I got an email today saying I could win $10,000 in a fishing competition.
But I'm sure there's a catch involved somewhere.
What are the fastest fish in the river? The motor-pike with a side-carp!
What part of a fish weighs the most?
The scales.
How does a group of sea turtles make a decision?
They flipper a coin.
Why did the whale cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
There was a fight at the fish restaurant last night.
Two haddock got battered.
What's a fish's favorite musical instrument?
A bass guitar.
What did the dolphin say to the blue whale?
“Cheer up!”
Why don’t fish play basketball?
Because they're afraid of the net.
How to fish like to eat cereal?
In a fish bowl!
What fish only swims at night?
A starfish.
What do you call a lazy crayfish?
A slobster.
What’s the coldest fish in the sea?
A blue whale!
Why do you bring fish to a party?
You bring fish to a party because they go well with chips!
What do you call two octopuses that look alike?
I-tentacle twins!
Why don’t oysters share their pearls? Oysters don’t share their pearls because they’re shellfish!
Why do fish not like computers?
Because they are worried about getting caught in the Inter-net.
What did the fish say when it swam into a brick wall?
Dam!
What kind of fish do you find in a bird cage?
A perch!
How do you catch an electric eel?
You can catch an electric eel with a lightning rod!
Where do fish save their money?
In the river bank.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
Who does a fish call when his piano breaks?
The piano tuna!
Why are mice afraid of the water?
Because of catfish.
Which fish is the most famous? The starfish.
Which sea creatures cry the most?
Whales!
Why do fish live in salt water?
Because pepper makes them sneeze.
What does the Pope eat during Lent?
Holy mackerel.
What do you call a FISH with no Eyes? A FSH.
How do you find out how heavy a whale is?
Take them to a whale-weigh station.
Where do fish wash?
In a river basin.
Why was the whale so sad?
The fish was said because he was a Blue whale!
What swims in the sea, carries a machine gun, and makes you an offer you can't refuse?
The Codfather.
How do you communicate with a fish?
Drop him a line.
How do fish play the drums?
With Fish Sticks.
What do whales do when they get angry?
They blow up and then let off steam.
What kind of fish will help you hear?
A herring aid!
Are Jellyfish sad that there are no Peanut Butter fish?
What did the fish say when he posted bail?
I’m off the hook!
What do fish use for money?
Sand dollars!
Where do fish stay on a campsite?
Fish stay in tentacles while they are camping!
What fish perform at the circus?
Clown fish!
What do you get if you cross an abbot with a trout?
A monkfish.
Why did the girl pour glue into her fishbowl?
She wanted to make a fish stick!
What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
‘I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand!’
What fish are at the zoo?
Lion fish!
What is a pirate’s favorite’s fish?
A pirates favorite fish is a swordfish!
Why are some fish at the bottom of the ocean?
Because they dropped out of the school.
A detective recently came into town to visit the new sushi restaurant
He heard there was a fishy business.
Why do fish swim in schools?
Because they can't walk.