Why was the horse feeling a bit sick?
Its voice was a bit hoarse.
What kind of letters did the snake get from his admirers?
Fang letters.
Why is a giraffe’s neck so long?
Because its head is so far from its body.
What is in the middle of dinosaurs ? The letter "s"!
Have you ever tried crossing a lion with a flamingo? It will be pink, that’s the mane thing.
What kind of musical instrument do mice play? A mouse organ! Why do mice have long tails? Well, they'd look silly with long hair!
I’m putting an official ban on rabbit puns. They are not bunny anymore.
The beavers avoid going deep-diving now. They saw one beaver hitting rock bottom.
Why was the cow so scared?
Because he was a cow-ard.
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot!
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite game?
Jump rope.
What fish like to fly?
Flying Fish
Q. Which square dancing step do stags enjoy most?
A. The Doe-si-Does.
How do officials start the races at the pink bird olympics? They say three... two... one... flaminGO!
Why did the bank have the squirrel arrested?
He was foraging checks.
Never take a flamingo to the local swimming baths. They really don’t like claw-rine.
Why do owls shower so often?
So they don’t smell fowl.
How did the beaver build the insides of a dam using logs? He logged in.
India is a very peaceful country.
Because nobody has any beef over there.
What does a squirrel wear on its feet?
Cashews
What is smarter than a talking cat? A spelling bee.
What's it called when a buffalo turns two hundred years old?
A Bisontennial!
What’s black and white, black and white, and black and white?
A penguin rolling down a hill.
The local zoo just started a recycling collection program to support its mission: 'When you bring in one can, you can save Toucans.'
Why was the mosquito sad on christmas?
It was a bah hum bug.
What’s black and white and stands in the corner?
A naughty panda.
Why couldn’t the pig tie his shoelaces? He was too ham-fisted.
What was the dog’s favorite book?
Winnie the Pooch. He loves to read a lot of story tails before bed.
What would a tiger running a Xerox machine in the back of a store be called? A copycat.
What steps do you take when you see a tiger running towards you? Big ones!
What happened to the vet that was accused of negligence? They were sued for meow-practice
What do you call a monkey with a banana in each ear?
Anything you want, he can’t hear you.
Why do people like working at the Red Lobster?
It helps them get out of their shell.
What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot? A carrot!
What do you get if you try to cross a mouse with a skunk?
Dirty looks from the mouse!
What do you call it when evil worms take over the world?
Global Worming!
Q. Which Louisville race exclusively features buck and stag contestants?
A. The Kentucky Deer-by.
One of the punny pig names for a pig that loves Shakespeare is Hamlet.
Why did the two boa constrictors get married?
Because they had a crush on each other.
Flamingoes have a special name for one of their numbers who has passed away. They call it flamingone.
What did the jockey respond when someone asked to ride his horse?
“Dis-mount is mine.”
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road, rolls in the dirt, crosses the road again, and then rolls in the dirt again?
A dirty double-crossing chicken.
A beaver told a joke about a waterfall. It was a pour joke.
If a goat grows a beard, is it a goatee?
Q: How do you stop an angry tiger from charging?
A: Take away his credit cards.
What do you get if you cross a dinosaur with a pig?
Jurassic Pork.
How does a deer know what day of the week it is?
It looks at its calen-deer.
What would a winged horse put in the bathtub?
A pegaLush bath bomb.
What was the turkey suspected of? Fowl play.
Why did the fish cross the road?
The chicken had the days off!
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