Why was the UN concerned when the waiter dropped Thanksgiving dinner?
Because it meant the fall of turkey, the ruin of grease, and the breakup of china.
My wife has been giving me a hard time about my drinking. Eventually, I agreed to quit cold turkey.
Never cared for leftovers anyway.
Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove to the possum that it could be done!
Who is not hungry at Thanksgiving? The turkey because he's already stuffed!
Dear Turkey, don't worry... they only love us for our breasts too. Sincerely, all women.
What's more amazing than a talking turkey? A spelling bee!
What happened when the turkey got into a fight? He got the stuffing knocked out of him!
What do you call it when a family passes down a turkey recipe?
Copy and basting.
What did the mama turkey say to her naughty son? If your papa could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!
What does Miley Cyrus eat at Christmas? Twerk-ey!
What do you get when you cross a turkey with an octopus? Enough drumsticks for Thanksgiving.
The turkey says, "gobble, gobble."
I appreciate it when food comes with instructions.
Which side of the turkey has the most feathers? The outside
What do you call a turkey's evil twin?
A Gobblegänger.
What would you get if you crossed a turkey with an evil spirit? A poultrygeist!
What do you call an turkey with a carrot in each ear? Anything you want as he can't hear you!
Coming to Theaters: The thrilling tale of a man who cooked biographical books like turkey on Thanksgiving.
*Baste on a True Story...*
When is a turkey scary?
When it's a goblin.
Why did the turkey NOT cross the road?
To prove that he wasn't chicken.