What's the best time of year to see gorillas in the wild? Ape-ril.
My girlfriend and I saw an inflatable gorilla In front of a jacuzzi store
She asked me why they would do that for a jacuzzi store. I told her it was a guerilla tactic. She was not impressed.
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
Q. What do gorillas and big apes do to make each other laugh?
A. They tell punny jokes about humans!
Did you hear about the extremely serious gorilla?
He didn't monkey around.
What is the first thing that gorillas learn at kindergarten?
Apey Cee's?
What do you call a gorilla wearing headphones?
Anything you'd like, it can't hear you.
What do you call a white skinned gorilla?
Honkey Kong.
Q. What did the Aussie zookeeper say to the gorilla who was spying on him?
A. There's no need to pry, mate.
Q. Why was the baby gorilla such a big brat?
A. Because his parents are big apes.
Q. Why doesn't a big gorilla have to flush the toilet?
A. He scares the sh*t out of it!
What do you call a gorilla stuck in a ventilation shaft
A Duct-ape.
What’s a gorilla’s favourite pop group? A: Bananarama!
What is a gorillas second favourite fruit to eat behind bananas?=
Ape-ricots
Q. What do you call a gorilla who studies large primates and has great grades?
A. Ape lust student.
Old gorillas never die, but they do go bananas.
Why did the advertising tycoons hire a bunch of apes?
They were running a gorilla marketing campaign.
Q. What does the alpha gorilla call his first wife?
A. His prime mate.
Q. What do you call an entertaining gorilla eating a banana?
A. Ape peeling.
Q. Which kind of ape enjoys smoking tobaco?
A. Cigarilla.
Q. Why was the lady baboon so atrracted to the big gorilla?
A. 'Cause he had s*x ape-peal.
Q. What do you get if you cross a gorilla with a grizzly bear?
A. Fired from the zoo.
Q. Where do gorillas get their gossip?
A. From the grapevine.
Why did the gorilla cross the road? He had to take care of some monkey business.
Q. Why was the gorilla's jungle party so lame?
A. Because theyran out of chimps and dip.
I gave my wife that new gorilla glue chapstick...🦍💄
It left her speechless
Q. What haapens if a gorilla sits on your piano?
A. You get a flat note.
Q. Which book makes virgin gorillas blush?
A. The Naked Ape.
Why wasn't King Kong able to climb to the top of the Empire State Building?
He couldn't quite fit in the elevator.
Q. What do you call gorillaS who just monkey around at the gym?
A. Buff-oons
Did you hear about the gorilla with a screw loose?
He needed to use a money wrench to tighten it.
A muslim woman wanted to adopt a gorilla. Her husband wouldn't allow it.
He said, that's haram, bae.
Q. Why couldn't the gorilla run in the marathon?
A. Because he's not part of the human race!
How did the gorilla know she was poorly? She had a belly ape.
What do you call a large gorilla who appears to be in a bad mood?
Sir.
Q. What do they call the gorilla marathon runner who only wins when it's pouring outdoors?
A. The raining chimp-ion.
What did the gorilla wear when he was cooking in the kitchen?
An ape-ron
Q. Whay aren't gorillas afraid of zombies?
A. Because the ape-ocalypse doesn't frighten them.
Why do gorillas have really big fingers?
Because they have really big nostrils!
Q. Why was the blonde disappointed after her visit to an apiary?
A. There weren't any gorillas there. DUH!
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite movie?
A. Planet of the Apes.
Did you hear about the girl who put gorilla glue in her hair?
Her stupidity knew no bonds
What do you call a gorilla with a machine gun ?
Whatever it wants to be called.
Why did the Gorilla fail its exam? He didn't have the ape-titude.
Q. How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Two, but it has to be a really BIG light bulb.
My friend, who's a geneticist and a rapper crossed a gorilla with an orang utan
That's his new mixed ape.
What do you call a gorilla who has been locked up in prison?
A kong-vict
What did the Gorilla say to his friend when he called him back on the phone?
You-Rang-a-Tang?
What is most gorillas' favorite book to study in English class at high school?
The Apes Of Wrath.
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