What did the deer’s mother say to her daughter on her birthday?
“I remember the day you were fawn!”
Q. Which deer was a fascist dictator?
A. Moose Al Ini.
What did the deer say to his friend who has slipping down the mountain?
Hang on for deer life!
What did the deer say to his friend during their night in the woods?
This is so much fawn!
What did the fawn who wanted to be a child forever say?
“I don’t want to doe up!”
What did the reindeer dad tell his son?
Deer to be different!
Q. How do you describe a stinking filthy buck?
A. Deer-ty.
Q. What do you call the stench that comes from antlered roadkill?
A. A foul o-deer.
What’s a deer’s favorite place to get ice cream?
Deery Queen.
I want to start a deer breeding business…
But first, I’m gonna need about 5,000 bucks.
What do you give a deer with an upset stomach?
Elka Seltzer.
What do we call a deer without any eye?
“No – eye – deer.”
What is the most affordable type of meat that we would purchase?
“Dear balls because they are always under a buck.”
What do deer always use to clean their homes?
Comet!
What did the weather reporter say to his wife?
“I hope it doesn’t rain, deer!”
Where did the deer go to fix its tail?
The re-tail shop.
Q. What did the mother doe name her new twin babies?
A. Bam B and Bam A.
Where do Santa Claus and his deers stop to have a coffee at Christmas?
“Star – Bucks!”
Why was the deer a good driver? He was great at using the deering wheel!
What do teenage deer do at slumber parties?
Truth or deer.
Why was the actress scared of the deer?
She had stag fright.
Q. After the stripper is done, what happens at a stag party?
A. Deer-ty dancing.
Q. How do you describe a deer joke with a screwed up punch line?
A. Bucked up.
What did the fawn say to warn her friend about the haunted house?
“Don’t go deer!”
Q. Which kind of cheese is made fom deer milk?
A. Moose-erella.
What did the deer say after prancing around a cloning machine for an hour?
“I feel like a million bucks!”
How do deer clean their feet?
Hoof paste.
What did the big stag deer say to the hunter?
“Buck off, man!”
What kind of money does deer use?
“Bucks!”
What did the deer say when she met her favorite celebrity?
“I’m a big fawn of your movies!”
What’s a deer’s go-to ice cream flavor?
Cookie-doe.
Q. What does a doe stripper at a stag party take off?
A. Everything but her un-deer-wear.
What do you get when you cross a fawn with a bumblebee?
Bambee.
What do we call a deer that wears a mask and refuses to tell its name?
“Anony – moose.”
Q. Which game do hunters go after first?
A. The nearest and the deerest.
Q. Where can you view sculptures and paintings created by deer?
A. At the art moose-seum.
Q. What did the witch get when she crossed a doe with a tornado?
A. A whirling deer-vish.
What is a deer’s favorite place to get breakfast?
Dunkin’ Doe-nuts!
How much does it cost to fly Santa’s sleigh?
About 9 bucks.
Q. What is another name for elk diarrhea?
A. Chocolate Moose.
What does a doe stripper at a stag party take off?
A. Everything but her un-deer-wear.
Q. What's on display at the Canadian Moose Museum?
A. Mod deer 'n art.
When we cross a deer and a mouse, what would we get?
“Mickey Moose!”
What is a deer’s favorite meal?
Deer-ner!
What was the motto of the unique deer? Deer to be different!
What is the name of Santa’s rudest deer?
Rude-olph.
Q. Will a sensible stag do something dangerous to impress a doe?
A. No, not even on a deer.
What does a deer do when it gets to its friend’s house?
Rings the deer bell.
Q. How do you describe the inate behavior of a new mother deer?
A. Doe-ting
What kind of diet did the deer go on when she was trying to lose weight?
A non-deery diet.