Did you know alligators can grow up to 18 feet?
But most of them only have four!
The weather's getting colder, I really fancy some hot croc-o-late.
What do you call an alligator that has all the other gators at the swamp crown around him?
A congregator.
How about the stylish female crocodile, she's every inch a frock-o-dile.
Any time I wear a t shirt with a picture of a crocodile on it, I feel a little sick.
I think I might be Lacoste intolerant.
My pet crocodile needs help
Can I give him gatorade or does it only work for alligators?
Did you hear about the constipated crocodile?
It was a crockashit.
What do you call an alligator that makes others fight?
An instigator.
What is a crocodiles favourite dessert?
Brandy snaps.
What does an alligator do when he loses his tail?
It goes to a re-tail store.
What do you call a reptile that works on a farm?
An irri-gator.
What do you call an alligator who is wearing crocs on his feet?
A traitor.
What did the alligator say to the other alligator that was in the way?
“Please move, I need to get bayou.”
What is a nerdy alligator’s favorite programming language?
Jaw-va.
What do you call a crocodile that keeps breaking the law?
A crookadile.
You are really talented. You should join a punk-croc band.
Why should you never ever play texas hold'em with a crocodile?
You will literally lose every hand.
Did you here about the croc with a serious drug addiction?
It was a crackodile.
If you ever need directions, call for a navi-gator.
Why won’t crocodiles attack lawyers?
Professional courtesy!
A crocodile tried to copy a rooster to wake his friends one morning, he went croc-a-doodle do.
Did you hear about the law firm with the most intimidating lawyers?
It’s filled with liti-gators.
Alligators can live up to 100 years…
Which is why there’s a chance that they will see you later.
What do you get if you cross an alligator with a flower?
I don’t know, but I will not smell it!
What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An investigator!
I went to the zoo the other day and saw an alligator that will only eat finely chopped food.
It was an alligrator.
What do you call people who are obsessed with crocodiles?
Crocophiles.
What’s worse than one crocodile coming to dinner?
Two crocodiles coming to dinner.
What do you call a man who is too big for an alligator to eat?
A jawbreaker.
What do alligators call human children?
Appetizers.
Why shouldn’t you shoot an alligator?
He’ll just bite the bullet and make the best of it.
What do you call an alligator that’s a very skilled conversationalist?
A dialogator.
When a girl saw a sad alligator at the zoo she asked him; hey are you cai-man?
What do you call an alligator that will only eat sacrificed lambs?
A hallaligator.
I like you, you croc my world.
Some people like to play croc-quet.
Why was the crocodile invited to glamorous parties?
Because she was a snappy dresser.
A French photographer and his friend from Czechoslovakia were visiting Australia.
Unfortunately, one day they got too close to a nesting site and were attacked and eaten by a pair of crocodiles.
The female ate the Frenchman.
The Czech was in the male.
What happens when an alligator drives a boat?
He becomes a navigator.
What do you call a crocodile that likes to bowl?
An alley-gator!
What came first, the alligator or the crocodile?
The dinosaur.
A boy sees an alligator in the zoo and shouts,
“Hey, are you a caiman?”
The alligator replies, “I’m alright, thanks, kid!”
What do you call an alligator who’s your friend?
A pal-igator.
A guy wearing a suit and tie walks into a bar with an alligator…
He walks up to the bartender and asks, “Do you serve lawyers here?”
“Yes sir, we do,” says the bartender.
The guy smiles and says, “Great. Then I’ll have a beer, and my ‘gator will have a lawyer.”
Alligators ask lots of questions, they'd make great interri-gators.
What kind of croc hangs out in back passages around town?
An Alley-gator.
It's just a lot of croc 'n' roll.
What card game do crocodiles like playing?
Snap!
Have you seen the gators on skateboards, they are great alli-skaters.
What do you call an alligator that sneaks up and bites you from behind?
A tail-gater.