Why did the advertising tycoons hire a bunch of apes?
They were running a gorilla marketing campaign.
What did the Gorilla say when he saw there was a sale happening?
Ooh! OOh! OOOh!!!!
What noise does a gorilla’s doorbell make?
King Kong
Q. What happens when a gorilla has a melt down?
A. He goes absolutely bananas!
Q. Why doesn't a big gorilla have to flush the toilet?
A. He scares the sh*t out of it!
Q. Which kind of ape enjoys smoking tobaco?
A. Cigarilla.
Why don't gorillas vote?
They're ape-political.
Why did the gorilla cross the road? He had to take care of some monkey business.
What do you call a gorilla with no arms?
An ape-utee
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite holiday?
A. Ape-ril Fools Day!
What do you call a gorilla with a million dollars?
A gorillanaire
How did Gertie Gorilla win the beauty contest? She was the beast of the show!
Why should you never fight a Gorilla?
They know king kong fu.
Old gorillas never die, but they do go bananas.
Q. Which book makes virgin gorillas blush?
A. The Naked Ape.
What do you call a large gorilla who appears to be in a bad mood?
Sir.
Q. What does the alpha gorilla call his first wife?
A. His prime mate.
Q. Why was the lady baboon so atrracted to the big gorilla?
A. 'Cause he had s*x ape-peal.
What do you call a white skinned gorilla?
Honkey Kong.
Did you hear about the 2 apes that kept fighting with each other?
It was gorilla warfare.
Q. What do you call gorillaS who just monkey around at the gym?
A. Buff-oons
Q. Why did the gorilla cross the road?
A. To get to the monkey biz on the other side.
What did the gorilla wear when he was cooking in the kitchen?
An ape-ron
What's the best time of year to see gorillas in the wild? Ape-ril.
Have you heard about the gorilla who got a name change?
Peaches the gorilla escaped from the zoo, but when they got him back they had to change it because it turns out he had become an Ape Re-caught.
A muslim woman wanted to adopt a gorilla. Her husband wouldn't allow it.
He said, that's haram, bae.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite toy?
A. A bab-boom-orang.
My girlfriend and I saw an inflatable gorilla In front of a jacuzzi store
She asked me why they would do that for a jacuzzi store. I told her it was a guerilla tactic. She was not impressed.
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
What do you call a gorilla wearing headphones?
Anything you'd like, it can't hear you.
Which technique does a Gorilla borrow from another animal when it gets romantic? The bear hug!
Q. Why was the gorilla's jungle party so lame?
A. Because theyran out of chimps and dip.
What do you get if you cross a talking parrot with a gorilla?
I am not sure but if he says something you better damn well listen.
What do you call a gorilla with a machine gun ?
Whatever it wants to be called.
What did the Gorilla say to his friend when he called him back on the phone?
You-Rang-a-Tang?
Where do apes like to cook their sausages?
On the gorilla.
Q. Where do gorillas get their gossip?
A. From the grapevine.
Q. What haapens if a gorilla sits on your piano?
A. You get a flat note.
A gorilla starts off his day by going to his car
When he gets to his car, he notices hes missing something. He walks back in his house, and asks his wife "Have you seen monkeys?"
What did the banana do when it saw a gorilla? The banana split.
Did you hear about the extremely serious gorilla?
He didn't monkey around.
Why was there a troop of gorillas protesting outside the biscuit factory?
They wanted to stop the production of animal crackers.
Ever wonder how gorillas can be so strong when they eat mostly a plant based diet?
Cuz they don't monkey around when it comes to strength training!
Harambe wasn’t only one of the best gorillas I’ve ever met...
He was also a great ape.
I gave my wife that new gorilla glue chapstick...🦍💄
It left her speechless
What’s the first thing a gorilla learns in school? The ape b c’s.
Where do gorillas go to after work?
The monkey bars.
Q. Why couldn't the gorilla run in the marathon?
A. Because he's not part of the human race!
How do you tell the difference between a rabbit and a gorilla?
A rabbit looks nothing like a gorilla
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