My friend asked me how my pet crow communicates…
I replied, “Microwaves”.
What do you call a group of politically similar crows?
A cawcus
A crow was arrested under suspicion of murder. The case was closed, as the judge said he had just caws.
What do you call a group of dyslexic crows?
A redrum.
What’s the difference between a crow and a chicken?
A chicken can crow, but a crow can’t chicken.
Have you ever heard of the Crows Law Of Energy Conservation?
It's also known as the Law of Caws and Effect.
My Chinese neighbour said he's just opened a crows shop.
Speaking slowly, I said "you mean a *clothes* shop?"
He says, "No, a crows shop - come in and have a rook."
The scare crow was out standing in his field, so he got awarded as the best employee of the year.
I heard some crows communicating after one of their own was injured.
They were caws for concern.
The gang of crows used a crowbar to break into the house.
What do you call a white crow?
A caw-casian.
One of my friends who hates crows, looked at a flock of crows, I saw murder in his eyes.
Who was the criminal crow running from? The cawps.
What is the favorite bread of a crow? Crow-issant.
Crows, they just love sports, crow-quet to be precise.
And the collective nouns go: a murder of crows, a herd of cows, a migraine of children.
Don't give up at this stage, just keep cawing on, you will do great.
What do you call a Spanish pig?
Porque.
What are unsolved murders called when it happens in a society of crows? Murder mysteries.
The police hung up the phone call when I informed them about a murder in my front yard. They said they could not do anything regarding the crows.
Did you hear about the guy who killed a group of catholic crows?
It was Mass murder
A group of crows drooling over a pastry is called a-tempted murder.
What do you call two crows flying together?
An attempted murder
I stole seven crows yesterday.
Got away with murder.
Why was the crow so angry after his stand up comedy gig? The venue paid him in coffee instead of caw fee.
Why was the crow upset about his job? The HR fired the crow with no caws.
The phone rings, and a crow picks it only to find out it’s for her husband. She then says: "Hey John, you have a phone caw."
How will a crow with a cold fever sound like? Caw-ph, Caw-ph.
Where do crows go to get educated?
CAWlege
The flock of crows that were sprayed with sewage was a true definition of murder most foul.
What do birds like to put in their soup? Crow-tons.
Ever heard of Cawsmopolitan? It is one of the best magazines for crows.
What do you called a crow that cant find his way?
A lost caws
The cawllarborne of the skinny crow was so pronounced.
What do you call it when a raven marries a crow? A conspiracy to commit to murder.
What do crows read? Cawmics.
How do the crows in Texas greet each other?
Yee-caw
Why was the crow on the telephone wire? To make a long-distance caw.
How can you tell the difference between an English and French crow?
"PourCUAWWW! PourCUAWWW!"
After graduating from high school, crows go to caw-lleges for further studies.
The public investigated a box full of crows because it was a murder case.
Why did the junkie adopt a one legged crow?
So he could get crow cane from his vet.
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
I hate getting into arguments with farmers about the best methods for keeping crows away.
They always resort to straw man arguments.
A gang of ravens scared off individual crows and cornered them together. Well, you can say that a conspiracy of ravens preplanned a murder of crows.
Where do crows type? Crows type on cawmputers.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
A guy walks into a crow bar
It's a murder scene
What is the name of the final exam you take when studying bird law? The crow bar.
He has some good puns on crows, but he doesn’t have to keep crowing about it.
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