ear? Anything you want as he can't hear you!
How does a shark greet a fish?
Pleased to eat you.
What do koalas do when they see social injustice happening in the world? They fight for ekoalaty!
What did the deer say to her daughter?
“Soon you’ll be all doe-n up!”
Why do fish swim in schools?
Because they can't walk.
What do you call someone who loves dogs?
A pug addict.
The hotel said NO DOGS ALLOWED.
I guess it was a little too paw-sh.
Where do bad beavers go?
They're dammed to hell.
The scare crow was out standing in his field, so he got awarded as the best employee of the year.
You have goat to be kidding me.
Some pink birds can be really rude. I approached a group of them the other day and they screamed “Flamingo away!”
Which side of a koala bear has the most fur? The outside!
What do you call a stampeding herd of llamas?
The alpacalypse.
Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?
Because then the kids have to play indoors.
How can you tell which end of a worm is which?
Tickle it in the middle and see which end laughs!
How many worms does it take to eat a zombie?
It depends on the size of the zombie!
Why was the pig a pathological liar? It’s a porcine-ality disorder.
What kind of car does Yogi bear drive?
A Furrari.
How do crabs evade taxes?
They set up shell corporations.
That dog is so beautiful. She should be on the cover of Vanity Fur.
What did the deer say when she wanted to be left alone?
“Doe away!”
What do you call a happy rabbit? An Hop-timist.
What do you call an illegally parked frog?
Toad.
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
What does pooh eat at parties?
Blue bear-y pie.
Why don't gorillas vote?
They're ape-political.
What goes black, white, black, white, black, white?
A panda rolling down a hill.
Q. Why was the lady baboon so atrracted to the big gorilla?
A. 'Cause he had s*x ape-peal.
Did you get to hear his new collection of wolf puns? They are howl-arious, absolutely rib cracking.
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