I saw a squirrel throw up today! It was nuts!
What do you call a holy squirrel?
A chipmunk.
What is the difference between a dirty bus stop, and a crab with breast implants?
Ones a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean!
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite season?
Spring.
What side does the zebra have the most stripes on?
The outside.
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs
What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse? Kitty Perry
What did the Easter bunny say to the carrot?It’s been nice gnawing you.
What do you get if you cross a parrot with a woodpecker?
A bird that talks in morse code!
A priest is the best catch for a tiger as they like to prey.
What do you call a Tyrannosaurus under stress?
A nervous rex.
What do crows read? Cawmics.
What do you call a cat teacher? A purr-fessor
I want to start a deer breeding business…
But first, I’m gonna need about 5,000 bucks.
What is gray, hairy and lives on a mans face? A mouse-tache!
I went to the zoo today....
only to find out that some aquatic mammals had escaped.
It was otter chaos.
Why couldn't the squirrel eat the macadamia nut?
It was one tough nut to crack.
Where do bats keep their money? The blood bank!
Why should you never throw a snake like a boomerang?
Because it’ll come back to bite you.
What animal jumps when it walks and sits when it stands?
A kangaroo.
A lobster's favorite shot in tennis?
The lob.
What do you call a group of whale musicians?
An orca-stra.
Why did the man wear a rabbit as a hat? He didn’t want anyone to harm a Hare on his head!
Q. What do you call the stench that comes from antlered roadkill?
A. A foul o-deer.
What kind of key has no lock?
A turkey.
Why is it a bad idea to get in a fight with a monkey?
Because they use gorilla warfare.
What kind of sharks make good carpenters?
Hammerheads.
What do you get if you cross a bag of snakes and a cupboard of food?
Snakes and Larders.
Who has better beer: Rabbits or Kangaroos?
Kanagaroos. While they both do great with the hops, Kangaroos just have a little more kick!
What did the Clydesdale use to deal cards at the casino?
A horse-shoe.
There was a flamingo in our garden for such a long time, we started calling it a flaminstay.
What do horses use to eat?
Breastplates.
What do you call a T-Rex that gets into a fight with the Indominus Rex? Dino-sore.
How do mares keep track of their boyfriends?
A stud book.
What do you get if you cross a snake and a pig?
A boar constrictor.
I thought of premeditated murder and a flash mob of crows came to my mind.
What do sloths make when it snows? Slow Angels.
Why did the magician have to cancel his show? Because he just washed his hare and couldn’t do a thing with it.
What is the difference between a deer nut and a beer nut?
“A beer nut is often more than a buck but a deer nut is always under a buck.”
What do you call a fly with no Wings?
A walk.
Where do the monkeys melt their cheese?
Under the gorilla.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
What does the Pope eat during Lent?
Holy mackerel.
Why do you bring fish to a party?
You bring fish to a party because they go well with chips!
Q: What does a tiger call an antelope?
A: Fast food.
Why did the cat run away from the tree? Because of its bark!
I was milking a cow and a fly flew in its ear.
I thought, that’s weird, I just kept milking. A while later, the same fly showed up in the milk bucket. I guess that’s what they say: in one ear, out the udder.
What is a koala’s favorite pop singer? Koala Rae Jepsen. Her most popular song? “Koala Me Maybe”.
What does a English turkey say to another English turkey on Thanksgiving morning? "Excuse Me... ahem... To be or not to be roasted, that is the question!"
What do you call a wasp who is having a bad hair day?
A frizz-bee
How did the rabbit become a wrestling champion? It had a lot of hare pins!
Go to BabaMail
