What is the definition of “moon”?
The past tense of “moo”.
What do you call a liquid kangaroo?
Marsoupial.
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing?
“I’m not a people porcine.”
Who has large antlers, a high voice and wears white gloves? Mickey Moose!
Why did it take the teen pig so long to get ready for school in the morning?
She was very piggy when it comes to choosing what to wear!
What board game do deer families always play?
Buck-gammon.
Which animal can hibernate while standing on its head?
Yoga Bear.
Why did the bunny eat the wedding ring? Because he heard it was 18 carrots.
Where do deer get all of their coffee?
Star-bucks!
What do you have left after a pig eats a watermelon?
Pork rinds.
I saw a pig with laryngitis.
He was disgruntled.
I like dillos, but do not support giving them guns.
I would never armadillo.
What do koalas use when they’re doing yard work? A wheelbearow.
What’s a shark’s favorite movie?
The Shaw-shark Redemption.
What’s an elephant’s secret talent?
They’re great at multi-tusking.
What did the wife beaver say to her astronaut husband? You are otter this world.
What’s long, green and goes hith?
A snake with a lisp.
What do you call a cold dog?
A pup-sicle. Better steer clear, especially if he’s fur-ocious… don’t want him to give you frost-bite.
What do you call a militia of pigeons?
A coo.
How do pigs greet their family and friends?
With hogs and kisses.
How do you keep a dog from smelling?
You hold its nose.
Who cleans all the mess created by beavers after their beach trip? Mer-maids.
What is small, furry and brilliant at sword fights?
A mouseketeer!
What type of cats usually purr the best? Purr-sians!
Q: What do you call a French guy being mauled by a tiger?
A: Claude.
What do you call a quiet sheep?
A shhhhhhh-eep.
What’s a horse’s favorite dance move?
Watch me whip, now watch me neigh neigh.
What do you call a penguin in a shell suit?
An egg.
What do you call a happy penguin?
a Pen-Grin!
How do turtles communicate with each other?
With shell phones.
Is it true that a dinosaur won't attack if you hold a tree branch? That depends on how fast you carry it!
What did the llama say when he was invited to the picnic?
Alpaca lunch.
What’s the definition of butter?
An angry goat.
I told my parents I wanted to raise goats for a living, but I was only kidding.
What is a mouse’s favorite game?
Hide and squeak!
What happens to great actors? They get nominated for an a-cat-emy award!
What happened when the tiger ate the comedian?
He felt funny!
Why did the chicken join a band?
Because it already had drumsticks.
What do you call a rubber bumper on a yacht?
A shark absorber.
What did the carrot say to the rabbit? Do you want to grab a bite?
You have goat to be kidding me.
What does a vampire bat call a bloodmobile?
Meals on Wheels.
What do you call a cold penguin?
A Brrr-d.
What’s a dolphin’s favorite constellation?
The Big Dipper!
I whisper my sins to crows
So my parents can't hear me confess to a murder
How does a horse make paper mâché?
With newspaper clip-clop-pings.
Where do polar bears keep their money?
In a snow bank.
What do you get when you sit under a cow?
A pat on the head.
How did the rabbit become a wrestling champion? It had a lot of hare pins!
My dog’s favorite band is The Beagles.
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