Did you hear about the gorilla with a screw loose?
He needed to use a money wrench to tighten it.
Q. Why did the gorilla go to the barber?
A. He was concerned about his ape-pearance.
Did you hear about the girl who put gorilla glue in her hair?
Her stupidity knew no bonds
What's the best time of year to see gorillas in the wild? Ape-ril.
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
What is most gorillas' favorite book to study in English class at high school?
The Apes Of Wrath.
Q. Why was the lady baboon so atrracted to the big gorilla?
A. 'Cause he had s*x ape-peal.
Q. Why was the baby gorilla such a big brat?
A. Because his parents are big apes.
How do you tell the difference between a rabbit and a gorilla?
A rabbit looks nothing like a gorilla
Q. Why doesn't a big gorilla have to flush the toilet?
A. He scares the sh*t out of it!
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
What do you call a large gorilla who appears to be in a bad mood?
Sir.
What’s the first thing a gorilla learns in school? The ape b c’s.
What is the best thing to do if you notice a gorilla is sitting at your desk?
Find another place to sit.
Q. Why did the gorilla cross the road?
A. To get to the monkey biz on the other side.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite movie?
A. Planet of the Apes.
What did the banana do when it saw a gorilla? The banana split.
Why did the Buddhist gorilla get locked out of his monastery?
He forgot his monk-key
My friend, who's a geneticist and a rapper crossed a gorilla with an orang utan
That's his new mixed ape.
How did Gertie Gorilla win the beauty contest? She was the beast of the show!
Q. What do you get if you cross a gorilla with a grizzly bear?
A. Fired from the zoo.
Q. Which US city holds the record for suicidal gorillas jumping off skyscrapers?
A. Fall-Adelphia.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite toy?
A. A bab-boom-orang.
What do you call a gorilla with a machine gun ?
Whatever it wants to be called.
What do you call a gorilla wearing headphones?
Anything you'd like, it can't hear you.
Why wasn't King Kong able to climb to the top of the Empire State Building?
He couldn't quite fit in the elevator.
Q. Why was the blonde disappointed after her visit to an apiary?
A. There weren't any gorillas there. DUH!
Q. What do you call gorillaS who just monkey around at the gym?
A. Buff-oons
Q. What do they call the gorilla marathon runner who only wins when it's pouring outdoors?
A. The raining chimp-ion.
Q. Whay aren't gorillas afraid of zombies?
A. Because the ape-ocalypse doesn't frighten them.
What do you call a gorilla who has been locked up in prison?
A kong-vict
Why did the advertising tycoons hire a bunch of apes?
They were running a gorilla marketing campaign.
How do gorillas get down the stairs? They slide down the banana-ster!
Q. Where do lady gorillas go for a wild weekend night out?
A. Chimpendale's.
Where do the monkeys melt their cheese?
Under the gorilla.
What did the Gorilla say when he saw there was a sale happening?
Ooh! OOh! OOOh!!!!
A gorilla starts off his day by going to his car
When he gets to his car, he notices hes missing something. He walks back in his house, and asks his wife "Have you seen monkeys?"
Where do apes like to cook their sausages?
On the gorilla.
If you were in the jungle, and a gorilla charged you, what should you do?
Pay him.
Q. What do you call an entertaining gorilla eating a banana?
A. Ape peeling.
What do you call a gorilla stuck in a ventilation shaft
A Duct-ape.
Q. What kind of underwear do s*xy gorillas wear?
A. Chim-pant-zies.
What is just as big as a gorilla but literally weighs nothing?
A gorilla's shadow.
What do you call a gorilla in a cement-mixer?
King Koncrete.
Q. Why couldn't the gorilla run in the marathon?
A. Because he's not part of the human race!
Q. What happens when a gorilla has a melt down?
A. He goes absolutely bananas!
I gave my wife that new gorilla glue chapstick...🦍💄
It left her speechless
What do you call a polyarmourus deceased gorilla?
Harembe.
What do gorillas and orangutans wear in the kitchen?
Ape-rons.
Why did the Gorilla fail its exam? He didn't have the ape-titude.
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