How do penguins make a decision?
Flipper coin.
Which side of a penguin has the most feathers?
The outside.
Why was the penguin so annoying?
Because he was always fishing for complements.
Why did the penguin cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
What did the sea say to the penguin?
Nothing, it just waved.
What did the penguin say after he went shopping?
Put it on my bill.
How does a penguin make pancakes?
With its flippers.
What do you call a happy penguin?
a Pen-Grin!
Why do Penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they haven’t got any pockets.
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice-bergers!
What do Penguins sing on a birthday?
Freeze a jolly good fellow.
Where does a penguin go when it loses its tail?
A re-tail store.
How do Penguins drink their cola?
On the rocks.
What do you call fifty penguins at the North Pole?
Really lost. (Penguins live in the Southern Hemisphere)!
What does an evil penguin lay?
Deviled eggs.
Why don’t penguins fly?
They are not tall enough to be pilots.
What kind of fish do Penguins catch at night?
Starfish.
Who’s the penguin’s favorite Aunt?
Aunt-Arctica.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
To go with the floe!
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers!
What do you get when a penguin lays an egg on a hill?
An eggroll.
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice burg-ers.
Why are penguins good race drivers?
Because they’re always in the pole position!
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets.
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd.
How did the penguin pass his driving test?
He winged it.
What’s a penguin’s favorite salad?
Iceberg lettuce!
Why was the penguin popular?
Because he was an ice guy.
What’s black and white, black and white, and black and white?
A penguin rolling down a hill.
Where do penguins go to dance?
The snow ball!
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps!
What do you call a happy penguin?
A penGRIN.
Where does a 500-pound penguin sit?
Anywhere it wants.
Where does a penguin keep its money?
In a snow bank.
Why was the penguin a good race car driver?
He always started in pole position.
What does a magician penguin say?
“Pick a cod, any cod…”
Where do penguins keep their money?
In a snow bank!
Why are there no penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.
What do penguins drink during the summer?
Iced tea.
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd!
What do you call a cold penguin?
A Brrr-d.
Where do penguins go to the movies?
At the dive-in!
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
Who is a penguin’s favourite family member?
Aunt Artica.
Why are penguins good race drivers?
Because they’re always in the pole position.
What do you call a penguin in the desert?
Lost!
Who is a Penguin’s favorite pop star?
Seal.
Why don’t you see penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.
What do penguins sing at a birthday party?
Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow.
What do you call a penguin in a shell suit?
An egg.