My wife has been giving me a hard time about my drinking. Eventually, I agreed to quit cold turkey.
Never cared for leftovers anyway.
What was the turkey suspected of? Fowl play.
Why did the turkey sit on the tomahawk? To hatchet.
What does Miley Cyrus eat at Christmas? Twerk-ey!
Why did the turkey cross the road? It was the chicken's day off!
What do you get when you cross a turkey with a banjo? A turkey that can pluck itself!
What did the turkey say to the man who tried to shoot it? Liberty, Equality and Bad aim for all.
Why was the UN concerned when the waiter dropped Thanksgiving dinner?
Because it meant the fall of turkey, the ruin of grease, and the breakup of china.
Why did Jesus ask Judas to crave the turkey?
Beause he knows he likes stabbing others in the back.
If you call a large turkey a gobbler what do you call a small one? Goblet.
Why did the cranberries turn red?
They saw the turkey dressing!
What happened when the turkey got into a fight? He got the stuffing knocked out of him!
Who dosent eat on Thanksgiving? A turkey because it is always stuffed.
What sound does a space turkey make? Hubble, Hubble, Hubble!
What did the turkey say before it was roasted? Boy! I'm stuffed!
What did the mama turkey say to her naughty son? If your papa could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!
When is a turkey scary?
When it's a goblin.
Why did the police arrest the turkey? They suspected it of fowl play
What's the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner? The turKEY
What's the best dance to do on Thanksgiving? The turkey trot
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