What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
Decalfeinated.
What did Detective Duck say to his partner?
“Let’s quack this case.”
What kind of car does an otter drive? A Furrari.
My friend’s parrot lost his beak in a fan accident and he wanted to find a prosthetic. I sent him to my Uncle Tony.
He fits the bill.
What kind of dinosaur can you ride in a rodeo? A Bronco-saurus!
Q. How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Two, but it has to be a really BIG light bulb.
I saw a pig with laryngitis.
He was disgruntled.
Sheep jokes are bad.
Really baaaaaaa-d.
What's an owl's favorite Beatles song?
Owl You Need Is Love.
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a fish?
Swimming trunks!
What do dinosaurs have that no other animals have? Baby Dinosaurs.
How can you tell which end of a worm is which?
Tell it a funny Halloween joke and see which end laughs!
If you have a line of 100 rabbits in a row and 99 of them take 1 step backwards, what do you have? A receding hare line.
What did the jockey respond when someone asked to ride his horse?
“Dis-mount is mine.”
Why don’t bears eat fast food?
Because it’s hard for them to catch.
Did you hear about the two silkworms that were in a race? They wound up in a tie.
My pet parrot, Nickel, just passed away.
Now I have a Nickel-less cage.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus?
A porky-pine.
What kind of bird always gets stuck in the nest? A velcrow.
Why couldn't the leopard play hide and seek?
Because he was always spotted.
Why did the pony turn himself in?
He felt rem-horse.
What's the best time of year to see gorillas in the wild? Ape-ril.
What’s a horse’s favorite sport?
Saddleball.
Why Was The Teacher Annoyed With The Duck?
Because he wouldn't quit quackin' jokes!
That romantic cow took his new girlfriend to the moo-vies.
What does the mouse say to its mate? "Were like crackers and cheese"
Where do flies go for a holiday?
Flywaii.
Of all the best pieces of wolf advice, this is my favorite, “stand fur what you believe”
What Christmas carol do they sing in the desert? O' Camel ye faithful.
What do you call a gorilla who has been locked up in prison?
A kong-vict
What did the zoologist and the herbalist name their child? Tiger Woods.
Why don’t monkeys wear pocket watches?
Because they don’t wear pants.
Why do squirrels swim on their backs?
To keep their nuts dry.
How do you let a deer know you like her?
You fawn over her.
What is a dog’s favorite vegetable? A collie flower.
What kind of bugs live in clocks? Ticks!
What does a dog wear when it’s cold outside?
A pet-ticoat.
Why couldn’t the dog fit in his clothes?
He was a little husky
How does a snake shoot something?
With a boa and arrow.
Did you hear about the mother goat telling jokes?
She’s a real kidder.
The public investigated a box full of crows because it was a murder case.
There was a flamingo in our garden for such a long time, we started calling it a flaminstay.
Where do beavers sleep? They sleep on a river bed.
What is an owl’s favorite Beatles’ song?
Owl you need is love.
Which bat can hang the highest and longest?
The acro-bat.
What did the kangaroo say about the man who kidnapped her joey?
Stop that pick-pocket!
How does a dolphin do cocaine?
With its blow hole.
Who granted the fish’s wish?
The fairy cod mother!
Why don’t elephants use computers?
Because they’re afraid of the mouse.
What sound does a llama’s doorbell make?
Llama llama ding dong.
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