How many rabbits does it take to change a light bulb? Only one if it hops right to it.
Wolves love taking woofles for breakfast, they are sweet and amazing.
Where do pigs keep their money? Why in the piggy bank, of course.
What sickness do cowboys get from riding wild horses?
Bronchitis.
I went drinking with a bunch of kangaroos last night and they didn't buy me one drink all evening..
Talk about short arms long pockets...
Why are beavers so good in maths? They love log'arithms.
I once tried crossing a flamingo with a cement mixer. Sounds crazy, but I really wanted a good brick layer.
Whenever I go to a zoo, I only ever see dogs.
They were Shiht-zus.
How do pigs write top secret messages?
With invisible oink!
What did the weather reporter say to his wife?
“I hope it doesn’t rain, deer!”
When it’s raining, a turtle goes to a shell-ter.
How did the horse break into the mainframe?
It was a hack.
Why should you never fight a Gorilla?
They know king kong fu.
Why did the chimpanzee cross the road?
Because he had to take care of some monkey business.
Q. How did the wedding between the stag and the doe begin?
A. Deerly beloved...
Why did the duck cross the road?
He was tied to the chicken.
What position did the young vampire bat play on the football team?
Quater-bat.
What do you call it when cephalopods start becoming more strict about things?
Kraken down.
What do you call a Triceratops who scores his first goal? Dino- score!
What squeaks as it solves crimes?
Miami mice!
What do gorillas and orangutans wear in the kitchen?
Ape-rons.
I had a flamingo come to stay with me when he had a cold. We nicknamed him phlegmingo.
Why was there a troop of gorillas protesting outside the biscuit factory?
They wanted to stop the production of animal crackers.
What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud.
Q: What does a tiger call an antelope?
A: Fast food.
Why do owls make such bad baseball players?
Their hits are always fowl.
What’s the difference between a healthy rabbit and an odd rabbit? One is a fit bunny, and the other’s a bit funny!
Where do kangaroos like to eat?
At IHOP.
What is the maggot army called? The Apple Corps.
What is a deer’s favorite after-school snack?
“Doe-nuts.”
Where do Russians get their milk?
From Mos-cows.
Why did the whale cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
Why did the farmer feed money to his cow?
He wanted rich milk.
What has 80 teeth and 2 eyes ?
A crocodile.
I hate worms and snakes because they have no feet.
You might say that I am lacktoes intolerant.
My wife and I have been having trouble communicating. We decided to take a walk when we passed a farm. She said "awww, babe look at the sheep."
"No, ewe." I said.
How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?
Squeaky clean!
I bought a bunny because everyone needs a friend who is all ears.
Why are cats scared of trees?
Because of their bark.
What do bees use to build roads? Nec-tar.
Q: What’s a tiger’s favorite color?
A: Roar-range.
You have goat to be kidding me.
Why was the crow upset about his job? The HR fired the crow with no caws.
What do chickens call school tests?
Eggs-aminations.
What do you call a handsome seal?
Mr. Seal Yo Girl.
I tried riding a camel instead of a horse once.
It had its ups and downs.
How does a deer know what day of the week it is?
It looks at its calen-deer.
Why couldn’t the dog say, “Ahhh”?
Because the cat got his tongue.
What did the little piglet want from the swine?
A piggyback ride home.
What do you call a cross between a donkey and a zebra?
Debra.
Go to BabaMail
