What’s the one way you should never greet a male pig? “Sow, what’s up?”
When the pig had a quarrel with his wife, he ended up having a gilt trip.
Why are pigs awful basketball players?
They hog the ball.
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing? “I’m not a people porcine.”
What does a mommy pig say to her piglets at the end of the day? Time to pig up your toys.
Why did the pig break up with her boyfriend?
Because he was a boar.
If pigs learned to fly, would the price of bacon skyrocket?
skyrocket
When pigs live high on the hog, they run the risk of going into hock.
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
Why was the pig given a red card at the football game?
For playing dirty.
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
What do you get when you pick a pig’s nose?
Ham boogers.
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing?
“I’m not a people porcine.”
What do you call a cold, angry pig? A ham-brr-grr.
What did the little piglet want from the swine?
A piggyback ride home.
What do you call a pig who can’t mind his own business?
A nosey porker!
Why did it take the teen pig so long to get ready for school in the morning?
She was very piggy when it comes to choosing what to wear!
What happens when you play tug-of-war with a pug?
Pulled pork!
Pig always have ink all over their faces because they live in a pen.
Why did the pig get fired? Insu-boar-dination.
I entered my pig into a pig race but he pulled a ham string.
What did the pig say on the warm summer’s day?
“I’m bacon.”
What did one pig say to the other?
Let’s be pen pals.
What did Mama pig ask her kids every day after school?
“Hoofeels hungry?”
What did Papa Pig shout at his kids in the car?
“Stop swining! We’re nearly there.”
What happened when the pig pen broke?
They had to use the pig pencil.
What’s the super-confusing way that pigs say I love you? “I a-boar-you.”
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
What’s the difference between hot potato and a flying pig? One’s a heated yam, and the other is a yeeted ham.
In the 5th month of every year, my aunt lets her pigs in the field…
It’s mayham!
What do you call it when a pig loses its memory? Hamnesia.
What do you call a pig that does a lot of charity work?
Philanthropig
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table? She was hogging the food.
How do pigs write top secret messages?
With invisible oink!
Why was the piglet whining.
He was boared out of his brains.
What do you call it when a beautiful woman tries to trick you into giving her a pig?
A bae con.
What do you call a pig with skin problems? A wart-hog.
How can you tell you’re in a pig wine bar? Because everything’s swine.
A local farmer has trained his pigs to perform ballet.
I’m going to see their production of swine lake.
What do you call a pig that drives around recklessly?
A road hog.
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
What do pigs learn in the army? Ham to ham combat.
What do you call a guinea pig that has become a member of the mafia?
A hamster
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs
What do you get when you cross a pig with a centipede?
Bacon and Legs.
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