What did the beaver say to the river? Meet me around the bend.
What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse? Kitty Perry
Why don't alligators like fast food?
Because it is difficult to catch.
What’s the difference between a marine biologist and a dog?
One tags a whale, the other wags a tail.
What weighs 800 pounds and sticks to the roof of your mouth ? A peanut butter and Stegosaurus sandwich!
What does a Triceratops sit on? Its Tricera-bottom.
What’s happens to the sportiest horse?
It gets to be first horse-pick of the draft.
What were the ponies most excited for in the meal?
The main horse.
What happens when you buy a dog from the blacksmith?
When he gets home he’ll make a bolt for the door.
I do wonder why my flamingo friends always do so well in tests and exams. After all, they always just wing it.
What do you call a cold penguin?
A Brrr-d.
How do you give a deer a compliment?
“Fawn over him!”
Who’s a llama’s favorite actor?
Al Pacacino.
A seal goes into a bar and the bartender asked him,"What will it be Mr seal?"
The seal responds,"anything but a Canadian Club".
The truck load of tortoise that crushed caused a turtle disaster.
What do ducks watch on TV?
Duck-umentaries.
What did the crow said when it saw a car coming? Cawr.
Who is a snake’s favorite actor?
Humphrey Boa-gart.
Whenever I go to a zoo, I only ever see dogs.
They were Shiht-zus.
What is a bat’s favorite dessert?
Pineapple upside-down cake.
What kind of seal do you get on letters from Turkey?
A stamped bull.
What’s black and white and yellow?
A cowardly panda.
What’s a horse’s favorite animated movie?
Bolt.
How did the kittens express their love for each other? In Holy Catrimony
What type of sandals do frogs wear?
Open-toad!
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with an elephant? An animal who never forgets to eat its carrots.
What do you get if cross a frog with some mist?
Kermit the Fog.
Q. Which doe did all the stags and bucks sing about in the 1960s?
A. Deer Prudence.
Where did the duck go when he was sick? A:
To the ducktor.
How come Crabs never share with their friends?
Because they're Shellfish.
What do mountain climbers share around the campfire?
Goat Stories!
What do you say to a twenty ton dinosaur with headphones on? Anything you want. He can't hear you.
Why didn’t the horse tell her friend she was a thief?
She didn’t want to saddle her with that information.
What does an exhibitionist snake wear to the beach?
A pythong.
What is a cat’s favorite TV show? The evening mews.
Did you hear about the doctor who was practicing bee venom therapy without a license?
He was arrested in a sting operation.
We have always been in turtle awe of her artistic skills.
What does a cat say when it gets injured? MeOWWW!
A saber tooth tiger would never blow anything up.
But a dino might.
Q: What does a tiger call an antelope?
A: Fast food.
What do you say when your horse proposes to your other horse?
Call the marrier!
Why did the pig get fired? Insu-boar-dination.
What do you can a kangaroo covered in tape?
Hopscotch
What kind of underwear do monkeys wear?
Chimpantsies.
What’s an elephant’s secret talent?
They’re great at multi-tusking.
Why didn’t the teddy bear want any dessert?
He was already stuffed.
What do rabbits say before they eat? Lettuce pray.
When does a turkey go "mooooo"? When it is learning a new language!
What’s a pig’s favorite holiday? Ar-boar Day.
Flamingos can be a bit of a daring bunch. In fact, they always fly by the seat of their pants.
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