What do you call an ant that doesn’t get warm?
Coolant.
What is a bear’s favorite soda?
Coca Koala.
Q. How do you describe a stinking filthy buck?
A. Deer-ty.
What do you call a bear with a bad attitude?
The bearer of bad news.
Why did the mother cow give the sleepy baby cow a hammer?
He wanted her to hit the hay.
What do you call a nervous baby ant?
A little antsy.
What do you do when your dog chews a dictionary?
Take the words out of his mouth.
What happened to the shark who swallowed a bunch of keys?
It got lockjaw.
What type of cat will keep your garden looking nice and tidy? A lawn meower.
A bear covered in a bunch of crows gives the picture of a grizzly murder.
Where do frogs leave their hats and coats?
In the croakroom.
The farmer cried wolf when all his three pigs were mauled by the jungle wolf.
There’s a lot of debate over where the best place to punch a shark is.
Personally, I think it’s the sea.
An electrocuted turtle feels shell-shocked.
What's a frog's favorite flower?
A croakus.
What’s black, dangerous and hides in trees?
A crow with a machine gun.
What do you get when you cross a Sheepdog with a jelly?
The collie wobbles.
Do You Know How Crabs Get Around On Land?
They Use The Sidewalk!
How can you tell which rabbits are getting old? Look for the grey hares.
What did the horse say when it saw a sheepdog?
“Why is your furlong?”
What kind of tree does a chicken come from?
A poul-tree.
What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow?
Cowboom.
Where do polar bears keep their money?
In a snow bank.
What do you give a sick snake?
Asp-rin.
What was the worm doing in the cornfield?
He was going in one ear and out the other!
When pigs live high on the hog, they run the risk of going into hock.
Q. Why was the blonde disappointed after her visit to an apiary?
A. There weren't any gorillas there. DUH!
How do turtles communicate with each other?
With shell phones.
What do you call a dog that’s been left outside in the cold?
A chili dog.
What type of dog does Dracula have?
A bloodhound.
A tiger lost a storytelling competition recently as he has only got one tail.
What did hear about the two bats meeting?
It was love at first bite!
What do you call a mouse that doesn’t like being known about-?
Anonymouse.
Where does a tiger sleep?
Anywhere he wants to!
How do you make an Octopus laugh?
With tentacles!
Where does a penguin go when it loses its tail?
A re-tail store.
Why did the gorilla cross the road? He had to take care of some monkey business.
How do tigers like their cheese?
Grrrrreated
What do polite whales always say?
You’re whale-come.
Why did the duck cross the road?
He was tied to the chicken.
I’ll think of another pun soon…
Just bear with me.
How do you give a deer a compliment?
“Fawn over him!”
A pony goes to see the doctor one day.
He says, "Doc, you've got to help me. I've had this terrible sore throat for weeks and I think there must be some badly wrong."
The doctor examines him and then reassures him saying, "It's okay, it's nothing serious; you're just a little horse."
I told my husband that the National Zoo's sloth bear gave birth but ate two of the three babies. He said "now she's guilty of 2 deadly sins: sloth and gluttony."
How does a deer know what day of the week it is?
It looks at its calen-deer.
If you mix a ghost and a cow together, you will create vanishing cream.
A local farmer has trained his pigs to perform ballet.
I’m going to see their production of swine lake.
How do elephants bathe?
With their trunks on.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What's grey, beautiful and wears glass slippers?
Cinderella-phant.
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