Did you hear about the gorilla that was from Vietnam?
He was a viet kong.
What is most gorillas' favorite book to study in English class at high school?
The Apes Of Wrath.
Why did the advertising tycoons hire a bunch of apes?
They were running a gorilla marketing campaign.
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
Q. What do you get if you cross a gorilla with a grizzly bear?
A. Fired from the zoo.
Did you hear about the extremely serious gorilla?
He didn't monkey around.
Why don't gorillas vote?
They're ape-political.
Why did the Gorilla fail its exam? He didn't have the ape-titude.
Where do gorillas go to after work?
The monkey bars.
What did the Gorilla say when he saw there was a sale happening?
Ooh! OOh! OOOh!!!!
How do gorillas get down the stairs? They slide down the banana-ster!
Q. What do they call the gorilla marathon runner who only wins when it's pouring outdoors?
A. The raining chimp-ion.
A gorilla starts off his day by going to his car
When he gets to his car, he notices hes missing something. He walks back in his house, and asks his wife "Have you seen monkeys?"
Where do gorillas keep their beehives?
Apeiaries.
A muslim woman wanted to adopt a gorilla. Her husband wouldn't allow it.
He said, that's haram, bae.
What do you call a gorilla with a million dollars?
A gorillanaire
If you were in the jungle, and a gorilla charged you, what should you do?
Pay him.
Have you heard about the gorilla who got a name change?
Peaches the gorilla escaped from the zoo, but when they got him back they had to change it because it turns out he had become an Ape Re-caught.
Why do gorillas have really big fingers?
Because they have really big nostrils!
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
Did you hear about the girl who put gorilla glue in her hair?
Her stupidity knew no bonds
Q. Why was the blonde disappointed after her visit to an apiary?
A. There weren't any gorillas there. DUH!
Q. What do you call a gorilla who studies large primates and has great grades?
A. Ape lust student.
Q. Where do lady gorillas go for a wild weekend night out?
A. Chimpendale's.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite movie?
A. Planet of the Apes.
What do you call a gorilla with a machine gun ?
Whatever it wants to be called.
Q. Why couldn't the gorilla run in the marathon?
A. Because he's not part of the human race!
What is the best thing to do if you notice a gorilla is sitting at your desk?
Find another place to sit.
What is a gorillas second favourite fruit to eat behind bananas?=
Ape-ricots
What did the gorilla wear when he was cooking in the kitchen?
An ape-ron
What's the best time of year to see gorillas in the wild? Ape-ril.
What’s the first thing a gorilla learns in school? The ape b c’s.
Q. How do you make a sasquatch, a yeti, or a bigfoot laugh?
A. Tell it a gorilla joke!
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite toy?
A. A bab-boom-orang.
What do gorillas and orangutans wear in the kitchen?
Ape-rons.
Q. What is a gorilla in a wheelchair called?
A. Dis-ape-led.
Q. What haapens if a gorilla sits on your piano?
A. You get a flat note.
What is a gorillas favourite ice cream flavour.
Chocolate chimp.
What do you call a gorilla in a cement-mixer?
King Koncrete.
Why wasn't King Kong able to climb to the top of the Empire State Building?
He couldn't quite fit in the elevator.
What do you call a gorilla who has been locked up in prison?
A kong-vict
Q. Why did the girl-illa win the beauty contest?
A. She was beast of show!
What do you get if you cross a talking parrot with a gorilla?
I am not sure but if he says something you better damn well listen.
What is the first thing that gorillas learn at kindergarten?
Apey Cee's?
Q. Whay aren't gorillas afraid of zombies?
A. Because the ape-ocalypse doesn't frighten them.
Why should you never fight a Gorilla?
They know king kong fu.
My girlfriend and I saw an inflatable gorilla In front of a jacuzzi store
She asked me why they would do that for a jacuzzi store. I told her it was a guerilla tactic. She was not impressed.
What noise does a gorilla’s doorbell make?
King Kong
Q. Why do educated gorillas like the numbers 1, 3, 5, 7, 11 and 13?
A. 'Cause they're prime apes.
Q. What do gorillas and big apes do to make each other laugh?
A. They tell punny jokes about humans!
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