Flamingos are great at surfing the internet. I think it’s because they have webbed feet.
What kind of ant is good at math?
An account-ant.
What do you get if you cross a squirrel with an elephant?
An animal that remembers where it hid its nuts.
What did the Mountain lion say to the bathroom attendant?
Out of the way, I’m about to Puma pants!
What is a criminal group of kangaroos called?
A gangaroo.
What do you call a bat with ebola? African batman.
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers.
Where do most horses work for their first job?
Re-tail stores.
How do you catch a monkey?
Climb a tree and act like a banana.
Q: What did the sign for the party for beavers say?
A: Beaver or be square.
Q. What does one teen buck say to oad another into doing something risky?
A. I double deer you!
What do grizzlies use in the shower?
Bear conditioner.
What do you call a dinosaur that eats fireworks? A dino-mite
What kind of ice cream do pigs like best?
Hoggin Daz!
How does a bear get from one place to another?
On a bear-o-plane.
Why are crows the safest flying birds?
They're the most CAWtious.
What did the mouse say when his friend broke his front teeth?
Hard cheese!
What do Chinese bears wear over their faces when they’re robbing banks?
Pandanas!
What do you call it when a beautiful woman tries to trick you into giving her a pig?
A bae con.
What do you call a mouse with no balls?
Optical.
Why do flamingos make bad pets? They are too much of a birden.
I’ve just read that according to statistics, donkeys kill more people every year than sharks.
I better watch my ass.
What is the only animal smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee!
Crows organized a cawnfrences, to discuss the upcoming project.
What do confused owls say?
Too-whit-to-why?
Why was the horse sad she didn’t get the job?
She was flanking on it.
What do you call two crows flying together?
An attempted murder
What is a dog’s favorite type of homework?
A lab report.
My friend, who's a geneticist and a rapper crossed a gorilla with an orang utan
That's his new mixed ape.
What did the baby rabbit say before his favorite holiday? I carrot wait for the Easter Bunny to visit.
My flamingo friends are always making me pay for dinner. I find that they can be real cheepskates.
Where do fish wash?
In a river basin.
What was the motto of the unique deer? Deer to be different!
What happens to great actors? They get nominated for an a-cat-emy award!
What is one of the big tiger's most favorite hangout places? A shopping maul.
How do you measure a mosquito’s harddrive?
With bug bytes.
I saw a squirrel throw up today! It was nuts!
What do you call a holy squirrel?
A chipmunk.
What did the deer say after prancing around a cloning machine for an hour?
“I feel like a million bucks!”
How did the shark plead in its murder trial?
Not gill-ty.
Wondering what crows wear during Halloween, well, they wear caw-stumes.
How do sick kangaroos get better?
They have a hoperation.
Did you hear what happened to the Energizer Bunny? He got arrested for Battery.
Why can't you take a turkey to church? They use FOWL language.
What do you get when you cross two fish with two elephants?
A pair of swimming trunks.
Why do beavers make the best neighbors?
Because they mind their own dam business.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
I bought a bunny because everyone needs a friend who is all ears.
Rabbits are trying to eat away my old Toyota!
Mechanic said it could be car rot.
Q. Why did the gorilla cross the road?
A. To get to the monkey biz on the other side.
Where do penguins go to the movies?
At the dive-in!
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