What do you call a cold, angry pig? A ham-brr-grr.
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
Why was the pig crying? Because he was boar-ed to tears.
Why couldn’t the pig tie his shoelaces? He was too ham-fisted.
Why was the pig a pathological liar? It’s a porcine-ality disorder.
What kind of work do pigs do after school?
Hamwork.
What advice did the grandpa pig have for his kids?
“Don’t take anything for grunted.”
Why should you never rob a bank with a pig?
They always squeal.
The sweetest and punny name to call a pig is Mudpie.
What’s a pig’s favorite holiday? Ar-boar Day.
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree on me.
It was a hambush.
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
Did you hear about the pig that ran the Post Office?
He was the first Porkmaster General.
What’s the one book all piglets read in grade school? A Series of Un-porcine-ite Events.
If pigs learned to fly, would the price of bacon skyrocket?
skyrocket
Did you hear the horse and the pig are dating?
They’re in a stable relationship.
What do you have left after a pig eats a watermelon?
Pork rinds.
I read a story about pig anatomy.
It was all straightforward until I found a twist in the tale.
What do pig’s use as soap? Hogwash.
I saw a pig with laryngitis.
He was disgruntled.
Why do pigs make awful football players?
They don’t like playing with the “pig skin.”
How do pigs write top secret messages?
With invisible oink!
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
What do you call a Spanish pig?
Porque.
What happened when the pig pen broke?
They had to use the pig pencil.
What do 99 percent of pigs ask for on their hamburgers? Piggles.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus?
A porky-pine.
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Pig…
Pig who?
Pig on someone your own size!
Where do pigs keep their money? Why in the piggy bank, of course.
What do you call a pig who does karate?
A pork chop.
What do you call a pig with skin problems? A wart-hog.
Did you hear about the piglets who wanted to do something special for Mother’s Day?
They threw a sowprize party.
How do you make a pig really happy on his birthday? Throw him a sow-prize party.
What did one pig say to the other?
Let’s be pen pals.
What do you get if you cross a dinosaur with a pig?
Jurassic Pork.
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
How do pigs get to the hospital?
In ham-bulances.
What’s the difference between hot potato and a flying pig? One’s a heated yam, and the other is a yeeted ham.
What does a mommy pig say to her piglets at the end of the day? Time to pig up your toys.
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
What do pigs learn in the army? Ham to ham combat.
What did the pig exclaim when the wolf grabbed its tail?
“That’s the end of me!”
What’s the one way you should never greet a male pig? “Sow, what’s up?”
What happens when you play tug-of-war with a pug?
Pulled pork!
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree at me. It was a hambush.
How can you tell you’re in a pig wine bar? Because everything’s swine.
Pig always have ink all over their faces because they live in a pen.
What do you call a pig that does a lot of charity work?
Philanthropig
What do you call a pig with three eyes?
A piiig!