How do Japanese chihuahuas say hello?
Konnichihuahua.
How does a Spanish dog say Merry Christmas?
Feliz navi-dog.
Why did the police dog get promoted?
Because he was the scenter of so many drug arrests.
What is a dog’s favorite movie series?
Fifty shades of Greyhound.
What happens when you cross an Australian dog and a Beatle?
Dingo Starr.
My dog hates the rain.
He doesn’t want to step in a poodle.
Why did the Dalmatian have to go to the eye doctor?
He kept seeing spots.
Why was the dog chasing his own tail?
Because he was trying to make both ends meet.
Why did the dog walk in to the saloon?
He was looking for the man who shot his paw
What did the Dalmatian say when he finished his meal?
That really hit the spot.
What do you call an old dog?
Grandpaw.
Sorry we missed puppy class.
My dog was wagging. There goes his oppawtunity for pawfect attendance…
My dog won’t get off the PlayStation He’s been playing Fi-fur all day.
What do you get when you cross a dog and a frog?
A Croaker Spaniel.
What did the cowboy say when his dog ran away?
Now wait just a doggone minute.
What is a dog’s favorite type of homework?
A lab report.
Whenever I go to a zoo, I only ever see dogs.
They were Shiht-zus.
What type of dog would be the best at portraying Tina Turner?
An Angela Bassett Hound.
My dog loves poetry.
Especially William Shakes-paw.
What do you get when you cross a dog with a calculator?
A friend you can count on.
What is an Italian’s favorite type of dog?
A ciao ciao.
What was the puppy's costume for Halloween?
The Big Bad Woof.
My dog went on his first date.
But she was a mal-TEASE.
What do you get when you cross a chili pepper, a shovel and a terrier?
A hot-diggity-dog.
What type of dog chases anything red?
A bull dog.
What do dogs eat for breakfast?
Pooched eggs.
What do dog scientists to with their bones?
They barium.
My dog needed date ideas.
I told him to whine and dine her.
What do you call a dog that sneezes?
Achoo-huahua.
What kind of dog sniffs out flowers?
A bud hound.
My dog recently joined a gang. Now he’s all about that pug-life.
What does a dog get when she finishes obedience school?
Her pet-degree.
What do you call a cold dog?
A pup-sicle. Better steer clear, especially if he’s fur-ocious… don’t want him to give you frost-bite.
Why are Dalmatians so bad at hiding?
Because they are always spotted.
Why couldn’t the dog fit in his clothes?
He was a little husky
Why aren’t dogs good dancers?
Because they have two left feet.
That dog is so beautiful. She should be on the cover of Vanity Fur.
Have you ever heard of Pavlov’s dog?
Yeah, he rings a bell
What do you call someone who always takes pictures of their dog?
A pup-arazzi.
I went to the Veterinarian today.
She really knew how to make my dog heal.
What type of dog doesn’t bark?
A hush puppy.
How do you know when your dog is lazy?
When it chases parked cars.
What did the dog say when he sat down on sand paper?
Rough.
My dog takes so long to get ready. He can never chews what to wear.
What breed of dog will laugh at any joke?
A Chi-ha-ha
Why was the dog such a good storyteller?
Because he knew how to paws for dramatic effect.
What does a dog wear when it’s cold outside?
A pet-ticoat.
When is the best time to paint a dog?
When they're asleep.
Why was the picture of the dog sent to jail?
Because it was framed.
Which dog won the race? A weiner dog.