What do you call a bat with the flu?
An airborne disease.
How do bats tell their future?
They read their horrors-cope.
What did the pastry cook say when he was making the cake?
Bat-a-cake. Bat-a-cake.
How do you hold a bat?
By the wings.
What do you get if you cross a bat with a woodpecker?
Bat-a-tat.
Why did the vampire need mouthwash? Because he had bat breath.
What do vampire bats call their friends?
Blood brothers.
What did the pitcher tell the bat? Batter-up.
What bat was called an invader?
Bat-talina.
What do you call a dream when a vampire bat is chasing you?
A bat-mare.
Did you hear about the two bats meeting? It was love at first bite!
Where do bats get their education?
In night schools.
When does a bat go "mooooo"? When it is learning a new language!
What do you get when you cross a bat with the internet?
Blood-thirsty hacker.
What did the bat complain about?
Flying with such frequency was exhausting.
What happened if vampires came to a big dance?
A bat ball.
Why don’t bats sleep like the rest of us?
They can't get the hang of it.
What do you call an bat with a carrot in each ear? Anything you want as he can't hear you!
What did the baby mouse do when she saw a bat?
She ran home and told her mother she saw an angel
How do you write a book about Bats? With a ghostwriter.
What happened when the bat swallowed the alarm-clock?
She turned into a ding-bat.
Which bat can hang the highest and longest?
The acro-bat.
What is the first thing that bats learn at school? The alphabat.
Where do bats keep their money?
The blood bank.
What’s a bats favorite desert?
I-Scream!
What fruit do vampire bats like the best?
Neck-tarines.
What does a vampire bat call a bloodmobile?
Meals on Wheels.
What do bats say to those they dislike? Good riddance to bat rubbish!
Why shouldn’t you drive with a vampire?
He will drive you batty.
Why could not the young vampire bat play baseball?
He was a bat boy.
What did hear about the two bats meeting?
It was love at first bite!
What holiday do bats love best?
St. Bat-rich’s Day.
Where do bats keep their money? The blood bank!
What game do bats like to play with birds?
Bat-mington.
What do you have to know to teach a bat tricks?
More than a bat.
How do bats line up in school?
In alpha-bat-ical order.
What was the most famous bat comedy team?
Ab-bat and Costello.
Why did the bat break up with her girlfriend?
She thought she was a pain in the neck.
What game do little bats like to play?
Batty fight.
How do bats spend their time?
Flying and hanging out.
Why did the bat often use mouthwash? She had bat breath.
What's a bats favorite desert? I-Scream!
How do bats tell their future? They read their horrorscope.
What position did the young vampire bat play on the football team?
Quater-bat.