Why are alligator comedians so funny?
Their wit is as razor sharp as their teeth!
Who is king of all the mice?
Mouse Tse Tung!
Did you hear about the law firm with the most intimidating lawyers?
It’s filled with liti-gators.
Why are two parrots better than one? One parrot can't carry a coconut, but toucan!
What do you call a flamingo that flew into a wall?
A flamingstop.
What did the llama say to the grass?
“Nice gnawing you!”
Why are goats from France musical?
Because they have French horns.
What is the difference between a dirty bus stop, and a crab with breast implants?
Ones a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean!
How do you make a dinosaur float? Put a scoop of ice cream in a glass of root beer, and add one dinosaur.
What do you call a royal giraffe?
Your highness.
When a girl saw a sad alligator at the zoo she asked him; hey are you cai-man?
What do you call the ghost of a chicken? A poultry-geist.
How do officials start the races at the pink bird olympics? They say three... two... one... flaminGO!
What do you call someone who tells too many dinosaur jokes?
A dino-bore.
How do you say farewell to a very optimistic insect?
Buoyant!
Q. What did the Aussie zookeeper say to the gorilla who was spying on him?
A. There's no need to pry, mate.
I just watched a documentary about beavers. It was the best dam show I’ve ever seen.
What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?
Bamboo.
What do you call a koala with no teeth? A gummy bear.
Why do owl babies take after their dad?
Like feather, like son.
How do you know you have a tape worm?
It’s comming out of your belly!
What is the difference between a panda and a polar bear?
About 1,000 miles.
When you come across a lost wolf, the first greeting should be, “how are you where-wolf”.
How many ants are needed to fill an apartment?
Ten-ants.
The only things wolves have that no other animal on the face of the earth has are wolf cubs.
When it’s raining, a turtle goes to a shell-ter.
What do you call Spider-Man at his full potential
Petest Parkest.
Where do crows go to get educated?
CAWlege
I read a story about pig anatomy.
It was all straightforward until I found a twist in the tale.
Let's play some scrabble, I just need to get the croc-a-tiles.
How do flamingos clean themselves? They flaminget a shower.
Why did the beaver refuse to laugh at any of the twig's jokes? He is not a big fan of dry humor.
What natural disaster took out the ancient horses?
A volcanic stirruption.
What is a frog's favorite time?
Leap year.
What do you call an explosive horse?
Neigh-palm.
What do you call a Triceratops who scores his first goal? Dino- score!
Today I learned that a giraffe’s neck is so strong a human can climb up it.
Also, I got banned from my local zoo.
What is a pirate’s favorite’s fish?
A pirates favorite fish is a swordfish!
What did the Gorilla say to his friend when he called him back on the phone?
You-Rang-a-Tang?
Why did the bees go on strike? Because they wanted more honey and shorter working flowers.
I saw a beaver and I thought it was odd. Then I saw another semiaquatic creature and I thought it was otter.
Where do parrots get away on holiday? To the beak!
What color socks do bears wear?
They don’t wear socks, they have bear feet.
How do gorillas get down the stairs? They slide down the banana-ster!
What do you call dogs who pay in the snow?
Slush puppies.
Why don’t elephants use computers?
Because they’re afraid of the mouse.
I was at the beach today when I saw a man in the sea yelling “Help, shark! Help!”
I just laughed. I knew that shark wasn’t going to help him.
How did the calf’s final exam turn out?
Grade A.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fishually impaired.
How do you save a drowning mouse ?
Use mouse to mouse resuscitation !
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