What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
How do pigs get to the hospital?
In ham-bulances.
What do you get if you cross a dinosaur with a pig?
Jurassic Pork.
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Pig…
Pig who?
Pig on someone your own size!
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
What do you call an imaginary pig? A pig-ment of your imagination.
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”.
What did Mama pig ask her kids every day after school?
“Hoofeels hungry?”
I entered my pig into a pig race but he pulled a ham string.
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him? Filthy rich.
What did the pig say on the warm summer’s day?
“I’m bacon.”
Why did the pig break up with her boyfriend?
Because he was a boar.
What’s the super-confusing way that pigs say I love you? “I a-boar-you.”
If you want to name a smart pig, name him Cunningham.
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table?
She was hogging all the food!
According to pig etiquette, piglets are meant to be porcine and not heard.
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong?
Mistaken bacon.
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing?
“I’m not a people porcine.”
Why was the pig crying? Because he was boar-ed to tears.
What kind of work do pigs do after school?
Hamwork.
What’s the difference between hot potato and a flying pig? One’s a heated yam, and the other is a yeeted ham.
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs.
What happens when you play tug-of-war with a pug?
Pulled pork!
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
I saw a pig with laryngitis.
He was disgruntled.
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table? She was hogging the food.
How is a pig’s tail like 4 o’clock in the morning? It’s twirly.
Why was the piglet whining.
He was boared out of his brains.
Why should you never rob a bank with a pig?
They always squeal.
When the pig had a quarrel with his wife, he ended up having a gilt trip.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
What do you call a pig that does a lot of charity work?
Philanthropig
What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus?
A porky-pine.
What’s the one book all piglets read in grade school? A Series of Un-porcine-ite Events.
A local farmer has trained his pigs to perform ballet.
I’m going to see their production of swine lake.
What do you call a pig with three eyes?
A piiig!
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
There was so much crackling on the line, I thought a pig was disturbing the phone.
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
The sweetest and punny name to call a pig is Mudpie.
What do you get when you pick a pig’s nose?
Ham boogers.
What do you have left after a pig eats a watermelon?
Pork rinds.
Why should you never share a bed with a pig? They hog all the covers.
Did you hear about the piglets who wanted to do something special for Mother’s Day?
They threw a sowprize party.
What do you call a glass of alcoholic pig’s blood? Swine.
Why was the pig a pathological liar? It’s a porcine-ality disorder.
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
What do you call a pig with no legs?
A groundhog.
Go to BabaMail
