What's the difference between Cloepatra and King Arthur?
One had Camelot and one had a lot of camels.
How many worms does it take to eat a zombie?
It depends on the size of the zombie!
What does a chocolate crow say? “Cacao!”
When you come across a werewolf with no legs, how do you call it? Call it anything because it cannot chase you!
What do you call an alligator that has all the other gators at the swamp crown around him?
A congregator.
What do you call an elephant that’s never clean?
A smelly-phant.
What’s a mouse favourite family sitcom?
Full Mouse.
What is a dog’s favorite pick-up line?
You must be my backyard… because I dig you
How do you write a book about Bats? With a ghostwriter.
How do bats spend their time?
Flying and hanging out.
When my wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo,
I had to put my foot down.
What do chickens grow on?
Eggplants.
What side does the zebra have the most stripes on?
The outside.
What do you call it when worms take over the world? Global Worming.
Where do polar bears keep their money?
In a snow bank.
Q. Which sweet dessert is banned from the menu at the Deer Cafe?
A. Chocolate Moose.
What did the owl’s valentine say?
You are hootiful.
What do you call a food stamp inside of a burrito? An otter fortune cookie
What do you call an owl who knows how to do magic tricks?
Hoodini.
What do you get if you feed gunpowder to a chicken?
An egg-splosion.
There once was a koala who could run at a speed of more than 800 miles per hour. He was the first koala to break the sound bearier.
What do you call a hamster in between two slices of bread?
A ham sandwich.
What do chicken families do on Saturday afternoon?
They go on peck-nics.
What do you get when you cross a parrot and a shark?
A bird that talks your ears off.
What did the pitcher tell the bat? Batter-up.
Q: Which U.S. state do tigers like the most?
A: Maine.
What type of cats usually purr the best? Purr-sians!
What do you call a bear without any teeth?
A gummy bear.
Wondering what crows prefer with soup, crows like crowtons in their soup.
Where do pigs keep their money? Why in the piggy bank, of course.
Where do cats go when they die? Purr-gatory.
What do you call a royal giraffe?
Your highness.
What do you call an immature goat?
A silly billy.
What do dehydrated alligators drink?
Gatorade.
What did the deer order to drink at the bar?
Ice cold deer.
Who would win in a fight between a kangaroo and a zebra?
The zebra. Because he has so many black belts.
What’s black, dangerous and hides in trees?
A crow with a machine gun.
How does the Easter Bunny stay healthy? Eggsercise, particularly hareobics!
I like dillos, but do not support giving them guns.
I would never armadillo.
What type of cat belongs to the baker? One that’s pure-bread
What did the seal with a broken arm say to the shark?
"Do not consume if seal is broken."
Did you hear about the sheep's jousting tournament?
It was a real baa-lancing act.
Why do you never see koalas wearing shoes? Because they love going bearfoot.
How do officials start the races at the pink bird olympics? They say three... two... one... flaminGO!
What do you get when you cross a banker with a fish?
A loan shark
What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo? An eskimew!
How can you tell when a polar bear is moving?
There’s a “fur sale” sign in the yard.
How did the dinosaur feel after he ate a pillow? Down in the mouth!
Turtles keep on winning battles because they are perfect at shelling their enemies.
Why was the dog chasing his own tail?
Because he was trying to make both ends meet.