How do gorillas get down the stairs? They slide down the banana-ster!
What did the gorilla say after spending one month at te gym?
Geez, gain a little muscle mass, and everybody acuses you of steroids. As if eating too many bananas wasn't dopey enough!
What’s the first thing a gorilla learns in school? The ape b c’s.
Where do gorillas go to after work?
The monkey bars.
Q. Why did the gorilla cross the road?
A. To get to the monkey biz on the other side.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite holiday?
A. Ape-ril Fools Day!
Why did the advertising tycoons hire a bunch of apes?
They were running a gorilla marketing campaign.
Q. Which book makes virgin gorillas blush?
A. The Naked Ape.
What do you get if you cross a talking parrot with a gorilla?
I am not sure but if he says something you better damn well listen.
Harambe wasn’t only one of the best gorillas I’ve ever met...
He was also a great ape.
Did you hear about the 2 apes that kept fighting with each other?
It was gorilla warfare.
What do gorillas and orangutans wear in the kitchen?
Ape-rons.
Why did the Gorilla fail its exam? He didn't have the ape-titude.
Q. What is a gorilla in a wheelchair called?
A. Dis-ape-led.
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
Q. What do gorillas and big apes do to make each other laugh?
A. They tell punny jokes about humans!
Q. Which country was founded by wild gorillas?
A. The Banana Republic.
What do you call a large gorilla who appears to be in a bad mood?
Sir.
Q. Why was the baby gorilla such a big brat?
A. Because his parents are big apes.
A muslim woman wanted to adopt a gorilla. Her husband wouldn't allow it.
He said, that's haram, bae.
Why did the gorilla cross the road? He had to take care of some monkey business.
What do you call a gorilla wearing headphones?
Anything you'd like, it can't hear you.
Where do the monkeys melt their cheese?
Under the gorilla.
Q. Why do educated gorillas like the numbers 1, 3, 5, 7, 11 and 13?
A. 'Cause they're prime apes.
What do you call a polyarmourus deceased gorilla?
Harembe.
Where do gorillas keep their beehives?
Apeiaries.
What do you call a gorilla in a cement-mixer?
King Koncrete.
Old gorillas never die, but they do go bananas.
Q. Where did the gorilla like to go sailing?
A. The Chimpan-Sea
Q. Why was the lady baboon so atrracted to the big gorilla?
A. 'Cause he had s*x ape-peal.
Q. What do you call a gorilla who studies large primates and has great grades?
A. Ape lust student.
Why don't gorillas vote?
They're ape-political.
A gorilla starts off his day by going to his car
When he gets to his car, he notices hes missing something. He walks back in his house, and asks his wife "Have you seen monkeys?"
Q. Whay aren't gorillas afraid of zombies?
A. Because the ape-ocalypse doesn't frighten them.
What did the gorilla wear when he was cooking in the kitchen?
An ape-ron
What is most gorillas' favorite book to study in English class at high school?
The Apes Of Wrath.
What did the Gorilla say to his friend when he called him back on the phone?
You-Rang-a-Tang?
How do you tell the difference between a rabbit and a gorilla?
A rabbit looks nothing like a gorilla
Ever wonder how gorillas can be so strong when they eat mostly a plant based diet?
Cuz they don't monkey around when it comes to strength training!
If you were in the jungle, and a gorilla charged you, what should you do?
Pay him.
What's the best time of year to see gorillas in the wild? Ape-ril.
Q. How do you make a sasquatch, a yeti, or a bigfoot laugh?
A. Tell it a gorilla joke!
What noise does a gorilla’s doorbell make?
King Kong
Q. Which kind of ape enjoys smoking tobaco?
A. Cigarilla.
What do you call a gorilla with a million dollars?
A gorillanaire
What do you call a gorilla with a machine gun ?
Whatever it wants to be called.
Q. What haapens if a gorilla sits on your piano?
A. You get a flat note.
Did you hear about the gorilla with a screw loose?
He needed to use a money wrench to tighten it.
Have you heard about the gorilla who got a name change?
Peaches the gorilla escaped from the zoo, but when they got him back they had to change it because it turns out he had become an Ape Re-caught.
My friend, who's a geneticist and a rapper crossed a gorilla with an orang utan
That's his new mixed ape.
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