I used to own a raven. It could speak English, but the only word it could speak was "car".
What did the teenage crow want for his birthday? A brand new caw!
Two crows land on a park bench.
They were arrested for conspiring to murder.
A gang of ravens scared off individual crows and cornered them together. Well, you can say that a conspiracy of ravens preplanned a murder of crows.
It is said that crows and owls are in caw-hoots.
Ravens fans are so tough....they hang out in crowbars.
What kind of bird always gets stuck in the nest? A velcrow.
What's an albino crow called? A caw-casian.
What is a bunch of crows gathering money called? Crow funding.
Why did the junkie adopt a one legged crow?
So he could get crow cane from his vet.
What do you call a group of dyslexic crows?
A redrum.
What do you call it when a raven marries a crow? A conspiracy to commit to murder.
What do you call a white crow?
A caw-casian.
Why are crows so interesting?
Just beCAWse
Did you hear about the guy who killed a group of catholic crows?
It was Mass murder
Crows go to get their shopping at Cawst Co.
The police hung up the phone call when I informed them about a murder in my front yard. They said they could not do anything regarding the crows.
What is the popular computer game that crows play? Caw of Duty!
For waterproofing their nests, crows buy caw-king.
Which Halloween treat is going to keep a crow up all night? A crowfee apple.
The group of crows that attacked the lady was accused of murder, the cawps are still looking for the probable caws.
What did the nervous crow do? The crow proceeded with caw-tion.
How can you tell the difference between an English and French crow?
"PourCUAWWW! PourCUAWWW!"
I said some stubtly racist stuff to a magpie
She was a victim of my crow aggressions.
Crows have 16 feather pinions and ravens have 17 pinions. It's just a matter of a pinion.
Crows love Cawnie Chung, their favorite reporter.
What do you call a group of crows eating a box of corn flakes?
A cereal murder.
What do you called a crow that cant find his way?
A lost caws
Wondering what crows wear during Halloween, well, they wear caw-stumes.
No, I'm not concerned about crows infesting my house...
It's actually just a mynah problem.
And the collective nouns go: a murder of crows, a herd of cows, a migraine of children.
I had to carry a group of crows once.
It was murder on my back!
A group of crows placed evenly between two margins is definitely a justified murder.
I whisper my sins to crows
So my parents can't hear me confess to a murder
What do birds like to put in their soup? Crow-tons.
I saved a tiny baby crow and now he won't leave, I guess you could say he's mi-cro.
The baby crow decided to dress up as his favorite vegetable on Halloween, he dressed up as a caw-liflower.
Where do crows go to get educated?
CAWlege
Crows hold grudges. They're also fond of eating the dead. Now...
they've been found to copulate with corpses.
NeCROWphilia.
What does a chocolate crow say? “Cacao!”
Crows prefer carrion, so their bags are never checked at the airport.
What do you call a group of politically similar crows?
A cawcus
Experts suggest that the crows flying beak first into windows at a horrifying speed comit a murder suicide.
Who brings presents for crows on Christmas? On Christmas? Santa Caws
Who is a crow’s favorite actor? Russell Crow!
The scare crow was out standing in his field, so he got awarded as the best employee of the year.
What kind of ice cream do pigs like best?
Hoggin Daz!
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
That raven is so stubborn at times, he just needs to crow up.
A group of crows is usually called a 'murder.' Technically, it's only a manslaughter unless there is probable caws.