Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
What do you call a pig that does a lot of charity work?
Philanthropig
Did you hear about the piglets who wanted to do something special for Mother’s Day?
They threw a sowprize party.
What do pigs do on the evening of February 14th?
They have a valenswines dinner.
Did you hear the horse and the pig are dating?
They’re in a stable relationship.
Why was the pig given a red card at the football game?
For playing dirty.
Why was the pig crying? Because he was boar-ed to tears.
How do you make a pig really happy on his birthday? Throw him a sow-prize party.
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
Where do pigs keep their money? Why in the piggy bank, of course.
What do you get when you cross a pig with a centipede?
Bacon and Legs.
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
Pig always have ink all over their faces because they live in a pen.
What’s the super-confusing way that pigs say I love you? “I a-boar-you.”
What did the pig exclaim when the wolf grabbed its tail?
“That’s the end of me!”
What do you call a cold, angry pig? A ham-brr-grr.
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him? Filthy rich.
If you want to name a smart pig, name him Cunningham.
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table? She was hogging the food.
What’s the difference between hot potato and a flying pig? One’s a heated yam, and the other is a yeeted ham.
In the 5th month of every year, my aunt lets her pigs in the field…
It’s mayham!
Why did it take the teen pig so long to get ready for school in the morning?
She was very piggy when it comes to choosing what to wear!
What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus?
A porky-pine.
When pigs live high on the hog, they run the risk of going into hock.
What do 99 percent of pigs ask for on their hamburgers? Piggles.
Why did the pig break up with her boyfriend?
Because he was a boar.
There was so much crackling on the line, I thought a pig was disturbing the phone.
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
What do you call a pig with a rash? Ham and eczema.
What kind of work do pigs do after school?
Hamwork.
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
What do you get if you cross a dinosaur with a pig?
Jurassic Pork.
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table?
She was hogging all the food!
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong? Mistaken bacon.
Why are pigs awful basketball players?
They hog the ball.
How is a pig’s tail like 4 o’clock in the morning? It’s twirly.
What do you call a glass of alcoholic pig’s blood? Swine.
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
Did you hear about the pig that ran the Post Office?
He was the first Porkmaster General.
Why couldn’t the pig tie his shoelaces? He was too ham-fisted.
What did Mama pig ask her kids every day after school?
“Hoofeels hungry?”
What’s the first line of the pig bible? “In the bacon-ing…”
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
What happened when the pig pen broke?
They had to use the pig pencil.
Why should you never rob a bank with a pig?
They always squeal.
One of the punny pig names for a pig that loves Shakespeare is Hamlet.
Q. What do swine use to chat up a date?
A. Pig-Up Lines!
How can you tell you’re in a pig wine bar? Because everything’s swine.
What kind of ice cream do pigs like best?
Hoggin Daz!
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