If you can think of a better fish pun, let minnow.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
How do fish play the drums?
With Fish Sticks.
Why do fish like worms?
Fish like worms because they’re hooked on them.
How does an octopus go to war?
Well-armed!
Where do fish go to watch movies?
At the dive-in.
Did you hear about the crab who went to a seafood disco?
He pulled a mussel.
Why are mice afraid of the water?
Because of catfish.
How do shellfish get to the hospital?
In a clambulance!
What did the fish say when it swam into a brick wall?
Dam!
What’s in the middle of a jellyfish?
A jelly button.
How do you catch an electric eel?
You can catch an electric eel with a lightning rod!
What's a fish's favorite musical instrument?
A bass guitar.
How do you make a goldfish old?
Take away the “G”!
What’s the easiest way to catch fish? Have someone throw it at you!
What fish like to fly?
Flying Fish
What do you call a fish with two knees? A two-knee-fish!
How do you get two whales in a car?
Start in England and drive west.
How do fish get from place to place while playing golf?
With a golf carp,
Why did the fish blush?
Because it saw the ocean's bottom.
Why do you bring fish to a party?
You bring fish to a party because they go well with chips!
Why are some fish at the bottom of the ocean?
Because they dropped out of the school.
Who granted the fish’s wish?
The fairy cod mother!
What kind of fish will help you hear?
A herring aid!
A detective recently came into town to visit the new sushi restaurant
He heard there was a fishy business.
What’s the difference between a marine biologist and a dog?
One tags a whale, the other wags a tail.
How do fish get high?
Seaweed.
Whale, whale, whale…
If it isn’t a pod.
What do jellyfish and a girl after prom night have in common?
They can't be deboned.
Why are goldfish orange?
The water makes them rusty.
What is the most expensive kind of fish?
The goldfish.
I went fly-fishing yesterday.
All I caught was two bluebottles.
How do you make a fish laugh?
Tell it a whale of a tale.
How do fish go into business?
The start on a small scale.
What do fish take to stay healthy?
Fish take Vitamin Sea to stay healthy!
Why did the girl pour glue into her fishbowl?
She wanted to make a fish stick!
Why was the whale so sad?
The fish was said because he was a Blue whale!
Are Jellyfish sad that there are no Peanut Butter fish?
Why are fish so smart?
They are always in schools!
What part of a fish weighs the most?
The scales.
Why did the fish cross the road?
The chicken had the days off!
I got an email today saying I could win $10,000 in a fishing competition.
But I'm sure there's a catch involved somewhere.
How do you confuse a fish?
Put the fish in a round fishbowl and tell it to go to the corner.
What fish only swims at night?
A starfish.
What do fish use for money?
Sand dollars!
How do you circumcise a whale?
You send down four skin divers.
Why did the whale cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
What kind of whale can fly?
A Pilot whale.
What is a dolphin’s favorite TV show? Whale of fortune.
There was a fight at the fish restaurant last night.
Two haddock got battered.
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