According to pig etiquette, piglets are meant to be porcine and not heard.
What do you call a pig that drives around recklessly?
A road hog.
What do you get when you cross a pig and superman?
The Man of Squeal.
What did Mama pig ask her kids every day after school?
“Hoofeels hungry?”
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing? “I’m not a people porcine.”
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
Why did the pig get fired? Insu-boar-dination.
What’s a pig’s favorite color? Ma-hog-any.
In the 5th month of every year, my aunt lets her pigs in the field…
It’s mayham!
Did you hear the horse and the pig are dating?
They’re in a stable relationship.
How can you tell you’re in a pig wine bar? Because everything’s swine.
Did you hear about the pig that ran the Post Office?
He was the first Porkmaster General.
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him?
Filthy rich.
How do you make a pig really happy on his birthday? Throw him a sow-prize party.
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table?
She was hogging all the food!
Why should you never share a bed with a pig? They hog all the covers.
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
What do you call a guinea pig that has become a member of the mafia?
A hamster
What do you call a pig with three eyes?
A piiig!
Why are pigs awful basketball players?
They hog the ball.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus?
A porky-pine.
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
What do you give a sick pig?
Oinkment.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a tortoise?
A slow-pork.
What did one pig say to the other?
Let’s be pen pals.
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
What did the pig say to his friend who had been cheated upon?
Please don't go bacon this relationship.
What do the lady pigs say when someone leaves the toilet seat up? “Hoof-orgot to put the seat down?"
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
What did the little piglet want from the swine?
A piggyback ride home.
What happened when the pig pen broke?
They had to use the pig pencil.
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing?
“I’m not a people porcine.”
What do you call a pig that does a lot of charity work?
Philanthropig
Did you hear about the piglets who wanted to do something special for Mother’s Day?
They threw a sowprize party.
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong?
Mistaken bacon.
Why do pigs make awful football players?
They don’t like playing with the “pig skin.”
How is a pig’s tail like 4 o’clock in the morning? It’s twirly.
What happens when you play tug-of-war with a pug?
Pulled pork!
The sweetest and punny name to call a pig is Mudpie.
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
Why was the pig a pathological liar? It’s a porcine-ality disorder.
Why couldn’t the pig tie his shoelaces? He was too ham-fisted.
I entered my pig into a pig race but he pulled a ham string.
What do you call an imaginary pig? A pig-ment of your imagination.
What did the pig say on the warm summer’s day?
“I’m bacon.”
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him? Filthy rich.
What do you call it when a pig loses its memory? Hamnesia.
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