What do you call people who are obsessed with crocodiles?
Crocophiles.
Why don’t alligators watch movies?
Because they live in swamps.
A crocodile tried to copy a rooster to wake his friends one morning, he went croc-a-doodle do.
Why should you never ever play texas hold'em with a crocodile?
You will literally lose every hand.
What is good at maths and related to a crocodile?
A calcu-gator
What do you call an alligator that sneaks up and bites you from behind?
A tail-gator.
What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An investigator!
What do you get if you put an alligator in a blender?
Gatorade.
If you need to share out your to-do list, just be a dele-gator.
A guy wearing a suit and tie walks into a bar with an alligator…
He walks up to the bartender and asks, “Do you serve lawyers here?”
“Yes sir, we do,” says the bartender.
The guy smiles and says, “Great. Then I’ll have a beer, and my ‘gator will have a lawyer.”
What's the opposite of a positive crocodile?
A negator
You are really talented. You should join a punk-croc band.
I told the other alligator to stay outside, he cai-man anyway.
What do you call a man who is too big for an alligator to eat?
A jawbreaker.
What did the alligator say to the other alligator that was in the way?
“Please move, I need to get bayou.”
If you ever need directions, call for a navi-gator.
That alligator took great photos, he was a bit of a snapper.
What do alligators and Windows have in common?
Neither of them has enough bytes!
Why shouldn’t you shoot an alligator?
He’ll just bite the bullet and make the best of it.
When a girl saw a sad alligator at the zoo she asked him; hey are you cai-man?
Why won’t crocodiles attack lawyers?
Professional courtesy!
When alligators need energy, they just slug down some gator-ade.
If you need a mystery-solving, just call an in-vesti-gator.
What kind of croc hangs out in back passages around town?
An Alley-gator.
A French photographer and his friend from Czechoslovakia were visiting Australia.
Unfortunately, one day they got too close to a nesting site and were attacked and eaten by a pair of crocodiles.
The female ate the Frenchman.
The Czech was in the male.
Did you know alligators can grow up to 18 feet?
But most of them only have four!
Why don't alligators like fast food?
Because it is difficult to catch.
Let's play some scrabble, I just need to get the croc-a-tiles.
What do alligators call human children?
Appetizers.
What happens when an alligator drives a boat?
He becomes a navigator.
What do you call an alligator that sneaks up and bites you from behind?
A tail-gater.
What is a nerdy alligator’s favorite programming language?
Jaw-va.
Why should you be careful not to insult a crocodile?
It may come back to bite you in the butt.
What do you get if you cross an alligator with a flower?
I don’t know, but I will not smell it!
What type of flooring do alligators have in their homes?
Rep-tiles.
What’s worse than one crocodile coming to dinner?
Two crocodiles coming to dinner.
Did you hear about the constipated crocodile?
It was a crockashit.
How about the stylish female crocodile, she's every inch a frock-o-dile.
What do you call an alligator that’s a very skilled conversationalist?
A dialogator.
What card game do crocodiles like playing?
Snap!
If a crocodile never admits he is wrong, he must be in de-nile..
My favorite music is by Spandau Croc-quet.
What do crocodiles wear to keep their legs dry in the water?
Gaiters.
Why are alligator comedians so funny?
Their wit is as razor sharp as their teeth!
What came first, the alligator or the crocodile?
The dinosaur.
What do you call a SWAT team of alligators?
Gator-raid.
What has 80 teeth and 2 eyes ?
A crocodile.
What is a crocodiles favourite dessert?
Brandy snaps.
Did you here about the croc with a serious drug addiction?
It was a crackodile.
What’s the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?
Alligators will see you later, crocodiles in a while.