Why did the farmer put his cow on the scales?
He wanted to see how much the milky weighed.
What happens when a cow stops shaving?
It grows a Moostache.
What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you?
Your calves.
What do you call an evil cow?
De-mooooon.
What South American dance do cows like to do?
The Rump-a.
What do you call it when cows do battle in outer space?
Steer Wars.
The reason the cow wore a bell around her neck was because her horn didn’t work anymore.
What does a cow ride when his car is broken?
A COW-asaki MOO-torcycle.
Why doesn’t Sweden export its cattle?
It wants to keep its Stockholm.
When doesn’t a bull have horns?
When it’s a bullfrog.
If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have?
Plenty of milk.
What do you call an Arab next to a cow?
Milk Sheikh.
What did the cow who barged the other cow say?
Moo-ve!
Angry cows are usually responsible for giving the farmer sour milk.
How do you count cows?
With a cowculator.
The reason you will see all the cows lie down when it starts to rain is because they want to keep each
udder dry.
What do cows sing at their friend’s birthday parties?
“Happy Birthday to MOO, Happy Birthday to Moo!"
What is it when one cow spies on another cow?
A steak out.
I warned farmer Brown not to pamper that cow too much because it would wind up giving spoiled milk.
What do cows like to eat for lunch?
Moo-shroom soup
What country do cows love to visit?
Moo Zealand.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a wolf?
An animal that mooed at the full moon.
Where do cows go on vacation?
Moo York.
The only difference between pea soup and roast beef is anyone can roast beef.
You can always find the little cows eating lunch inside the calf-etiria.
What has four legs and goes Oom, Oom?
A cow walking backwards.
Each time the cow escaped, the farmer would find him hiding in Moo York City.
What would you hear at a cow concert?
Moo-sic.
What is a cow’s favorite lunch meat?
Bullogna.
Why is it a bad idea to give a cow marijuana?
The steaks are too high.
Where do Russians get their milk?
From Mos-cows.
What’s the best way to make a bull sweat?
Put him in a tight jumper.
What do you get when you cross a cow and an earthquake?
Milkshake.
Why wouldn’t anyone play with the little longhorn?
He was too much of a bully.
The Secret Service surround the President with twelve cows because they were attempting to beef up their security.
Why did the mother cow give the sleepy baby cow a hammer?
He wanted her to hit the hay.
The story of the chicken and cow running away together sounds like a cock and bull story to me.
Why was the cow always exercising? To build up its moo-scles
What do cows do when they’re introduced?
They give each other a milk shake.
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because the cows have horns.
That romantic cow took his new girlfriend to the moo-vies.
Why did the farmer feed money to his cow?
He wanted rich milk.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
Decalfeinated.
Where do cows get together?
The meet market.
Where did the bull carry his stock-market report?
In his beef case
What is the definition of “moon”?
The past tense of “moo”.
Where do pigs learn about magic?
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
Cows will never make the police force because they simply refuse to go on steak-outs.
How do you make a milkshake?
Give a cow a pogo stick.