What did the pig say on the warm summer’s day?
“I’m bacon.”
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing?
“I’m not a people porcine.”
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
What do you call a guinea pig that has become a member of the mafia?
A hamster
What’s the one book all piglets read in grade school? A Series of Un-porcine-ite Events.
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him?
Filthy rich.
One of the punny pig names for a pig that loves Shakespeare is Hamlet.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
What do you have left after a pig eats a watermelon?
Pork rinds.
The sweetest and punny name to call a pig is Mudpie.
Why did it take the teen pig so long to get ready for school in the morning?
She was very piggy when it comes to choosing what to wear!
What did Papa Pig shout at his kids in the car?
“Stop swining! We’re nearly there.”
There was so much crackling on the line, I thought a pig was disturbing the phone.
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong? Mistaken bacon.
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree at me. It was a hambush.
What do you get when you pick a pig’s nose?
Ham boogers.
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree on me.
It was a hambush.
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
How is a pig’s tail like 4 o’clock in the morning? It’s twirly.
If you want to name a smart pig, name him Cunningham.
Q. What do swine use to chat up a date?
A. Pig-Up Lines!
What kind of ice cream do pigs like best?
Hoggin Daz!
How do pigs get to the hospital?
In ham-bulances.
What’s the first line of the pig bible? “In the bacon-ing…”
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table? She was hogging the food.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
Did you hear the horse and the pig are dating?
They’re in a stable relationship.
What do you call a pig that does a lot of charity work?
Philanthropig
How does a 20-something pig hit on someone?
They invite them over to Netflix and swill.
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
What happened when the pig pen broke?
They had to use the pig pencil.
What do you call a Spanish pig?
Porque.
What does a mommy pig say to her piglets at the end of the day? Time to pig up your toys.
What did one pig say to the other?
Let’s be pen pals.
According to pig etiquette, piglets are meant to be porcine and not heard.
Why are pigs awful basketball players?
They hog the ball.
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him? Filthy rich.
What do pigs do on the evening of February 14th?
They have a valenswines dinner.
If your piglet wants to be a wizard, there’s only one alternative: Hogwarts.
What did the pig exclaim when the wolf grabbed its tail?
“That’s the end of me!”
What do you call a pig with skin problems? A wart-hog.
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”.
What kind of work do pigs do after school?
Hamwork.
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Pig…
Pig who?
Pig on someone your own size!
What do you call a pig with three eyes?
A piiig!
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
I entered my pig into a pig race but he pulled a ham string.
What do you call it when a beautiful woman tries to trick you into giving her a pig?
A bae con.
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