What do you call a large pile of cats? A meowntain!
Why are beavers so good in maths? They love log'arithms.
The hotel said NO DOGS ALLOWED.
I guess it was a little too paw-sh.
How do Penguins drink their cola?
On the rocks.
What did the squirrel say to its baby before it had to leave?
I'm gonna go out on a limb here.
What did the fish say when he posted bail?
I’m off the hook!
What did the duck eat for snack?
Salted Quackers.
Where do fish go to watch movies?
At the dive-in.
What’s black and white with red spots?
A panda with the measles.
What is a koala’s favorite type of fruit? Bearies.
What did the Easter bunny say to the carrot?It’s been nice gnawing you.
How does a deer know what day of the week it is?
It looks at its calen-deer.
How do bats tell their future?
They read their horrors-cope.
Wolfs are named after lots of things around and about them. For instance, lumberjack wolfs are known as timber wolfs.
Tigers are probably the most roarsome animal ever created!
A priest, a rabbit and a deacon walk into a blood bank.
"I think I might be a type o." said the rabbit.
Psychologist: What brings you here today?
Squirrel: I realized I am what I eat….. Nuts.
When we cross a deer and a mouse, what would we get?
“Mickey Moose!”
Who was the criminal crow running from? The cawps.
Why was the horse such a good dancer?
It perfected its halturn.
Dolphins don't have accidents.
They do everything on porpoise.
What do you call a glass of alcoholic pig’s blood? Swine.
What is a deer’s favorite place to get breakfast?
Dunkin’ Doe-nuts!
I had a nightmare about being attacked by a shark.
When I woke up I realized it was just a bream.
Why don’t monkeys play cards in the jungle?
Because there are too many cheetahs.
The big cat was known around town to wear a lot of funky ties. Everyone called him the tie-ger.
I watched a good film about fishing last night.
It had a great cast.
Why don’t kangaroos make good sailors?
Because they’re always jumping ship.
What do drunk kangaroos play?
Hopscotch.
How do you write a book about bats? With a ghostwriter.
What happened to the Easter bunny at school? He was eggspelled.
What do you get if you cross a frog and a dog?
A croaker spaniel.
How do camels blend in?
With camel-flage
What do you call a group of chickens clucking in unison?
A Hensemble.
What do you call a baby monkey?
A chimp off the old block.
What do you call a frog hanging from the ceiling at Christmas?
Mistletoad.
What is a criminal group of kangaroos called?
A gangaroo.
Why did the owl join Tinder?
He didn’t want to be owl by himself.
A beaver goes into a bar and sees a man standing behind the bar and asks him...
"Excuse me sir. Is the bar tender here?"
What is the head of an Italian dinosaur family called? Ptera Don
What do you call a stoned, dyslexic crow?
A hybrid
What is the coldest type of horse?
A freezian.
Beat funny horse puns
What’s a horse’s favorite makeup brand?
Neighhhbelline.
How do you measure the circumference of a Sheep?
Shepherds Pie
Why didn’t the boy believe the tiger? Because he thought it was a lion!
What do you call an ant that doesn’t get warm?
Coolant.
What do you call a cold dog sitting on a rabbit? A chili dog on a bun!
My uncles petshop really started doing well when he started selling parrots. They literally flew off the shelves.
What is smarter than a talking cat? A spelling bee.
I tried asking some beavers to help me build my house. They didn’t give a dam.
What do you get if you cross a talking parrot with a gorilla?
I am not sure but if he says something you better damn well listen.
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