Did you hear about the crocodile who was unable to mate?
He had a reptile dysfunction.
What do you call an alligator who’s your friend?
A pal-igator.
What did the alligator say to the other alligator that was in the way?
“Please move, I need to get bayou.”
What do you call an alligator who kills bugs all day long?
A fumigator.
Have you seen the gators on skateboards, they are great alli-skaters.
Why are alligators long and green?
Because if they were small and red, they would be tomatoes.
What has 80 teeth and 2 eyes ?
A crocodile.
Why was the crocodile invited to glamorous parties?
Because she was a snappy dresser.
A French photographer and his friend from Czechoslovakia were visiting Australia.
Unfortunately, one day they got too close to a nesting site and were attacked and eaten by a pair of crocodiles.
The female ate the Frenchman.
The Czech was in the male.
Why don't alligators like fast food?
Because it is difficult to catch.
What do you call a crocodile that keeps breaking the law?
A crookadile.
What do you call an alligator that has all the other gators at the swamp crown around him?
A congregator.
What do you call a reptile that works on a farm?
An irri-gator.
Did you hear about the law firm with the most intimidating lawyers?
It’s filled with liti-gators.
How about the stylish female crocodile, she's every inch a frock-o-dile.
Why won’t crocodiles attack lawyers?
Professional courtesy!
It's just a lot of croc 'n' roll.
If you need to share out your to-do list, just be a dele-gator.
What is a nerdy alligator’s favorite programming language?
Jaw-va.
How many limbs does an alligator have?
It all depends on what he ate for lunch, dinner and breakfast.
Any time I wear a t shirt with a picture of a crocodile on it, I feel a little sick.
I think I might be Lacoste intolerant.
Why are alligator comedians so funny?
Their wit is as razor sharp as their teeth!
What do alligators call human children?
Appetizers.
A guy wearing a suit and tie walks into a bar with an alligator…
He walks up to the bartender and asks, “Do you serve lawyers here?”
“Yes sir, we do,” says the bartender.
The guy smiles and says, “Great. Then I’ll have a beer, and my ‘gator will have a lawyer.”
What does an alligator do when he loses his tail?
It goes to a re-tail store.
What do dehydrated alligators drink?
Gatorade.
What card game do crocodiles like playing?
Snap!
What happens when an alligator drives a boat?
He becomes a navigator.
If you need a mystery-solving, just call an in-vesti-gator.
Did you here about the croc with a serious drug addiction?
It was a crackodile.
What do you call an alligator that sneaks up and bites you from behind?
A tail-gator.
Did you hear about the constipated crocodile?
It was a crockashit.
What came first, the alligator or the crocodile?
The dinosaur.
What’s worse than one crocodile coming to dinner?
Two crocodiles coming to dinner.
Whichever gator stole all the food, we'll catch the crook-a-dile.
If you ever need directions, call for a navi-gator.
What’s an alligator’s favorite dip?
Croc-amole.
If a crocodile never admits he is wrong, he must be in de-nile..
When alligators need energy, they just slug down some gator-ade.
What do you call people who are obsessed with crocodiles?
Crocophiles.
The weather's getting colder, I really fancy some hot croc-o-late.
What do you call a crocodile that likes to bowl?
An alley-gator!
That alligator took great photos, he was a bit of a snapper.
What do you call an alligator that will only eat sacrificed lambs?
A hallaligator.
What do you call it when a Crocodile becomes an Elvis Impersonator?
Crocabilly
What's the opposite of a positive crocodile?
A negator
I went to the zoo the other day and saw an alligator that will only eat finely chopped food.
It was an alligrator.
A crocodile tried to copy a rooster to wake his friends one morning, he went croc-a-doodle do.
Why shouldn’t you shoot an alligator?
He’ll just bite the bullet and make the best of it.
What do you call a man who is too big for an alligator to eat?
A jawbreaker.
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