How do you get down off a horse?
You don’t, you get down off a duck.
What did the deer write in his journal every day? Deer diary.
Why don’t anteaters get sick?
Because they’re full of antibodies.
What do we learn from cows, buffaloes and elephants?
It’s impossible to reduce weight by eating green grass and salads and walking.
What happens when you buy a dog from the blacksmith?
When he gets home he’ll make a bolt for the door.
How do you catch a unique tiger?
Unique up on it.
How do you catch a tame tiger?
Tame way.
Who in the hell names their son “Tiger” ?
Only people in the Woods’
What do you get when you cross a turkey with a banjo? A turkey that can pluck itself!
What did the beaver say to the river? Meet me around the bend.
How do shellfish get to the hospital?
In a clambulance!
I'm going to combine my interests of taxidermy and bomb making
by making you an otter you can't defuse.
Our lobster neighbors never give us gifts during the holidays!
They’re so shellfish.
Do you know how long dinosaurs should be fed? Exactly the same as short dinosaurs.
What happened when the pig pen broke?
They had to use the pig pencil.
Who brings presents for crows on Christmas? On Christmas? Santa Caws
What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a crab with boobs?
One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.
Where was the dinosaur when the sun went down ? In the dark!
Why do dogs find it hard to work the TV remote?
Because they always hit the paws button.
Which animal can hibernate while standing on its head?
Yoga Bear.
What’s black and white and as hard as a rock?
A panda that’s fallen in cement.
Where do pigs keep their money? Why in the piggy bank, of course.
Alligators ask lots of questions, they'd make great interri-gators.
Sorry we missed puppy class.
My dog was wagging. There goes his oppawtunity for pawfect attendance…
The chicken farmer died under mysterious circumstances.
The police suspect fowl play.
What happened to the Easter bunny at school? He was eggspelled.
Where do wasps go on holiday?
Stingapore.
How do bears keep their houses cool in summer?
Bear conditioning.
What is small, has a long tail and works with the police?
A gerbil shepherd dog!
How do elephants bathe?
With their trunks on.
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd!
What does a turtle do during winter? Sit by the fire and worm himself up.
What do you call two crows flying together?
An attempted murder
What does a winged horse drink from at a party?
A keg-asus.
What do you get if you cross a frog and a dog?
A croaker spaniel.
When does a turkey go "mooooo"? When it is learning a new language!
I personally think bunnies are ear-resistible.
How do you circumcise a whale?
You send down four skin divers.
Why are penguins good race drivers?
Because they’re always in the pole position.
What do goats eat?
Goatmeal.
What do you give a sick pig?
Oinkment.
Deja moo:
That feeling you've heard this bull before.
What key has legs and can't open doors? A Turkey.
Looks like the boa cons-tricked her.
When buying crows for commercial use, always buy them in groups...
That way, you’re guaranteed to make a killing.
What do you call a cold dog sitting on a rabbit? A chili dog on a bun!
Why was the mosquito sad on christmas?
It was a bah hum bug.
What do you call people who are obsessed with crocodiles?
Crocophiles.
Why don't gorillas vote?
They're ape-political.
What do you call it when a family passes down a turkey recipe?
Copy and basting.
What do you get when you cross a bat with the internet? blood-thirsty hacker baby
Go to BabaMail
