Why didn’t the horse buy a house?
The costs were mounting.
What do you call a horse that lives next door to you?
A neigh-bor.
What kind of car do fancy horses drive?
Mustangs.
What is the coldest type of horse?
A freezian.
Beat funny horse puns
What’s a horse’s favorite makeup brand?
Neighhhbelline.
How does a horse get a suit fitted?
With a tail-or.
What’s a horse’s favorite sport?
Saddleball.
How did the horse get up the stairs?
He mounted them.
What did one horse say to the other after he said he wanted to drop out?
That’s an equestionable decision.
What does a horse call its treats?
My greatest preakness.
Where do the cool horses live?
In rad-docks.
Why does the horse go to school?
It brings her fulfillyment.
What did the horse say when it saw a sheepdog?
“Why is your furlong?”
Where do horses get their weaves from?
Mane.
What do you call a rainbow you ride your horse on?
A rein-bow.
What do horses use to eat?
Breastplates.
Why are horses so good at the shooting range?
They’re hunters.
What does a horse do when it smells rotten seafood?
It scallops outta there.
What do you call a well-balanced horse?
Stable.
How do baby horses get tucked in at night?
They get told a tail.
How do you wash a horse?
On a sponge-line.
What does a horse call her best friend?
Her mane chick.
What does the winged horse do after it goes to the bathroom?
Pegaflushes.
Why did the horse like her new backpack?
The straps were adju-stable.
What does a Clydesdale say when you offer them a carrot?
“Of course, my horse.”
Why do horses make good lawyers?
Attention to de-tail.
What type of car would a regular horse buy?
A Fjord Focus.
Who did the horse ask to be his second wife?
A manewer model.
What did the teenage horse say when her phone broke?
I canter even.
How did the ponies stay in touch?
C-horse-pondence.
What does a workhorse like to drink?
A Moscow Mule.
What’s a horse’s favorite fruit?
Canterlope.
Where do horses get their mane cut?
The hair-dressager.
When do vampires like horse racing?
When it's neck and neck.
Why didn’t the horse tell her friend she was a thief?
She didn’t want to saddle her with that information.
What’s a racehorse’s favorite clothing brand? Jockey.
What's a horse's favorite sport?
Stable tennis.
What natural disaster took out the ancient horses?
A volcanic stirruption.
What did the horse say to his friend that didn’t come party last night?
You didn’t turnout.
What was the horse’s best ballroom dance? The Foxtrot.
Where do horses buy groceries?
Whinny-Dixie.
Why did the horse go to jail?
The prosecutors failed to show the burden of hoof.
How do mares keep track of their boyfriends?
A stud book.
What do you call a horse running on a table?
A counter canter.
What kind of horse would Bilbo Baggins ride?
A shire.
Why did they stop giving the horse grass?
They wanted it to be less green.
What is the lesser-known sport used to measure a horse’s singing ability?
Carol racing.
What would a winged horse play in a band?
The pegabass guitar.
How did the horse break into the mainframe?
It was a hack.
Where do most horses work for their first job?
Re-tail stores.
Why did the pony turn himself in?
He felt rem-horse.
How does a horse make paper mâché?
With newspaper clip-clop-pings.
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