Q. Why are big gorilla turds always so stinking tired?
A. Because they're all pooped out!
Q. How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Two, but it has to be a really BIG light bulb.
How do you tell the difference between a rabbit and a gorilla?
A rabbit looks nothing like a gorilla
Q. Which country was founded by wild gorillas?
A. The Banana Republic.
Q. What does the alpha gorilla call his first wife?
A. His prime mate.
Q. Why did the gorilla cross the road?
A. To get to the monkey biz on the other side.
Q. Whay aren't gorillas afraid of zombies?
A. Because the ape-ocalypse doesn't frighten them.
A gorilla starts off his day by going to his car
When he gets to his car, he notices hes missing something. He walks back in his house, and asks his wife "Have you seen monkeys?"
Q. Why was the lady baboon so atrracted to the big gorilla?
A. 'Cause he had s*x ape-peal.
Where do the monkeys melt their cheese?
Under the gorilla.
What is a gorillas favourite ice cream flavour.
Chocolate chimp.
A muslim woman wanted to adopt a gorilla. Her husband wouldn't allow it.
He said, that's haram, bae.
My friend, who's a geneticist and a rapper crossed a gorilla with an orang utan
That's his new mixed ape.
What do you call a gorilla with a machine gun ?
Whatever it wants to be called.
Q. Why was the blonde disappointed after her visit to an apiary?
A. There weren't any gorillas there. DUH!
What do you call a polyarmourus deceased gorilla?
Harembe.
How did the gorilla know she was poorly? She had a belly ape.
Q. Which US city holds the record for suicidal gorillas jumping off skyscrapers?
A. Fall-Adelphia.
Why wasn't King Kong able to climb to the top of the Empire State Building?
He couldn't quite fit in the elevator.
What do you call a large gorilla who appears to be in a bad mood?
Sir.
Q. How do you make a sasquatch, a yeti, or a bigfoot laugh?
A. Tell it a gorilla joke!
What do you call a gorilla with a million dollars?
A gorillanaire
What do gorillas and orangutans wear in the kitchen?
Ape-rons.
Q. Why do educated gorillas like the numbers 1, 3, 5, 7, 11 and 13?
A. 'Cause they're prime apes.
Q. Where do lady gorillas go for a wild weekend night out?
A. Chimpendale's.
What did the Gorilla say when he saw there was a sale happening?
Ooh! OOh! OOOh!!!!
Why was there a troop of gorillas protesting outside the biscuit factory?
They wanted to stop the production of animal crackers.
Have you heard about the gorilla who got a name change?
Peaches the gorilla escaped from the zoo, but when they got him back they had to change it because it turns out he had become an Ape Re-caught.
Why did the gorilla have to visit the vet?
He wasn't peeling well
Q. Where did the gorilla like to go sailing?
A. The Chimpan-Sea
Did you hear about the girl who put gorilla glue in her hair?
Her stupidity knew no bonds
Why do gorillas have really big fingers?
Because they have really big nostrils!
How do gorillas get down the stairs? They slide down the banana-ster!
Q. What kind of underwear do s*xy gorillas wear?
A. Chim-pant-zies.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite holiday?
A. Ape-ril Fools Day!
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
What do you call a gorilla wearing headphones?
Anything you'd like, it can't hear you.
Q. Why doesn't a big gorilla have to flush the toilet?
A. He scares the sh*t out of it!
What do you call a gorilla who has been locked up in prison?
A kong-vict
Why did the Buddhist gorilla get locked out of his monastery?
He forgot his monk-key
I gave my wife that new gorilla glue chapstick...🦍💄
It left her speechless
What do you call a gorilla in a cement-mixer?
King Koncrete.
Q. Which kind of ape enjoys smoking tobaco?
A. Cigarilla.
Q. Where do gorillas get their gossip?
A. From the grapevine.
Where do gorillas keep their beehives?
Apeiaries.
Q. Why couldn't the gorilla run in the marathon?
A. Because he's not part of the human race!
What do you call a gorilla with no arms?
An ape-utee
Why did the advertising tycoons hire a bunch of apes?
They were running a gorilla marketing campaign.
Where do gorillas go to after work?
The monkey bars.
Q. What do they call the gorilla marathon runner who only wins when it's pouring outdoors?
A. The raining chimp-ion.