What’s black and white and very noisy?
A panda with a set of drums.
How do pigs write top secret messages?
With invisible oink!
How do winged horses walk if they become pirates?
Peg-asus legs.
Why isn't the the koala a real bear? He doesn't have the right koalifications.
The builder beaver decided to launch a new liquid dam-building product, but the market was too saturated.
Why did the Koala cross the road? To prove to the possum that it could be done!
What do you call memory loss in a parrot?
Polynesia
What do you call a well-balanced horse?
Stable.
Who was the criminal crow running from? The cawps.
What is in the middle of dinosaurs ? The letter "s"!
What did the Mountain lion say to the bathroom attendant?
Out of the way, I’m about to Puma pants!
What do you get when you cross a giraffe and a pig?
Bacon and legs.
According to pig etiquette, piglets are meant to be porcine and not heard.
We were all sturtled by the incoming news.
Who does a fish call when his piano breaks?
The piano tuna!
Why did the farmer feed money to his cow?
He wanted rich milk.
Q. Why are big gorilla turds always so stinking tired?
A. Because they're all pooped out!
What do dogs eat for breakfast?
Pooched eggs.
Why should you be careful not to insult a crocodile?
It may come back to bite you in the butt.
Why was the little bear so spoiled?
Because its mother panda’d to its every whim!
How many dinosaurs can fit in an empty box ? One . After that, the box isn't empty anymore!
What do tigers sing at Christmas?
Jungle bells! Jungle bells!
Did you hear about the owl who married a goat?
The had a hootenanny.
What did the mom say to her kitten when she caught him slouching? Paw attention to your paw-sture!
What eats laptops? Computer worms.
How did the tigers greet the other animals in the jungle? "Hey! Pleased to eat you."
What do you call a funny snake?
Hissssssterical.
What did the weather reporter say to his wife?
“I hope it doesn’t rain, deer!”
What did the gorilla say after spending one month at te gym?
Geez, gain a little muscle mass, and everybody acuses you of steroids. As if eating too many bananas wasn't dopey enough!
The only difference between pea soup and roast beef is anyone can roast beef.
Why did the otter cross the river?
To get to the otter side
Why was the Navy Seal sad?
He doesn't like the color blue.
Did you hear about the gorilla with a screw loose?
He needed to use a money wrench to tighten it.
Let's play some scrabble, I just need to get the croc-a-tiles.
A bunch of crows ganged up and killed a chicken.
It was a murder most fowl.
How do you make a dinosaur float? Put a scoop of ice cream in a glass of root beer, and add one dinosaur.
What do you call a stoned, dyslexic crow?
A hybrid
A teacher asks the class to name six mammals that you might find in Africa. One of the pupils replies, “five zebras and a lion”.
What do you get if cross a science fiction film with a toad?
Star Warts.
Why don’t rabbits get hot in the summertime? They have hare conditioning!
Why did the dolphin blush?
Because it saw the ocean’s bottom!
Why was the actress scared of the deer?
She had stag fright.
What’s the coldest fish in the sea?
A blue whale!
Did you know that camels can last longer without water than se*?
They can go three weeks without water, but can't go a day without a hump.
What’s the name of the rabbit who stole from the rich and gave to the poor? Rabbit Hood.
Why was the picture of the dog sent to jail?
Because it was framed.
What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo? Bronco-saurus or a Tyrannasourus Tex
The collective noun for kangaroos is a "troop". What is the collective noun for cars?
A Lot
What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars? Tyrannosaurus wrecks!
What did the pig say to his friend who had been cheated upon?
Please don't go bacon this relationship.
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