Q. Why was the lady baboon so atrracted to the big gorilla?
A. 'Cause he had s*x ape-peal.
Q. What does the alpha gorilla call his first wife?
A. His prime mate.
Q. How do you make a sasquatch, a yeti, or a bigfoot laugh?
A. Tell it a gorilla joke!
Q. Why do educated gorillas like the numbers 1, 3, 5, 7, 11 and 13?
A. 'Cause they're prime apes.
Q. What do gorillas and big apes do to make each other laugh?
A. They tell punny jokes about humans!
Q. What do you call gorillaS who just monkey around at the gym?
A. Buff-oons
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite holiday?
A. Ape-ril Fools Day!
Q. Why couldn't the gorilla run in the marathon?
A. Because he's not part of the human race!
How did Gertie Gorilla win the beauty contest? She was the beast of the show!
How do you prepare a Gorilla sundae? Your start getting it ready Fridae and Saturdae!
Where do the monkeys melt their cheese?
Under the gorilla.
What did the Gorilla say to his friend when he called him back on the phone?
You-Rang-a-Tang?
If you were in the jungle, and a gorilla charged you, what should you do?
Pay him.
Which technique does a Gorilla borrow from another animal when it gets romantic? The bear hug!
How do gorillas get down the stairs? They slide down the banana-ster!
What’s a gorilla’s favourite pop group? A: Bananarama!
Why did the Buddhist gorilla get locked out of his monastery?
He forgot his monk-key
Have you heard about the gorilla who got a name change?
Peaches the gorilla escaped from the zoo, but when they got him back they had to change it because it turns out he had become an Ape Re-caught.
What do you call a gorilla in a cement-mixer?
King Koncrete.
What did the Gorilla say when he saw there was a sale happening?
Ooh! OOh! OOOh!!!!
Where do gorillas keep their beehives?
Apeiaries.
My girlfriend and I saw an inflatable gorilla In front of a jacuzzi store
She asked me why they would do that for a jacuzzi store. I told her it was a guerilla tactic. She was not impressed.
My friend, who's a geneticist and a rapper crossed a gorilla with an orang utan
That's his new mixed ape.
Where do gorillas go to after work?
The monkey bars.
A gorilla starts off his day by going to his car
When he gets to his car, he notices hes missing something. He walks back in his house, and asks his wife "Have you seen monkeys?"
What do you call a gorilla with no arms?
An ape-utee
Why did the gorilla cross the road? He had to take care of some monkey business.
What's the best time of year to see gorillas in the wild? Ape-ril.
What did the banana do when it saw a gorilla? The banana split.
What do you call a polyarmourus deceased gorilla?
Harembe.
What noise does a gorilla’s doorbell make?
King Kong
What do you call a gorilla with a million dollars?
A gorillanaire
How did the gorilla know she was poorly? She had a belly ape.
Why did the Gorilla fail its exam? He didn't have the ape-titude.
What’s the first thing a gorilla learns in school? The ape b c’s.
How do you tell the difference between a rabbit and a gorilla?
A rabbit looks nothing like a gorilla
What do you call a gorilla stuck in a ventilation shaft
A Duct-ape.
Ever wonder how gorillas can be so strong when they eat mostly a plant based diet?
Cuz they don't monkey around when it comes to strength training!
What do you call a gorilla wearing headphones?
Anything you'd like, it can't hear you.
Harambe wasn’t only one of the best gorillas I’ve ever met...
He was also a great ape.
What do you call a gorilla with a machine gun ?
Whatever it wants to be called.
Why don't gorillas vote?
They're ape-political.
What do gorillas and orangutans wear in the kitchen?
Ape-rons.
Did you hear about the girl who put gorilla glue in her hair?
Her stupidity knew no bonds
I gave my wife that new gorilla glue chapstick...🦍💄
It left her speechless
Why did the gorilla have to visit the vet?
He wasn't peeling well
What is just as big as a gorilla but literally weighs nothing?
A gorilla's shadow.
Where do apes like to cook their sausages?
On the gorilla.
Why wasn't King Kong able to climb to the top of the Empire State Building?
He couldn't quite fit in the elevator.
Did you hear about the 2 apes that kept fighting with each other?
It was gorilla warfare.