I don't agree with battery hens.
Surely they'd lay bigger eggs if they were plugged into the mains.
What do you call a group of chickens clucking in unison?
A Hensemble.
What do chickens study in school?
Eggonomics.
Why did the T-Rex cross the road?
Because the chicken hadn’t evolved yet.
Why did the rooster cross the road?
He heard there were some hot chicks on the other side.
How do you know if it's too hot in the chicken barn?
The chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.
What do you call the door to a chicken barn?
The hen-trance.
Which day of the week do chickens hate most?
Fry-Day.
What kind of tree does a chicken come from?
A poul-tree.
Why is it easy for chicks to talk?
Because talk is cheep.
Why did the chicken join a band?
Because it already had drumsticks.
Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?
He heard the referee calling fowls.
What do chickens grow on?
Eggplants.
What did one chicken say to the other after they walked through poison ivy?
“You scratch my beak and I’ll scratch yours!”
Why did the chicken stop in the middle of the road?
Because it wanted to lay it on the line.
What happens when a hen eats gunpowder?
She lays hand gren-eggs.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a four-leaf clover?
The Cluck o’the Irish!
What’s a hen’s favorite type of movie?
A chick flick.
What do chickens call school tests?
Eggs-aminations.
What did the baby chicken say when he saw his mother sitting on an orange?
Dad, look what marma-laid!
Why does a chicken coop have two doors?
Because if had four doors it would be a chicken sedan.
How do you know if it’s too hot in the chicken barn?
The chickens are laying hard-cooked eggs.
How long do chickens work?
Around the cluck.
What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?
A brick layer.
Did you hear about the chicken who could only lay eggs in the winter?
She was no spring chicken.
I ate an omelette for breakfast…
but I’m still feeling peckish.
What do chickens grow on?
Eggplants.
What do chicken families do on Saturday afternoon?
They go on peck-nics.
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
He wanted to get to the other slide.
How did the headless chicken cross the road?
In a KFC bucket.
Why did the chicken cross the road halfway?
She wanted to lay it on the line.
What do you get if you feed gunpowder to a chicken?
An egg-splosion.
Why don’t chickens wear pants?
Their peckers are on their face.
What happened to the baby chicken that misbehaved at school?
It was egg-spelled.
Is chicken soup good for your health?
Not if you’re the chicken.
What does a chicken need to lay an egg every day?
Hen-durance.
Why do chickens rinse their mouth out with soap?
Because of all the fowl language.
Why do chickens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they’d break.
Which chicken is at the top of the pecking order?
Attila the Hen.
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a Martian?
An eggs-traterrestrial.
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road?
Poultry in motion.
What do you call a crazy chicken?
A cuckoo cluck.
How does a chicken mail a letter to her friend?
In a HEN-velope!
How do baby chickens dance?
Chick-to-chick.
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a bell?
An alarm cluck.
What do you get when you cross a ghost with a chicken?
A poultry-geist.
What do chickens serve at birthday parties?
Coop-cakes.
How do baby chickens dance?
Chick-to-chick.
What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll.
Which dance will a chicken not do?
The foxtrot.
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