Why was the penguin a good race car driver?
He always started in pole position.
How can you tell the difference between an English and French crow?
"PourCUAWWW! PourCUAWWW!"
How do you upset a dinosaur? Touchasaurus Spot.
Who’s the penguin’s favorite Aunt?
Aunt-Arctica.
What happened when the kid got confused with beavers and coypus in the exam? He said, " I otter know better."
What do you call two kangaroos who live together?
Roo-mates.
What dinosaur is always sad? Cryalotosaurus
What do you get when you cross a banker with a fish?
A loan shark
Why did the mouse stay inside? Because it was raining cats and dogs.
Why was the horse sad she didn’t get the job?
She was flanking on it.
What kind of aquatic animal thinks you did a good job?
The seal of approval.
I really like the Lion King
and every day the urge to sing one of the songs is just a whim away, a whim away, a whim away.
What kind of gang violence is common among owls?
A drive by hooting.
Q: Why are tigers religious?
A: Because they prey frequently, and prey as a family!
Sheep jokes are bad.
Really baaaaaaa-d.
What did the horse say to his friend that didn’t come party last night?
You didn’t turnout.
Some see a puddle of mosquito larva.
I see a pool of enbitenment.
Q: What does a tiger call an antelope?
A: Fast food.
I am an introvert, but you know how to bring me out of my shell.
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
Some pink birds can be really rude. I approached a group of them the other day and they screamed “Flamingo away!”
All the girls I meet keep thinking I’m a sheep.
Every time they see me they say “Ewe”
Did you hear about the gorilla with a screw loose?
He needed to use a money wrench to tighten it.
Where do beavers sleep? They sleep on a river bed.
It’s raining cats and dogs today - I just hope it doesn’t rain deer!
What did the dinosaur say when he saw the volcano explode? What a lavaly day!
Why do bears have sticky fur?
Because they use honey combs.
Flamingo parents are really cute with their babies. You should see them playing Beak a Boo.
I hate getting into arguments with farmers about the best methods for keeping crows away.
They always resort to straw man arguments.
What is smarter than a talking cat? A spelling bee.
The turkey says, "gobble, gobble."
I appreciate it when food comes with instructions.
No one really enjoys crying wolf. However, the boy did cry just to get a howling experience.
Where do kittens learn to move around? On the catwalk
If I ever find out the name of the surgeon who messed up my limb transplant, I’ll kill him…
With my bear hands.
Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because the chicken joke wasn't invented yet.
What is a dog’s favorite vegetable? A collie flower.
What Do You Call Two Ducks And A Cow?
Quakers and milk.
What happened when 100 hares got loose on Main Street? The police had to comb the area.
What is a deer’s favorite place to get breakfast?
Dunkin’ Doe-nuts!
The farmer cried wolf when all his three pigs were mauled by the jungle wolf.
Why was the deer a good driver? He was great at using the deering wheel!
Why was the Whale bank heist so successful?
Because it was a whale orca-strated plan
What do you get when you cross a giraffe and a pig?
Bacon and legs.
What are pigs celebrating when they celebrate their birthday? The day they were boar-n.
Why do dogs run in circles?
Because it’s hard to run in a square.
How do snails get their shells so shiny? They use snail varnish!
I saw a pig with laryngitis.
He was disgruntled.
Why don’t elephants use computers?
Because they’re afraid of the mouse.
What do you use to get paint off a snake?
Serpentine.
What’s a rabbit’s favorite game? Hopscotch!
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