What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fishually impaired.
How do you circumcise a whale?
You send down four skin divers.
What's a fish's favorite musical instrument?
A bass guitar.
Why did the whale cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
What’s the easiest way to catch fish? Have someone throw it at you!
What is a pirate’s favorite’s fish?
A pirates favorite fish is a swordfish!
What fish are at the zoo?
Lion fish!
Where do fish sleep?
On a seabed, and sometimes they vacation at the river bed.
What’s the difference between a marine biologist and a dog?
One tags a whale, the other wags a tail.
Why do you bring fish to a party?
You bring fish to a party because they go well with chips!
What do you call a FISH with no Eyes? A FSH.
Which fish go to heaven when they die?
Angelfish.
Why did the fish cross the road?
The chicken had the days off!
What sea creature never tells the truth
A lion fish.
How do shellfish get to the hospital?
In a clambulance!
If you can think of a better fish pun, let minnow.
How do you find out how heavy a whale is?
Take them to a whale-weigh station.
What is a dolphin’s favorite TV show? Whale of fortune.
How do fish get from place to place while playing golf?
With a golf carp,
Which murderer kills at the bottom of the ocean?
Jack the Kipper.
Why do fish live in salt water?
Because pepper makes them sneeze.
Where do fish save their money?
In the river bank.
What do fish take to stay healthy?
Fish take Vitamin Sea to stay healthy!
Why are goldfish orange?
The water makes them rusty.
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a fish?
Swimming trunks!
Why is it easy to spot a Cinderella-fish? They have glass flippers!
Why was the whale so sad?
The fish was said because he was a Blue whale!
What kind of horse can swim underwater without coming up for air?
A seahorse.
What do you call a jellyfish on a plane?
A flightoplankton.
What kind of fish do you find in a bird cage?
A perch!
How do you get two whales in a car?
Start in England and drive west.
Would you rather kiss a shark or a jellyfish?
A jellyfish. That’s a no-brainer.
What did the fish say when he posted bail?
I’m off the hook!
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
How do you communicate with a fish?
Drop him a line.
Why did the girl pour glue into her fishbowl?
She wanted to make a fish stick!
How does an octopus go to war?
Well armed.
What fish perform at the circus?
Clown fish!
What kind of whale can fly?
A Pilot whale.
I watched a good film about fishing last night.
It had a great cast.
Which sea creatures cry the most?
Whales!
How do fish get high?
Seaweed.
What do jellyfish and a girl after prom night have in common?
They can't be deboned.
Why do fish like worms?
Fish like worms because they’re hooked on them.
What do fish use for money?
Sand dollars!
What did one fish say to the other?
If you keep your mouth closed you will not get caught.
Where do fish go to watch movies?
At the dive-in.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
What do whales do when they get angry?
They blow up and then let off steam.
My wife got stung by a jellyfish and said, “Quick, pee on it!” So I peed on it and said…
“That’s for stinging my wife!”
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