Harambe wasn’t only one of the best gorillas I’ve ever met...
He was also a great ape.
Q. What haapens if a gorilla sits on your piano?
A. You get a flat note.
Q. Why do educated gorillas like the numbers 1, 3, 5, 7, 11 and 13?
A. 'Cause they're prime apes.
Did you hear about the gorilla that was from Vietnam?
He was a viet kong.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite movie?
A. Planet of the Apes.
Why wasn't King Kong able to climb to the top of the Empire State Building?
He couldn't quite fit in the elevator.
Q. What kind of underwear do s*xy gorillas wear?
A. Chim-pant-zies.
Q. Where did the gorilla like to go sailing?
A. The Chimpan-Sea
What’s the first thing a gorilla learns in school? The ape b c’s.
Old gorillas never die, but they do go bananas.
What food did the Gorilla order when he went to France?
Ape Suzettes.
What is most gorillas' favorite book to study in English class at high school?
The Apes Of Wrath.
Q. What do you get if you cross a gorilla with a grizzly bear?
A. Fired from the zoo.
Why do gorillas have really big fingers?
Because they have really big nostrils!
How do you prepare a Gorilla sundae? Your start getting it ready Fridae and Saturdae!
Q. Which kind of ape enjoys smoking tobaco?
A. Cigarilla.
Q. Why did the girl-illa win the beauty contest?
A. She was beast of show!
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
What is a gorillas favourite ice cream flavour.
Chocolate chimp.
What do you call a gorilla with no arms?
An ape-utee
Q. What do you call a gorilla who studies large primates and has great grades?
A. Ape lust student.
What did the Gorilla say to his friend when he called him back on the phone?
You-Rang-a-Tang?
Q. Why did the gorilla go to the barber?
A. He was concerned about his ape-pearance.
Why should you never fight a Gorilla?
They know king kong fu.
Q. How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Two, but it has to be a really BIG light bulb.
What is just as big as a gorilla but literally weighs nothing?
A gorilla's shadow.
Q. What is a gorilla in a wheelchair called?
A. Dis-ape-led.
What do you call a gorilla with a machine gun ?
Whatever it wants to be called.
How do gorillas get down the stairs? They slide down the banana-ster!
What do you call a polyarmourus deceased gorilla?
Harembe.
Why was there a troop of gorillas protesting outside the biscuit factory?
They wanted to stop the production of animal crackers.
What's the best time of year to see gorillas in the wild? Ape-ril.
Q. What happens when a gorilla has a melt down?
A. He goes absolutely bananas!
Where do the monkeys melt their cheese?
Under the gorilla.
What is a gorillas second favourite fruit to eat behind bananas?=
Ape-ricots
Why did the Gorilla fail its exam? He didn't have the ape-titude.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite toy?
A. A bab-boom-orang.
What did the Gorilla say when he saw there was a sale happening?
Ooh! OOh! OOOh!!!!
What do you call a gorilla with a million dollars?
A gorillanaire
Q. What did the Aussie zookeeper say to the gorilla who was spying on him?
A. There's no need to pry, mate.
How did Gertie Gorilla win the beauty contest? She was the beast of the show!
My friend, who's a geneticist and a rapper crossed a gorilla with an orang utan
That's his new mixed ape.
How did the gorilla know she was poorly? She had a belly ape.
How do you tell the difference between a rabbit and a gorilla?
A rabbit looks nothing like a gorilla
Q. What does the alpha gorilla call his first wife?
A. His prime mate.
Q. Why are big gorilla turds always so stinking tired?
A. Because they're all pooped out!
Why did the Buddhist gorilla get locked out of his monastery?
He forgot his monk-key
A gorilla starts off his day by going to his car
When he gets to his car, he notices hes missing something. He walks back in his house, and asks his wife "Have you seen monkeys?"
Q. Why did the gorilla cross the road?
A. To get to the monkey biz on the other side.
What do you call a gorilla stuck in a ventilation shaft
A Duct-ape.
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