Where do polar bears keep their money?
In a snow bank.
Why wouldn’t the papa bear use a navigation system in his truck?
Because he never lost his bearings.
What do you call a bear who practices dentistry?
A molar bear.
What cheese do you use to get a bear out of a tree?
Camembert.
Why didn’t the baby leave his momma?
Because he couldn’t bear it!
How do you stop a bear from charging?
Take away its credit cards.
Why did the two bears break up at the North Pole?
They were polar opposites.
What do you call a Mexican bear with a rubber toe?
Robearto.
Have you ever had a dream about a bear eating you?
I call them bite-mares.
Why did the bear dissolve in water?
It was polar.
What is a polar bear’s favorite food?
Iceberg lettuce and snow peas.
Why do bears have fur coats?
Because they look silly wearing jackets.
Why didn’t the teddy bear want any dessert?
He was already stuffed.
What is a bear’s favorite dessert?
Blue beary pie.
Why do bears have sticky fur?
Because they use honey combs.
Why don’t bears eat fast food?
Because it’s hard for them to catch.
Why didn’t the teddy bear eat his lunch?
Because he was stuffed.
What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig?
A teddy boar.
What is a bear’s favorite soda?
Coca Koala.
Why did God create Yogi bear?
Because on his first try he made a Boo-Boo.
What do you call a bear without any teeth?
A gummy bear.
Where do the teenaged polar bears go to dance?
To the snow-ball.
Why do grizzlies never look sad?
Because whenever there’s a problem, they just grin and bear it.
How can a bear catch fish without a pole?
They use their bear hands.
What does Pooh Bear call his girl friend?
Hunny.
What is a polar bear’s favorite snack?
Brrrrrittos.
What kind of car do bears drive?
Fur-aris.
Which animal can hibernate while standing on its head?
Yoga Bear.
What do you call a bear with a bad attitude?
The bearer of bad news.
Goldilocks was killed last night.
The killers did it with their own bear hands.
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