Why did the sloth get fired from his job?
He would only do the bear minimum.
What do you call bears with no ears?
B.
Why do bears have fur coats?
Because they look silly wearing jackets.
How can you tell when a polar bear is moving?
There’s a “fur sale” sign in the yard.
Why didn’t the teddy bear eat his lunch?
Because he was stuffed.
Why is it cheap to feed polar bears?
Because they live on ice only.
What do grizzlies use in the shower?
Bear conditioner.
A bear walks into a bear and says, “I’ll have a pint of lager……….. and a packet of crisps.”
The bartender says, “Sure, but what’s with the big pause?”
The bear replies, “I dunno, I was born with them!”
What do you call a bear who practices dentistry?
A molar bear.
Where do the teenaged polar bears go to dance?
To the snow-ball.
What do you call a freezing bear?
A brrrrrrr.
I’ll think of another pun soon…
Just bear with me.
How do you stop a bear from charging?
Take away its credit cards.
What cheese do you use to get a bear out of a tree?
Camembert.
What do you get if you cross a skunk with a bear?
Winnie the PU!
What is a polar bear’s favorite snack?
Brrrrrittos.
Who is a polar bear’s favorite musician?
Seal.
What do you call a bear with no arms and no legs?
An ambulance. This is no time for jokes.
What kind of car does Yogi bear drive?
A Furrari.
How did the grizzly walk in the snow?
Bear footed.
What does Pooh Bear call his girl friend?
Hunny.
Why didn’t the baby leave his momma?
Because he couldn’t bear it!
What color socks do bears wear?
They don’t wear socks, they have bear feet.
How does a bear get from one place to another?
On a bear-o-plane.
How can a bear catch fish without a pole?
They use their bear hands.
What do you call a cemetery for bears?
Bearial grounds.
What do polar bears have for lunch?
Ice burgers.
How does a bear stop a movie?
They hit the paws button.
What is a bear’s favorite soda?
Coca Koala.
Why wouldn’t the papa bear use a navigation system in his truck?
Because he never lost his bearings.
Why do bears have sticky fur?
Because they use honey combs.
Goldilocks was killed last night.
The killers did it with their own bear hands.
What do you call a bear with a bad attitude?
The bearer of bad news.
What is a polar bear’s favorite food?
Iceberg lettuce and snow peas.
What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a harp?
A bear-faced lyre.
What did the bear say when her date showed up too early?
I’ll be out in a minute, I’m bearly dressed.
What is a polar bear’s favorite cereal?
Ice Crispies.
What do you call a grizzly bear who gets caught in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
If I ever find out the name of the surgeon who messed up my limb transplant, I’ll kill him…
With my bear hands.
What does pooh eat at parties?
Blue bear-y pie.
Why did the bear dissolve in water?
It was polar.
Why don’t bears eat fast food?
Because it’s hard for them to catch.
What do you call a Mexican bear with a rubber toe?
Robearto.
Have you ever had a dream about a bear eating you?
I call them bite-mares.
Did you hear about the guy who got killed by a bear?
It was a grizzly death.
What do you call a bear without any teeth?
A gummy bear.
Why do grizzlies never look sad?
Because whenever there’s a problem, they just grin and bear it.
Why did God create Yogi bear?
Because on his first try he made a Boo-Boo.
What is a bear’s favorite drink?
Koka-Koala.
What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig?
A teddy boar.