Why do gorillas have really big fingers?
Because they have really big nostrils!
Q. What do you call gorillaS who just monkey around at the gym?
A. Buff-oons
Q. What do they call the gorilla marathon runner who only wins when it's pouring outdoors?
A. The raining chimp-ion.
How did Gertie Gorilla win the beauty contest? She was the beast of the show!
Q. Which country was founded by wild gorillas?
A. The Banana Republic.
What do you call a gorilla wearing headphones?
Anything you'd like, it can't hear you.
What’s the first thing a gorilla learns in school? The ape b c’s.
Q. What do you call an entertaining gorilla eating a banana?
A. Ape peeling.
How do you prepare a Gorilla sundae? Your start getting it ready Fridae and Saturdae!
What is the first thing that gorillas learn at kindergarten?
Apey Cee's?
What is most gorillas' favorite book to study in English class at high school?
The Apes Of Wrath.
What do you call a large gorilla who appears to be in a bad mood?
Sir.
Q. Why did the gorilla go to the barber?
A. He was concerned about his ape-pearance.
What do you call a gorilla with a million dollars?
A gorillanaire
Q. Why did the girl-illa win the beauty contest?
A. She was beast of show!
What do gorillas and orangutans wear in the kitchen?
Ape-rons.
Where do the monkeys melt their cheese?
Under the gorilla.
Q. What do you get if you cross a gorilla with a grizzly bear?
A. Fired from the zoo.
Q. Which US city holds the record for suicidal gorillas jumping off skyscrapers?
A. Fall-Adelphia.
Q. Why was the gorilla's jungle party so lame?
A. Because theyran out of chimps and dip.
Q. Where did the gorilla like to go sailing?
A. The Chimpan-Sea
Have you heard about the gorilla who got a name change?
Peaches the gorilla escaped from the zoo, but when they got him back they had to change it because it turns out he had become an Ape Re-caught.
Q. Where do gorillas get their gossip?
A. From the grapevine.
What noise does a gorilla’s doorbell make?
King Kong
Q. What does the alpha gorilla call his first wife?
A. His prime mate.
How do gorillas get down the stairs? They slide down the banana-ster!
What is the best thing to do if you notice a gorilla is sitting at your desk?
Find another place to sit.
What do you call a gorilla stuck in a ventilation shaft
A Duct-ape.
Where do apes like to cook their sausages?
On the gorilla.
What do you call a gorilla in a cement-mixer?
King Koncrete.
How do you tell the difference between a rabbit and a gorilla?
A rabbit looks nothing like a gorilla
Why don't gorillas vote?
They're ape-political.
Q. Which book makes virgin gorillas blush?
A. The Naked Ape.
Why did the gorilla cross the road? He had to take care of some monkey business.
What’s a gorilla’s favourite pop group? A: Bananarama!
A muslim woman wanted to adopt a gorilla. Her husband wouldn't allow it.
He said, that's haram, bae.
Q. What do you call a gorilla who studies large primates and has great grades?
A. Ape lust student.
Did you hear about the gorilla that was from Vietnam?
He was a viet kong.
What did the gorilla say after spending one month at te gym?
Geez, gain a little muscle mass, and everybody acuses you of steroids. As if eating too many bananas wasn't dopey enough!
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite holiday?
A. Ape-ril Fools Day!
What do you call a gorilla with no arms?
An ape-utee
Ever wonder how gorillas can be so strong when they eat mostly a plant based diet?
Cuz they don't monkey around when it comes to strength training!
What did the banana do when it saw a gorilla? The banana split.
Did you hear about the gorilla with a screw loose?
He needed to use a money wrench to tighten it.
Why did the Buddhist gorilla get locked out of his monastery?
He forgot his monk-key
Q. How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Two, but it has to be a really BIG light bulb.
What is a gorillas second favourite fruit to eat behind bananas?=
Ape-ricots
Why did the Gorilla fail its exam? He didn't have the ape-titude.
Q. Why doesn't a big gorilla have to flush the toilet?
A. He scares the sh*t out of it!
If you were in the jungle, and a gorilla charged you, what should you do?
Pay him.
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