What do you call a goat on a mountain?
Hillbilly.
How do you let a deer know you like her?
You fawn over her.
What did the turkey say to the man who tried to shoot it? Liberty, Equality and Bad aim for all.
What’s the super-confusing way that pigs say I love you? “I a-boar-you.”
Why do cats not laugh at jokes? They take things too litter-ally.
How do shellfish get to the hospital?
In a clambulance!
As long as your dog sticks by your side.
Anything is paw-sible.
Why don’t most restaurants serve giraffe?
Because it’s a tall order.
How did the shark plead in its murder trial?
Not gill-ty.
What is the biggest ant in the world?
An elephant.
What did the beaver say when it saw it's home on fire?
Hot Dam!
What does the Pope eat during Lent?
Holy mackerel.
What do you call a kangaroo DJ?
Disc joey.
Stopped by a roadside stand that said lobster tails $2. I paid my $2 and he said...
Once upon a time there was this lobster...
What kind of musical instrument do mice play?
A mouse organ!
What do you call a fascist mosquito?
Benito Mosquitollini.
Why shouldn’t you drive with a vampire?
He will drive you batty.
How do you tell the difference between a rabbit and a gorilla?
A rabbit looks nothing like a gorilla
What does a vampire bat call a bloodmobile?
Meals on Wheels.
I sprayed a mosquito with mosquito repellent.
Now it has no friends.
What’s the difference between a healthy rabbit and an odd rabbit? One is a fit bunny, and the other’s a bit funny!
The tiger ran away from other tigers as they were rude to him. He didn't want to be involved in a catfight.
What is most gorillas' favorite book to study in English class at high school?
The Apes Of Wrath.
What do you call a pig that drives around recklessly?
A road hog.
What do you call a dinosaur that lost his glasses? uthinkhesawrus
My dog loves poetry.
Especially William Shakes-paw.
What did the mom say to her kitten when she caught him slouching? Paw attention to your paw-sture!
Two fruit flies are out for dinner.
I'm really enjoy this date...”
“Yeah, but it’s only half rotten.”
What does a monkey wear while cooking?
An ape-ron.
What's green and hangs from trees? Dinosaur snot.
What does an owl with an attitude have?
A scowl.
What's the best way to stuff a turkey? Serve him lots of pizza and ice cream!
What do you get when you mix an elephant and a kangaroo?
Big holes all over Australia.
What is a polar bear’s favorite snack?
Brrrrrittos.
The killer whale planned its attack on the seals for weeks.
It was very carefully orca-strated.
What did the mommy dolphin do when her son was an hour late for dinner?
She flipped out!
What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow?
Cowboom.
Where is a frog's favorite place to eat?
At IHOP.
What happens when a koala drinks too much alcohol? He gets a bear gut.
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard, and a German are all watching a dolphin do some excellent tricks.
The dolphin notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he jumps higher out of the water and calls out, 'Can you all see me now?' And they respond: 'Yes.' 'Oui.' 'Sí.' 'Ja.'
No, I'm not concerned about crows infesting my house...
It's actually just a mynah problem.
Zebras usually hold strong opinions. They are very black and white creatures.
What did the deer say to her daughter?
“Soon you’ll be all doe-n up!”
Did you hear the story about a Golden Retriever who brought a ball back from miles away?
It was far-fetched.
I saw a lady riding a camel and being pulled by a truck... It was a camel tow
The crow decided to dress up as Corvid-19 virus for the Halloween costume party.
A spider crawled under my keyboard a few minutes ago.
Good news: I’ve got it under Ctrl.
What did the bunny say to its crush? Hey there hop stuff.
What’s an elephant’s secret talent?
They’re great at multi-tusking.
Who is a Penguin’s favorite pop star?
Seal.