The collective noun for kangaroos is a "troop". What is the collective noun for cars?
A Lot
Why are goldfish orange?
The water makes them rusty.
What kind of dog keeps everything they own?
A hoarder collie.
What’s the difference between a marine biologist and a dog?
One tags a whale, the other wags a tail.
What do we learn from cows, buffaloes and elephants?
It’s impossible to reduce weight by eating green grass and salads and walking.
How does a bee get to school?
She takes a school buzz
Can one tropical bird change a lightbulb?
No, but toucan.
What did the fish say when he posted bail?
I’m off the hook!
How do monkeys get down the stairs?
They slide down the banana-ster.
What did the snail say to the other who had hit him and run off? I'll get you next slime!
Why didn’t the koala bear get the job? He was underkoalafied. How did he fix this? By going back to koalage.
How does a horse get a suit fitted?
With a tail-or.
What do winged horses attend in school? Pegclasses.
What do you call a snake that is 3.14 meters long?
A pi-thon.
What do you call a pig who does karate?
A pork chop.
Why do psychiatrists study bats?
They want to learn about their hang-ups.
How do the cool camels say hello?
"How you dune?"
What do rodents say when they play bingo? 'Eyes down for a full mouse'!
A detective recently came into town to visit the new sushi restaurant
He heard there was a fishy business.
What does a doe stripper at a stag party take off?
A. Everything but her un-deer-wear.
How do you make a goldfish old?
Take away the “G”!
Crows organized a cawnfrences, to discuss the upcoming project.
What do you call a 100 year old ant?
An ant-ique.
Why don’t dolphin do well on school tests?
Because they work below C-Level!
What do you call a poor ant?
A peas-ant.
My Chinese neighbour said he's just opened a crows shop.
Speaking slowly, I said "you mean a *clothes* shop?"
He says, "No, a crows shop - come in and have a rook."
Did you hear about the sheep's jousting tournament?
It was a real baa-lancing act.
What did the crow decide to dress up as on Halloween? As a scarecrow.
What did the tiger say to her cub on his birthday?
It’s roar birthday!
An arrogant gazelle walks up to a bunch of lions and tells them how much better he is than them.
He was consumed by pride.
What's the best way to talk to a Tyrannosaur ? Long distance!
What do you call an ant who likes to be alone?
Independ-ant.
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
Decalfeinated.
Why was the cat kicked out of the game? They thought she was a cheetah.
Why couldn’t the dog say, “Ahhh”?
Because the cat got his tongue.
How do sick kangaroos get better?
They have a hoperation.
I do find that flamingos don’t plan very well for the future… They’re too prone to putting all their eggs in the one basket.
Where does a 2,000 pound gorilla sit?
Anywhere it wants to.
What do you call Tyrannosaurus rex when it wears a cowboy hat and boots ? Tyrannosaurus tex!
I bought my rabbit a fancy new hutch. But he doesn’t seem to carrot all.
What kind of materials do dinosaurs use for the floor of their homes? Rep Tiles
When you swat a mosquito on your arm
Its death is in vein.
Sheep jokes are bad.
Really baaaaaaa-d.
Where do otters keep their money? In the river bank!
What does a skunk’s car run on?
Fumes.
Why did the bunny build herself a new house? She was fed up with the hole thing!
What do you call a group of whale musicians?
An orca-stra.
What makes more noise than a dinosaur ? Two dinosaurs!
What do you call a cold, angry pig? A ham-brr-grr.
Q. Which book makes virgin gorillas blush?
A. The Naked Ape.
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