Why was the piglet whining.
He was boared out of his brains.
Why did it take the teen pig so long to get ready for school in the morning?
She was very piggy when it comes to choosing what to wear!
One of the punny pig names for a pig that loves Shakespeare is Hamlet.
What did the little piglet want from the swine?
A piggyback ride home.
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong?
Mistaken bacon.
When pigs work together, it’s known as collab-boar-ation.
When the pig had a quarrel with his wife, he ended up having a gilt trip.
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
Why should you never rob a bank with a pig?
They always squeal.
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs.
Q. What do swine use to chat up a date?
A. Pig-Up Lines!
What do you call it when a pig loses its memory? Hamnesia.
What do pigs learn in the army? Ham to ham combat.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus?
A porky-pine.
Why did the pig break up with her boyfriend?
Because he was a boar.
What did the pig exclaim when the wolf grabbed its tail?
“That’s the end of me!”
What do you call a pig with a rash? Ham and eczema.
What do you have left after a pig eats a watermelon?
Pork rinds.
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs
Why was the pig given a red card at the football game?
For playing dirty.
What’s the first line of the pig bible? “In the bacon-ing…”
What do you call a pig with no legs?
A groundhog.
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him?
Filthy rich.
What did Papa Pig shout at his kids in the car?
“Stop swining! We’re nearly there.”
What do you call a Spanish pig?
Porque.
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
If pigs learned to fly, would the price of bacon skyrocket?
skyrocket
What does a mommy pig say to her piglets at the end of the day? Time to pig up your toys.
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him? Filthy rich.
How is a pig’s tail like 4 o’clock in the morning? It’s twirly.
Did you hear the horse and the pig are dating?
They’re in a stable relationship.
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree on me.
It was a hambush.
How do pigs get to the hospital?
In ham-bulances.
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
What do you call an imaginary pig? A pig-ment of your imagination.
What do you get when you pick a pig’s nose?
Ham boogers.
Why was the pig a pathological liar? It’s a porcine-ality disorder.
What kind of work do pigs do after school?
Hamwork.
What do you call a guinea pig that has become a member of the mafia?
A hamster
A local farmer has trained his pigs to perform ballet.
I’m going to see their production of swine lake.
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Pig…
Pig who?
Pig on someone your own size!
What happens when you play tug-of-war with a pug?
Pulled pork!
How do pigs greet their family and friends?
With hogs and kisses.
What do you call a glass of alcoholic pig’s blood? Swine.
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing?
“I’m not a people porcine.”
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
What do the lady pigs say when someone leaves the toilet seat up? “Hoof-orgot to put the seat down?"
What’s the one book all piglets read in grade school? A Series of Un-porcine-ite Events.
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